Brave Heart, Brave Soul. She who is brave is free.

  Writing has been a large part of my journey. It's brought joy, happiness and healing. But all journeys come to an end. For me, the time for words is gone and the time for living in the moment is here.  Each of our individual journeys tells a story. Stories weaved from our experiences. You could call it a collective of our imperfections, deficiencies, success and triumphs. Our familiarity and shared circumstances, adventures and encounters connect us. And for the last 18 years I've shared many of mine here. Some good, a few bad and many in between. Each has given me the ability to work through my demons, shortcomings, fears and uneasiness. Every entry has led to this one…my last. Now, don’t get me wrong. It's not that I don't have more stories to tell or experiences to learn from. Indeed, I do. I've simply reached a place of quiet and still reflection. A time to recall the past and prepare for the future and ultimately decide what I’m leaving behind.  Words or acti...

My dad turned 80 in July. I didn’t really grasp his age until the moment we all shouted “surprise” ! I understood 80 was coming, I had been planning his party for 6 months. But knowing and processing are two different things. My dad’s my hero. He’s kind and caring, forgiving and generous, compassionate, loving and forgiving. Plus he always has a bit of mischief in his eyes along with a contagious laugh hiding behind his smile. My dad’s humor is wicked and his stories, well, they’re hysterical. My dad can be humble and stubborn at the same time. Don’t get me wrong. He’s as human as they come. Dad gets grumpy sometimes, just like and gets stuck in his ways once and awhile. He’s not perfect, but he’s a good, honest man. There isn’t anything he wouldn’t sacrifice for his family.  When I was little, time didn’t seem like a foe. I was a child. In my little mind I had no doubt my dad would always catch me. But time waits for no one. So, when 80 came and went I pretty much tripped over my ...

  There are times in life when nothing goes right. I mean absolutely nothing! For one reason or another everything is out of sync. We might know why, or none of it makes sense at all.  Confusion usually follows. Sadness and depression typically creep in at some point. Anxiety is a given and anger eventually makes its rounds too. So, what comes next? How do we turn things right side up once they’ve flipped upside down?  I have no idea, to be perfectly honest with you.. There’s no magic answer or trick to it. Sometimes you’ve just gotta go through hell and keep going till you reach the other side. It’s not a simple answer. It's simply the truth.   Why do I say this? Well, because I’ve spent a lot of time there myself recently. Let me just say it now, it's not fun. Nothing about being out of sync is amusing or a beer and skittles moment. It's downright miserable and uncomfortable really. When life gets all knotted up and the worms are out of the can, things can get...

  Sometimes life goes sideways. You can fight it and struggle with it. You can even scuffle with the pain and stress all you want. But the bottom line is you eventually have to stop grappling your demons and start sorting out the actual root of the trouble. Problems don’t just go away on their own. Toil and trouble doesn't just disappear because we want them to. Obstacles don't miraculously disappear by hiding from or ignoring strife or conflict. Our mix-ups and setbacks only get bigger, uglier, more intense and hostile the longer we brush them aside. It's like a gremlin, add water, and another one pops up. Then another and another one. Before long, your one gremlin has become as army of it's own. That’s the thing about discord, especially among family. The longer it continues, the more hostility and division it creates.  Prolonged quarreling, squabbling and engaging in assumptions only leads to more confusion and misunderstandings. Hence the gremlin effect.  Now, I’m ...

  “Your mistakes don’t define your character. It’s what you choose to do after you have made the mistake that makes all the difference.” ~ Dave Williamson If my life was a montage in a film, you’d probably be surprised by the bloopers reel. And when I say bloopers, I mean gigantic, enormous, colossal epic fails. My life is full of them. Quite regularly too. I’m an ordinary, everyday run of the mill, clumsy, muck it up, fish out of water. If there’s a way to mess it up, I’ll find it. Kinda like those Pinterest fails. Yep, that’s me. I start out with good intentions and suddenly the whole thing goes sideways before I know what’s happened.  So, let's get this out in the open right away. I’m about as flawed as they come. I don't have any superpowers. Well, that is unless you’re counting my ability to put my foot in my mouth or trip over my own feet. Then I have some rather amazing, dynamic and extremely high-powered capabilities.  Not that my whole life is amuck, all the time...

Life is full of change. Just like an equinox or solstice we move through seasons of our lives too. Days, weeks, months and finally years fade away. We grow, although painfully sometimes. We love, and we give, take away, grieve and learn even if it’s the hard way.  Our trees bloom, flowers blossom and our fruit ripens. And then suddenly it happens. Branches crack and split and fall off. Leaves no longer return and we understand. Our youth is declining and we’re getting on in years.  Maybe we have regrets, and maybe we wish we could change parts of our story. Prune a little better here and water a bit more over there. But as we get up in years, there's a realization that we can’t go back. We can only move forward. As time passes and seasons change our memories begin to fade. The faces we once knew disappear. Our minds slow but our hearts still hold on. Summer is a distant memory. Still warm and bright but clearly a hazy memory at best. Spring slipped away too quickly. O ur famil...

  “There are moments in our lives where we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days.” ~Unknown  Life can change in an instant. One single decision, on any given day, in one direction or another, at just one solitary crossroad can change everything. And I mean everything!  The decisions we make in these moments can rewrite our history...erase and erode truth and reality. Every memory, every moment and every possibility for the rest of our lives can be gone in a split second if we’re not careful.  You can lose it all in just the blink of an eye. Your home, health, job, and yes, even your family.  And if you think it takes a lot for any of that to happen, you’d be wrong. It doesn’t take much. One tiny break in your foundation can split your whole world apart. Add assumptions, a breakdown in communication, misunderstood intentions, misrepresented sincerity, deafening sile...

  Life is strange. That’s for sure. It’s both beautiful and terrible at the same time. Some days make sense while others are completely mystifying. One day you’re on top of the world and the next you’re buried under 10 feet of rubble. No explanation. No clarification. And absolutely no resolution or solutions in sight. Just dust and debris. Who could have imagined this mess, right?  Or the destruction it brought.  But here you are. Covered in debris. Stuck and pinned down in a heap of ash. If you move one way or the other, bricks fall. If you stay still the whole building collapses. Bottom line is you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Either way loss is inevitable.   Life. It’s complicated.  And loss, well, it’s agonizing.   The problem is once you’re under the rubble, it’s hard to dig your way out. Doesn’t matter how you got there. You’re there. Everything you loved crumbled to the ground. Anger, rage, resentment, and hurt each one flo...

                        Sometimes we put up roadblocks, shutting down all the easy roads to us. I know I've been there a time or two myself. It’s easier to close ourselves off than deal with the noise and commotion around us. It’s not that we’re ignoring the havoc or don’t see the chaos. We simply need silence. I know when life hands me lemons I need to slow down and be still. But mostly I just need time to figure it all out. So, the barriers go up. I steal myself away until I’m ready to make lemonade.  Truthfully, it takes time to get yourself right. To sort it all out and accept where you are. That’s the key though really. Accept then act. None of us should force things. It only leads to more upheaval. Nothing happens overnight. And the art of making a great pitcher of sweet lemony goodness starts out with a bunch of sour lemons.   Hurt and pain don’t just wash away. Happiness just doesn’t show up and...

  Two thousand twenty-two proved to be a tough year for me. I'm sure that can be said for a lot of folks really. Life happens, right? But on the flip side that’s not to say it wasn’t a good year. Or amazing for that matter. Because it was. One of the best truthfully.  We traveled, experienced life outside our box, reconnected with old friends, made long needed improvements to our home, faced our demons and created some pretty amazing memories. So, how was it a hard- pressed, taxing year? Well, life can and is a constant contradiction. Am I right? I mean life is basically a balancing act between Ying and Yang. And for me 2022 was both fantastic and formidable.    Life is like that though. One day we’re on top of the world and the next we’re barely hanging on. From finances to health life can throw a party or a punch. One year you’re healthy, the next your body is failing. Yesterday you were sitting pretty, and today you’re on an operating table with a knife literally ...

    “No one tells you the hardest part of being a parent is when your kids grow up.” ~Unknown    Most of my adult life I’ve been a mom. In fact, for over 2 decades my whole identity has been and was wrapped up in one word. Mom. I knew no other name, job or calling. I was a mom, through and through. So, what happens when your children leave the nest? Or worse, become estranged.  How do you cope? There’s no map to navigate. And believe me, the host and array of emotions it brings is life altering. When you’re facing the sudden loss of your child, how do you keep your head above water or stop yourself from drowning in the deep end?     Truthfully, I have no idea. I wish I did. If the nest is emptied naturally, it’s bittersweet. If not, it’s devastating. As parents you wait your whole life for your children to spread their wings. You love, nurture and praise them. Build them up. Pray for them. Provide, sacrifice, and yes, you fail them just as many ti...