Brave Heart, Brave Soul. She who is brave is free.

  I’m an optimist. Always have been, and always will be. It’s just who I am. I like to see the good in people and situations. I try to look past the negative. Not that I don't have moments of doubt and skepticism or hesitation. I do. I’m a realist too. I understand that not everything is going to come up roses. However, just because I have moments of confusion or uncertainty doesn’t mean I lose hope. I always have hope.  Some folks ask how I keep a smile on my face, especially when I’m at my lowest. I’ll be real with you here. I may be an optimist, but I’ve learned how to hide my pain and smile through it. Sometimes it’s easier to smile rather than explain. Chronic illness has taken a lot from me. Especially in the past 3 years. Surgeries, loss and grief have taken their toll. Estrangement has broken me. And yes, I feel every pin and needle prick drawing more and more energy from me every day. Still, I smile. Why? Because I have hope that whatever the outcome, I’ll find peace ...

I won't make this long today. I am short on words this morning, kinda nervous but I wanted to give my love to everyone. I am getting ready to leave for my breast biopsies. I go in around noon so hopefully I will be home by 4 or 5 PM maybe sooner. My boys are still asleep. No school for them today. They are enjoying the break. Today is the day! Scary, hopeful, nervous, sword drawn... I wish this wasn't happening, but it is. Period. So while Johnny and I head to the hospital, the boys are going to spend some time with family and friends. My mom is going to stay at home with the boys this morning, my dad is at work, Morgen is taking the boys this afternoon and Johnny has taken the day off to be with me. My parents 40th wedding anniversary party is next weekend. I have been planning this for a while. Family is coming in and so are old friends. I will have news by mid week, but I don't want "cancer" to overshadow their celebration. So this is the deal: If these tests ...