Brave Heart, Brave Soul. She who is brave is free.

Today is Wednesday. Just a typical day around here. You know how it goes? Let's see... get up, get the family fed and out the door, clean up, dress myself at some point, have my IVIG infusion, wake Micah up and feed him, make sure he is dressed for his home bound teacher, pick up Joshua from school, get homework done, answer emails, take a call or two from the school, come up for air and breath, then start on dinner and sit down to watch a movie with the family. OK stop to breath again then clean up the end of the day mess, shower, and get into bed. Whew! OK now I have to remember nothing to eat or drink after midnight which is about the time I will get into bed and be back up by 4:30 AM and out the door for surgery at the hospital! I didn't tell you? Opps, I am really sorry. Where has the time gone? I have meant to sit down all week and fill y'll in. Life has just been very stressful lately. You know the typical stuff that has caused my hair to literally fall out? Really,

If losing a breast seems like a nightmare, well the process of gaining it back is just plain hilarious. Seriously when I first lost my breast to this cancer I was in shock. I was young, full of vitality and plenty of cleavage! I wasn't Ms. Hottie or anything like that but I was confident in my very own over flowing feminine boobie cleavage. Yep, that's right I said it, boobie cleavage. Life was really good, then I inadvertently bought a ticket aboard the uniboob express. Let me tell you the path my life took afterwards changed forever. I have been buckled in tight with my nails dug into the upholstery ever since. Three years after losing my breast I have not fully completed the process of re- building my breast. I have the makings of a nice, new, firm, happy breast yes, but not all the bright shiny parts just yet. So to say this train is overdue is an understatement. I have been down this road, taken more detours than I would like to admit and tried my best to figure out which

This morning I am sitting here watching my babies sleep. Of course they would argue this point saying they are no longer babies anymore. But to me they will always be my babies no matter where or how far life takes them. It amazes me how many detours and sudden turns life takes along the way. I always knew I would be a mother even when the doctors told me no, wanted me to have a hysterectomy at age twenty- one. I was stubborn and I said no. I was going to carry and deliver the boys God had already told me I would bare. Their names were engraved upon my heart even as I was just a child myself. I did not know when nor had I seen their faces in any dreams , but I knew deep within my heart who they were and who they would be. I struggled as a child , as a teen and continued to battle medical issues as an adult. I was in and out of the hospital more times than I can count. I dealt with type 1 diabetes at the age of eight, blood clots at sixteen, cervical (pre) cancer at twenty-one, bells p

As a mother I have often paused to think about the imprint this journey is leaving upon my children. I have wondered many times if the emotional bruises will ever go away... if the fear, the worry and the pain will ever be just a memory? I sometimes sit back and mentally journey back to the beginning and see how far we have come. I see my boys little faces full of sadness and hope, sometimes both at the same time. I see their tears, hear their fears and know their pain, but then I can see the changes begin, I see the joy on their faces and the laughter in their voices.Take all the misery for what it is but there is still more to this journey than those dreadful things. As I move forward through time, past many of our twists and turns, down many detours and through many shattered dreams what do I see you may ask? I see life emerging with hope, strength and determination. Together, as a family, we have stood our ground, taken back this life, changed as it may be, and withstood the chall