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Showing posts from February, 2009

Our Lives...

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If we stop, we can hear the seconds passing us by...one by one they tick away. .. Just this past weekend we celebrated my parents 40Th wedding anniversary. It was beautiful as it was celebratory. Still I felt as if I were hurrying around so much at times I didn't get to sit and breathe. I felt guilty, as if I were not spending enough time with our guests. Most celebrations are like this though. How many times do we plan a celebration and actually take it all in, see everyone? Usually after all the crowds have gone home, the decorations have been put away and the food is cleared do we finally breathe. Do we not live our lives just like this? Hurrying around, planning, and tidying up our days? We can be merciless in our attempt to get things right, perfect in every way. But then something happens, changes our plan leaving us with the option to fall to pieces or to laugh. It kinda reminds me of my own wedding to my husband Johnny. We were married in April and planned an outside ceremo

Put Your Shoes On and Let's Go Dancing!

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Are you sitting down, again that is? Well then get up on your feet, and stay put. We can all go dancing in the streets! I mean it this time! Whew Wee! I am dressed up and ready to go. My results show nothing to worry about. Both of them. No cancer, no surgery, no chemo, just follow ups. I can live with that for sure. Now, I do not know what she wants to do as follow ups or as far as watching what is there. I will find that out next week. I see her on March 6Th. I will have a better idea of how she plans to keep on eye on things then, but I am sure all will continue to be well. I am still in remission. I totally feel like celebrating! I have no other way to explain how I truly feel except to say I feel like a new woman. So let's break out the champagne, turn up the music, start celebrating and dance on top of the tables this time! Thank you all for your prayers, encouragement and support. I couldn't have made it through this long without them! Christina

Waiting...

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I am up late tonight. I cannot sleep. Our home is tense as we wait for the news... good or bad. Johnny is scared, though he will not admit it. The boys sleep is restless and still we wait. Though it has only been six days it feels like I have been waiting for an eternity already. Every time the phone rings, either the home or cell, I jump. Is this the call? What will she say? How will I react? Will I jump up and down with good news or be shaken with the bad? Who do I call first? What do I say? Better yet how do I say it? I truly do not know how I will respond yet though I have tried to play the scene out in my mind a thousand times over. Still, good or bad an answer is most welcome right now. The knowing of what is ahead, to be able to wrap my head around what is to come or is not to come will be a welcome relief. The heaviness of this waiting is almost unbearably painful as it is eerie. I feel as if I am just waiting here in the shadows watching the storm roll in. The only way I can

This Time's A Charm

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I began reading "This Time's A Charm" by Donald A. Wilhem soon after receiving my signed copy from the author. I was not sure what to expect ...hope, inspiration, or a one of a kind turbulent ride? What I did find was a journey of incredible detail through the eyes of a four time cancer survivor. I laughed many times, and cringed a time or two. But by the book's end I understood more than I ever imagined about living life with lymphoma. Don's back cover humor completely says it all: " WARNING- STEEP BLUFF, 450 Foot Drop To Lake Michigan. Return climb is extremely exhausting. DO NOT RUN. DO NOT THROW ROCKS." First let me say this is not your average hope and inspiration book. Reading Don's story I felt as if I were indeed surviving boot camp... grateful for the experience, thankful for the insight and very aware by the time I was through reading every survivor's dance (with the beast) affects each of us differently. Simply put, we have our own b

Here I Go Again...

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I won't make this long today. I am short on words this morning, kinda nervous but I wanted to give my love to everyone. I am getting ready to leave for my breast biopsies. I go in around noon so hopefully I will be home by 4 or 5 PM maybe sooner. My boys are still asleep. No school for them today. They are enjoying the break. Today is the day! Scary, hopeful, nervous, sword drawn... I wish this wasn't happening, but it is. Period. So while Johnny and I head to the hospital, the boys are going to spend some time with family and friends. My mom is going to stay at home with the boys this morning, my dad is at work, Morgen is taking the boys this afternoon and Johnny has taken the day off to be with me. My parents 40th wedding anniversary party is next weekend. I have been planning this for a while. Family is coming in and so are old friends. I will have news by mid week, but I don't want "cancer" to overshadow their celebration. So this is the deal: If these tests

Dancing Like A Court Jester

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Two little words with a big punch…. Breast Cancer. Does this sound all too familiar? Crazy, Insane, Out of control… Do you feel cancer has taken control of your whole life? Well then get on board! This car is heading down the track. Seriously I don’t know about you, but my life has jumped ship onto a speeding horse made of steel. I seem strapped in with no place to go but around and around this race track. Hit the brakes? Sure thing Captain Obvious. I would love to, but there is this tiny little problem… the brake lines seem to have been cut!!! So here I am with no breaks and an unattached steering wheel, could it get any better? Well, dog gone it, I see the culprit now skipping around the pit. How can she keep doing this? How does this monster keep getting past my security or alarms? Really, must she be so jubilant about it (cancer that is?) Ruthless is more the word. She’s just sneaking off dressed as part of the pit crew and all of this is just good fun. Maddening, isn’t it? Here I

Opps, I Did It Again!

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OK, I am a klutz just like my dad, bless his heart. I am his daughter, carbon copy and all! If you know my dad then you know exactly where I am coming from. No one can forget the time he dropped pizza on Grandmom's brand new carpet just after he and my Mom started dating. After the whole pizza experience, he ate every meal in the kitchen, lol! Plain and simply put I am a klutz and a seriously major one at that. Always have been. You know the kind of person who walks into a book shelf right in front of her? Well, that's me! Alright, is the peanut gallery ready? Go ahead, let it out... giggle and ask me. What did I do this time? Ready? Here goes, I broke my rib trying to clean the house. Yep you heard me right. I just had to get the one little dust spot, in the one out of reach corner where no one but I could see it (well, maybe I'm like my mom here). Did I stop to think about the end result? Sure I did... the dust would be gone! I was not just stretching to get the dust, no,

Biopsies Scheduled

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I just wanted ya'll to know that both my biopsies have been scheduled. They called me last week and set things up for of all days, Friday February 13th, lol. The doctor/radiologist said on Tuesday she was concerned because one looked just like the first one they found in 2006 (clustered calcification's) and the other larger one (closer to the lymph nods) was jagged. I'm not happy about all this, but I'm alright. I am confident, scared, and slapped silly all at once. If this is cancer, then it is a new one, not the same. (I'm guessing here. It makes me feel better to think of it in that light.) My chances seem really good. Beat it once,beat it twice right? Yep. that's my story and I'm sticking to it. My week is insane. I have IVIG on Monday, a doctors' appointment on both Tuesday and Wednesday, a lump extraction and biopsy ( my head again) on Thursday and then my breast biopsies on Friday. Plus the boys are off from school both Friday and Monday and Mica

She Wants My Shoes!

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Just wanted to give everyone a heads up.I had both my diagnostic mamo and ultrasound today, plus both my X-Rays.Well it was all very interesting to say the least.I had everything done at the Memorial Herman Memorial City Breast Center.It is truly a beautiful center. I have to say the folks there are very kind and efficient. Once the X-rays where done I was brought back and given a very comfortable warm robe, and then called back to where I would have my mamo.I spent some time in there and then was taken back for my ultrasound.OK here is where things get a bit off track from the yellow brick road.I was happy go lucky skipping down the lane, up until the wicked witch appeared. Now don't get me wrong, no one at the center is wicked, not by any means! Truth be told is just this darned beast of mine! She just popped up out of no where like a green poof of smoke! Suddenly she was just cackling and staring me right in the eyes! OK ready? Here we go....First the good news...My left breast