Brave Heart, Brave Soul. She who is brave is free.

  “Grief is a nasty game of feeling the weakest you have ever felt and morphing into the strongest person you will need to become.” ~ Windgate Lane    Grief. One word with a powerful punch. It knocks us down. Lays us flat out on the ground. Then turns around and does it all over again. The thing about grief is it’s not something we ever see coming. Grief is a living, breathing being. She just shows up one day and makes herself at home. Most of us think grief only comes with death. But that’s just not the case.  She visits every day. The difference is some days we simply ignore her sitting at the table. And the other days she boldly walks through the front door expecting a glass of tea sweetened with our tears.     Personally, I’ve found grief to be bittersweet. She’s complicated. A lot like we are. Grief is sadness, pain, fear, anger and joy all wrapped up in one package. Grief can make us feel weak, inadequate and fragile but that’s not her goal. Not ...

“Do not think you can be brave with your life and your work and never disappoint anyone. It doesn’t work that way.” ~Brene Brown     I've learned a few things in life. Well, let me take that back. I’ve learned a whole heck of a lot of things, good and bad. And all of it came with grief, pain, and a decent side of loss and disappointment. That’s life though, right? I mean we’re all here on this planet together. We all know, right? Pretty much I’ve found nothing turns out the way you thought it would. Absolutely nothing at all!    Abraham Hicks said, “People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.” Truth? He’s unquestionably right. Although I’d also add, people will blame you for their disappointments too. It is what it is. Well sort of. See, the biggest lesson in life isn’t grief, loss or even disappointment. Though those life lessons all come with some sort of grit and a good wallop, dollop or punch to the face of d...

“Running away from your problems is a race you’ll never win.” ~ Unknown We’ve all heard the story of the prodigal son. He’s notorious, right? He left home, packed his bag, took what was owed him, said adios to his family, turned his back and set off to see the world and live big. He was his own man, ready to do his own thang. You know how it is when you’re young. Our protagonist wanted nothing more than to live high on the hog, party, mingle with the masses and make a name for himself. OK. I know it’s a bit of a cliché, but I can’t help but think of Smash Mouth here. I’m envisioning our wayward son pulling an “All Star” move with his finger and thumb in the shape of an L on his forehead. I mean come on. Let’s be honest. On the way out the door he pretty much flipped off his family and disappeared. In the bigger picture, we can see what he can’t. Youth, money and good times don’t last. In fact, at some point we lose all three in our lifetime. You know this and so do I, b...

"I am learning everyday to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be, to inspire me and not terrify me." ` Mind Set on Greatness Have you seen the car ad where the guy's life GPS just keeps recalculating? Personally this ad, strikes a cord with me. Maybe it's because my life continually feels like it's constantly changing, adjusting, modifying itself and ultimately recalculating my path. This ad gets it right. Sometimes life takes a sudden, and very dramatically different turn from what we originally had planned. Truthfully my personal internal GPS has driven me all over the map through the years. I set off in life with a plan of my own but not everything lines up as perfectly as we want it to. "Life is funny isn't it? Just  when you think you've got it all figured out , just when you finally begin to plan something, get excited about it and feel like you know the direction you're heading in, the paths change, the signs c...

"Trust that an ending is followed by a beginning." ~ Unknown Ya it sucks, but keep calm. It's not the end of the world! How many times have you heard that one? But honestly isn't it some pretty good advice? If we react to everything life topples down on us, then we'd never get out from under anything. We'd always be digging ourselves out of a mess or running around like Chicken Little, warning the sky is falling continually. Now that said, life can get out of hand and absolutely feel like the world is ending. Life just has this way of crashing down suddenly, without notice and sending you your very own dancing Chicken Little. It's not the fear inside us that messes us up but what we do with Mr. Little's echo , "the sky is falling." It's our own version of the chicken dance which ultimately defines each and every particular chapter in our story. I think we tend to forget we have a choice in how we respond and react to adversity ...

"The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second greatest is being happy with what you find." ` Anonymous I was raised by an amazing, humble, selfless woman. A woman of grace, beauty and strength. My Mom, she's a giving woman, forgiving and generous. A modern day Ruth to be honest. What is a mondern a day Ruth you ask, well it's best said like this, "A "Ruth" is a woman who has experienced great loss and pain - yet has remained loyal and faithful no matter what. She has found her strength in God." ( A Modern Day Ruth)  That's my mom, living through loss, pain  and still finding strength and joy in her faith. My Mom has always had a tender heart, and in that she's felt things deeper, with more emotion than many of us do. When she's hurt, her heart doesn't just break, it shatters. Growing up the only child of a woman who's heart had been broken long before I was born, it was painful through the y...

“To be honest, I’m just winging it. You know…life, motherhood, my eyeliner, pretty much everything.” Yep that’s the truth of it isn’t it? And honestly it's pretty much life in a nut shell. I don’t know about you but I failed to get my hands on a how to book when I entered this world some 43 years ago. And I’m pretty sure I’m not going to find one anytime soon either. So yes, I’m winging it.  Seriously, have you ever had one of those days when you just walk in the door, drop your purse on the table, pull up a chair, sit down and just say, ‘huh’? Yep those days seem a little too familiar as of late. Not that anything is wrong exactly; nothing is bad or not going well. Everything is peachy keen so to speak, it’s just I have this ache I can’t squash. I’ve literally been waking up, and winging life. Not that it’s a bad thing mind you. I’m pretty much a fly by the seat of your pants kind of girl anyway. But sometimes you’ve got to ground yourself. Lately, that hasn’t been as...

“You were my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye. ~anonymous Grief is a strange thing. It affects all of us very differently. Truthfully, we all process our losses in our own times and our own way. Some of us cry until we can’t breathe while others seem distant. Losing a pet is much the same. For many of us when our fur-babies cross over the Rainbow Bridge we experience the same grief as if losing a child.  Something I didn’t fully understand until recently. Our pets become part of us, members of our families.  We care for them, love them, nurture them and grieve for them in the same way we do our own children. So when the time comes to let them go, it’s excruciating. Our sweet little fur-baby Oscar left us unexpectedly for the Rainbow Bridge on October 3, 2016. Even as I try and type this now, I can barely hold back my tears. I honestly find myself still falling apart out of nowhere. Sometimes I even think I hear him prancing into the room, his little ears fla...

“You never know the last time you’ll see a place or a person.”  It’s such a sad but true statement. One we know all too well. Saturday we said goodbye to one of the greatest men I have had the joy of knowing and loving. Perfect, not a chance but legendary, you can bet the farm on it. He was a man of true grit, a transplanted Philadelphian who called Texas home in the last years of his life.  He loved his Phillies, Eagles and of course the Fliers. He supported Breast Cancer and Autism Awareness among so many other causes. Our dear friend was a man of real character, tender hearted though he could be tough at the same time. He was generous, loyal and simply real. A man who worked very hard to live the kind of life he was proud of. This man, our friend not only touched my life but was also a big part of it. He was family even if it wasn’t through blood. Sadly not even 60 years old yet Mike was here and gone way too soon. Mike just had a way of putting you at ease and...

If you’ve been anywhere near the Dowling – Olachia abode lately you’re painfully aware the last 10 days have been exceptionally difficult. I honestly wouldn't even know where to begin a full account if I tried. Let’s just say this, life has been very fast paced and nothing less than an unexpected exit down a high speed turbo express turnpike of the unfathomable. This whole idea of losing not just one but two of the most important people in my life, a week a part, has been absolutely terrifying. The old saying “in a blink of an eye" is resonating loud and clear right now. First, I am beyond thankful for all of our tribe, both our family and extended. I don’t know quite frankly if we’d have any scruples left without those who have rallied, been at our sides and even sat through the nights with us. I am eternally grateful for the love our family has been surrounded with, it’s truly been overwhelming. And if not for my amazing husband, and precious children I may have los...