Brave Heart, Brave Soul. She who is brave is free.

Just wanted to give everyone a heads up on my new port a cath. Some of you may know that for the last 3 weeks I have been experiencing trouble with it. I have had a lot of swelling, bruising and pain. Not to mention I came out of surgery with a brand new cough. The three weeks in a row my nurse could not access it no matter how hard she tried. I saw the surgeon on Wednesday afternoon. He flushed it but did not heparin lock it. Again, that night my port site began to swell and I was in pain again. Then on Friday my nurse came to the house and was able to flush it somewhat and attempted to heparin lock it. Things did not go so well. I was in extreme pain and by the evening my port site had swelled to the size of a lemon. Johnny took me to the ER the next day where the associate foe foed me, and sent me home. Week three began this week. So yesterday my nurse came again and had trouble with the port. She was concerned I had developed a clot and upon calling the docs office the worry began...

Sometimes life takes a turn not on your road map. I can attest to it, over, and over, and over again. At first you set out on what seems to be a beautiful country road. It's a nice quiet ride through the countryside, life seems tranquil and bursting with life. But then you hit your first bumpty, bump, bump and you begin bouncing all over the place while you try controlling your vehicle through a dusty, bumpy off the map road. Before you know what has actually happened you have taken not one, not two but countless detours as you continue twisting and turning down and through this off beat road. When the day started out you would never have expected to be here, down this road right? So by the time you have stopped on the side of the road and changed out an old tire or two, refilled the gas tank and changed the oil you are completely spent. Once you have gotten back in the vehicle and on the road you stop... breath and start your engine and push the gas pedal down as hard as you can...

I just wanted ya'll to know that both my biopsies have been scheduled. They called me last week and set things up for of all days, Friday February 13th, lol. The doctor/radiologist said on Tuesday she was concerned because one looked just like the first one they found in 2006 (clustered calcification's) and the other larger one (closer to the lymph nods) was jagged. I'm not happy about all this, but I'm alright. I am confident, scared, and slapped silly all at once. If this is cancer, then it is a new one, not the same. (I'm guessing here. It makes me feel better to think of it in that light.) My chances seem really good. Beat it once,beat it twice right? Yep. that's my story and I'm sticking to it. My week is insane. I have IVIG on Monday, a doctors' appointment on both Tuesday and Wednesday, a lump extraction and biopsy ( my head again) on Thursday and then my breast biopsies on Friday. Plus the boys are off from school both Friday and Monday and Mica...

Life has been crazy the last two days. I have not been up to my normal speed so I am sorry it has taken me this long to write this entry. I just want to say I am humbled and blessed to be surrounded by so many dear and wonderful friends. I am still recovering from the IVIG on Tuesday. It was much rougher than I expected. My BP sky rocketed for one, then I developed a major headache, followed by fever, followed by throwing up. Finally the nurse knocked me out. That is really saying it lightly! I woke up close to 7 AM the next morning...15 hours later. No joke. So I have been recovering the last couple of days. I am stilling running a low grade fever and I have eaten two meals since Tuesday, But I will say this in spite of it all: I can bend my fingers! Yes I said bend. I can almost make a fist. I am so excited. If this is just after one treatment, what will happen after two? Truth: I hate the process, but if the process will give me some of the pieces back of my life I feel have been t...