Showing posts from December, 2008

Roller Coaster Ride

Can I scream yet? Just once? Alright, I will just let out a loud AH! Ok. Ok, I'm good now, really. I just have to say it for sanity's is unpredictable, crazy and completely off the wall most of the time. This is exactly where I find myself this morning...

Last night I finally slowed down following Christmas .I have been moving full speed ahead since the Monday before, cleaning, shopping, decorating, wrapping and treatments. Finally I have had a few minutes to breath. Last night I was feeling pretty good. My house was tidy as best as can be expected with 2 boys home and a tree sitting in the living room. Diner was cooked, and cleaned up. I had a movie in mind I wanted to watch after I took a nice long shower.

It was after my shower I noticed it. I normally check out my breasts several times a month,making sure there are no new problems, i.e. skin changes, lumps. But this past month has been an exception to the rule. It's Christmas month, li…

Her Legacy...

I was reminded today of the loss of a dear friend. Just the thought of my sister in arms, brings both tears and a smile to my face, both sadness and joy in to my heart. I took pause last week, and again on Christmas day, and yet again today.This year marks the passing of one very dear to us all. She was a beautiful soul, a fighter and courageous to the end. Her name was Kim ,she was and is still my hero.

When I met Kim I was in a low place. Not to say I didn't have hope, I did. But I was lost, wandering in the land of the beast. I had not yet met a fellow survivor along my path. My journey up till that point had been one of solitary struggle. Then she found me, and I wasn't so alone. I had someone to talk to, someone to lean on and to let lean on me. Kim was there shining so brightly you could not help but smile. As soon as I opened my heart to her I had a hand to hold.

I meet Kim in J Land. I came across her blog, and found her to be spunky, witty and ready to take on the beast…

Joshua's Christmas Wish...

Christmas is here. The season is not just around the corner anymore. No, Christmas is in full swing .Homes shimmer with colored lights and streets are beautifully adorned with wreaths of red and green. As for the our home, well we are ready to usher Christmas in. Our tree is decorated , a wreath hangs on our door and the outside lights are burning bright. All our stockings are hung, including the dog's, by the fireplace and Micah's train is steaming strong around the bottom of our tree .We are definitely ready for jolly old St. Nick to arrive and to celebrate the birth of Christ.
As all families do, we have our own traditions. Every year, no matter how old the boys get, we go to the mall and visit with Santa, we bake cookies and drink some hot coco. We take in the sites of Christmas, together, as a family, and sing Happy birthday to Jesus on Christmas Eve. We go out and look for our tree, string lights and let the boys place all their ornaments around the tree. As we count dow…

My Christmas Card To You...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year my dear and cherished friends. you are all a part of my life and my journey. Today, I thank my God for your presence in my life...ChristinaP.S. Be sure to turn down the music player at the bottom of the page and turn on the the music with the slide show. Also be sure if you click to the site to watch it in original view.

Get Out of the Station Wagon!

Two words: Breast Cancer.
Stage: Two. Nodes: Positive. Type: Triple Negative. Plan of Action: Mastectomy followed by chemo. First thought: Dear God. What will my kids do!
Life is so fragile, in moments our lives change and suddenly we realize we have no time to lose.Life is not just changing, life is racing past you. There is no making time up, you must live in every moment, without regret. As each morning comes, as you breath in deeply, as you wake your children you realize each and every day may certainly be your last.
I was 32, in my early 30's when life came to a screeching holt. I was looking in the mirror one day healthy and the next processing news my life could be actually coming to an end. Everything changed, my priorities were reorganized. My boys are everything to me and so I began living as if every minute I had with them was my last. Honestly, it isn't a bad way to live.
Cancer found me in a crazy way, I was blind sided, but the gifts she has given me . Well, they are p…

Reason For Pause

This week we started pulling out all the boxes. You know the ones, filled full of tinsel, snowmen and little villages? Every year I am amazed by how many we seem to have. It's really not that we are gaining more, simply put, I am just getting worse at repacking them up. Still, seeing the lights, the angels and of course jolly old St. Nick gives me reason for pause.

It was this same time three years ago, I found the smallest of lumps. Three years ago I felt my heart pause. Three years ago I felt the fear of cancer slip quietly into my life. Since then I have been beaten up a bit, shoved a time or two, cut and sewn back up but for all the wear and tear I have emerged a survivor in true form. So for me this time of year is a time to reflect and to celebrate. Our home is full of life, joy, laughter and most of all HOPE. We have seen the darkness, felt the pain and with God's grace we have lived to tell the tale so to speak.
Here and now, in this time and in this place I am alive. …

Life's Journey

This time of year brings me back. Most know I was diagnosed with Triple Negative, stage 2, node positive Breast Cancer in 2006. Life changed for not just me, but for my family. I was dumbfounded, taken back as I had my feet knocked right out from under me. How could this happen ? I was so young. My life was still in front of me, how could God take it all from me now? I was scared, hurt and shocked. I became painfully aware my life was not my own nor was time on my side. I was not just looking death in the face, but she and I were eye to eye!

The holidays had just come to a close and it was the beginning of the new year. I found the lump at the start of December 2005. I was concerned as "it" continued to grow through the Christmas holidays. I sat on this turn of events for a while. I didn't want to ruin Christmas for my boys. We had just bought our very first home, Johnny and I. This was our first Christmas in our new home. I wanted the memories to be special, not marred …