Brave Heart, Brave Soul. She who is brave is free.

 “There is no force equal to a woman determined to rise.” ~ W.E.B. DuBois  My whole life people have second guessed me. It’s just the way things are. At this point, I really don’t mind so much anymore. And for what it’s worth I’ve learned to accept it. There’s always one reason or another I’m forgotten or left out. Sometimes there’s not even a rational answer. As for an apology? Who apologies to someone they can’t remember? The truth is, being out of folks' minds isn’t so bad, not really. As far as I’m concerned being clean out of a handful of particular folks' minds isn’t such a bad deal anyway. Besides, “some people will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons.” And as far as I’m concerned, I’m good with that.  But the why? It's a good question. Just don’t ask me why I’m one of those invisible souls. I couldn’t tell you if I tried. I’ve pretty much spent my life disregarded and unappreciated by a good many folks. Overlooked, ignore...

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most beautiful of all. “~ The Emperor- Mulan My childhood is far behind me. Long gone are the days of my youth. I’m a child no more. This is a fact none of us can argue. Can’t change it, go back or recreate the life I was given. I am who I am because of the path God set my feet upon some 45 years ago. There's not a soul reaching back into childhood who could debate my spunk and sass came naturally. A redhead with a face full of freckles from the start, I’ve always been a bit offbeat and quirky. Stubborn, yes, difficult no, and believe me, there’s a difference. I understood the world wanted to shape me into its image. However, I had other plans. The world saw my physical disabilities as restraints. I knew better though. While everything may have been an obstacle, nothing was a limitation. Just as long as I refused to accept society's constraints. You see, deep down those so-called limitations could never truly hold me back....

“Strength grows in the moments when you think you can’t go on but you keep going anyway.” ~Anonymous In this last post for October, I just want to say how humbled I am to share my thoughts, my stories and my life with you. This blog started out as a means to cope, to deal with cancer and to fight back. Little did I know back then not only would I survive breast cancer but I’d also develop a voice of my own along the way. In finding my voice and in battling the big C, I’ve come to understand the deeper meaning in Marianne Williamson’s words, “Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor.” My knees did indeed hit the floor but today, October 31, 2016, some 10 years since cancer came for me I have emerged stronger. I sit here in awe, blessed and grateful to be able to call myself a SURVIVOR. Ten years ago this past December I found a lump in my...

Stepping back and looking at my life, the story most woven into my soul are the imprints of my children.   Once with tiny feet, and small hands inside mine, now they wrap theirs around my own aging hands protectively, walking beside me strong and tall, towering over my small frame these days. My boys, almost 18 and 15, are becoming more like men every day, no longer babies anymore, but grown, independent young men, living side by side with Johnny and me as equals. When I say life has been one big, at times overwhelming test of faith and bravery for these two, it’s no joke. I’m struggling to even find the words to begin to express the hurdles in a nutshell in which life has thrown their way. Preschool brought the near loss of their Nana, due to heart issues, who is one of the most incredible forces of unconditional love and spiritual influence in their lives. In grade school life handed them the fear of losing their mother to breast cancer followed by the diagnosis of prost...

Sometimes life just goes off course, and I don’t mean by a little bit. No, I mean the kind of day when you land in the under construction zone, skid into the ditch, have a blown tire because you failed to see the curb or take the wrong exit all because you missed yours three signs back kind of bad day. Not a flat tire, take a U-turn, get back on the highway kind of day, nope I mean, a total collision, ejection, skidding on the pavement, followed by your gas tank exploding kind of day. These are the kind of days, maybe even months when you know you have been completely thrown off course, your break lines cut, careening full throttle towards a brick wall. These are the times you smack your head with both hands because you have no control of your approaching and seemingly impending doomed future. This wall of distress, doubt and dread seems impossible to get around, without an escape route anywhere in sight, and all we can do is watch the agony and suffering continue to push full speed...

Perception is a funny thing, think of it like a two way mirror. What we see ourselves, how we view ourselves, can be so different from what others perceive on the other side of the glass. Sometimes we really do need a new, different perspective; while other times we actually clearly see what is standing in our way.  Some folks in our lives may see us as defeated, finding discouragement in the hardships we face while still others may see the spark inside our lives thrusting us forward, overcoming the struggles ready to devour our lives. I recently had a conversation with a friend, a dear friend with a whole new, completely different perspective on my own battle with breast cancer and the aftermath which has followed. Now I could have jumped back, indignant, offended, but the truth is his perspective is valid, but not the complete picture, not in how he views my battle through those particular glasses perched on his nose. The truth is "this cancer" has taken over my life, he’s...