Brave Heart, Brave Soul. She who is brave is free.

  Writing has been a large part of my journey. It's brought joy, happiness and healing. But all journeys come to an end. For me, the time for words is gone and the time for living in the moment is here.  Each of our individual journeys tells a story. Stories weaved from our experiences. You could call it a collective of our imperfections, deficiencies, success and triumphs. Our familiarity and shared circumstances, adventures and encounters connect us. And for the last 18 years I've shared many of mine here. Some good, a few bad and many in between. Each has given me the ability to work through my demons, shortcomings, fears and uneasiness. Every entry has led to this one…my last. Now, don’t get me wrong. It's not that I don't have more stories to tell or experiences to learn from. Indeed, I do. I've simply reached a place of quiet and still reflection. A time to recall the past and prepare for the future and ultimately decide what I’m leaving behind.  Words or acti...

“Half time goes by, suddenly you're wise. Another blink of an eye, 67 is gone. The sun is getting high. We’re moving on.”  ~100 Years/ Five For Fighting  From the moment we’re born each of us is aging. Every minute we’re breathing we’re getting older. One day closer to moving on, right? Now, most of us don’t stop and think about getting old. At least not while we’re young anyway. As we slow down and the double digits pile up, getting older becomes more of a reality than a possibility one day.  As children we rarely think about our parents' age. Or the fact that they might not be there one day. We think they'll live forever. They’re rocks. Always there. Steadfast, never wavering. Our parents are the steady force behind us. Pushing us forward. Believing in our dreams. Building us up. Encouraging us and always proud of who we are becoming. They give us our names. As children they tell us stories and sing to us when we're scared. Tuck us in at night. Turn the night light on...

“The hardest thing is the last goodbye, especially if you didn’t know it really was the last one.”  ~ Unknown   Goodbyes aren’t easy.  And they never really say it all do they? Goodbyes are just messy. At their worst they leave us abandoned with no room for understanding, second chances, forgiveness, or reconciliation. At their best, goodbyes leave us feeling misplaced and lost.    Let’s be real. Doesn’t matter how many times we say them, nothing about a goodbye is painless. Absolutely nothing. Goodbyes hurt. They sting. Most of them are full of sorrow, anguish, and heartache. And if it's a final goodbye, well, it can take our breath away, can't it? Especially if it comes unexpectedly or abruptly.    Death is the final goodbye. And he’s never a welcome friend. But he doesn’t care. He comes for the young and old alike. Death moves on his time, not ours. Yet somehow, we’re always shocked by his presence and angry with his lack of notice. We always want m...

“And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her heart.” ~ J.R.R Tolkien     You wanna know the truth? I'm a messy kind of person. Not in how I keep house or anything like that. No, my heart is messy. Let's just be real. My life’s messy, like really messy. Sure, I have an untamable spirit, but it can be a curse too. I never quite know when to stop, when to take a breath or simply wave the white flag. I’m forever the optimist, sprinting full speed ahead, leading the charge. And if you’re wondering, my thoughts can be kinda reckless at times too. I teeter on the verge of giving up before throwing myself all into the fight.     Messy can be good though but it can also be unsettling at the same time. Mostly, I’ve found messy means you’re growing. Messy is where life happens. It’s where memories are made, where life gets challenging, and scary. Seriously like ‘The Haunting of Hill House’ kind of hair-r...

  “I will see you in Valhalla. I am a warrior. I will always be. For when my time comes, I will not beg for more time to pass. We are all fated to die on a certain day. I know there is no bravery without fear. Live for each moment as if it were your last. When I leave this world, I will smile. For there are many things for us to discover on the other side of the shield wall...” ` Lagertha    In 40 years of living with chronic illness I’ve watched my body slowly and then quickly fail. I’ve seen my vision fade, my heart weakens, my lungs stall, and my kidneys live day to day on the brink. I could go on and on, spill the beans on how my body has given up the ghost but what’s the point? We all eventually decay. The cost of living is dying. In the end no matter who we are or what kind of life we’ve lived; Death will not be denied her toll.     Dark, I know but Death comes for each of us, sooner or later. She is impossible to avoid or keep at arm's length forever...

  “When you finally go back to your old house, you’ll find it isn’t the old house you miss, but the love that filled it.” ~ Unknown    This house is my home. It’s small. But I’ve never needed more than I have. She’s a good house. Filled with love and warm, cozy memories. Like many homes her age, she’s a bit weathered. She’s seen more than a few tragedies. Mopping the floors with her tears, this house has in turn filled each nook and cranny with hope. Sure, this house is slightly discolored, her paint’s chipped around the edges and if you look closely, you’ll see where she’s peeling. She’s patched up here and there, and she’s missing a tile or two somewhere I’d imagine. But while she’s a bit tattered, her foundation is still strong, and steady. She’s really quite marvelous in the morning, so quiet and still. I love how the sun shines through her windows, filling every room with warm, soft beams of light. And oh, what a sight she is when the sun goes down. Even aged and mel...

“Cause you never think that the last time is the last time. You think there will be more. You think you have forever. But you don’t.” ~ Unknown They say, “go where you feel most alive.” I say find your happy place, wherever that may be and go there often. And when you find it be content, untroubled, light-hearted and cheerful. Be all there in every moment...fully and completely. Don’t overthink or over plan. Just be part of the moment and make it yours. Why? Well truthfully we never know when a moment will be our last...when we’ll see a person or a place for the very last and final time. We live and we die. Nothing beyond is guaranteed. Everything in between is a gift. No one really knows when our time will be up, but we do know it will be... someday. And this is why it’s extremely important we find time for the people and places we love. Being in our happy place and better yet sharing it with our family and friends has the ability to truly fill us with joy and happiness. So ...

“I do not understand this mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” ~ Anne Lamott I don’t know about you but I’m fairly tickled pink Jesus has never said to me, “This is the last straw missy. The absolute last time I’m going to put you back together again Christie.” I can assure you if anyone is going to test His patience it’s me. I have always had a need to learn things on my own, the hard way even. I can be rather stubborn, headstrong and of course strong-willed to boot. No real surprise there, right? I’m a redhead for goodness gracious sake. What do you expect? After all Pippi Longstocking was my role model back in the day. She was a bit of spitfire if I do say so myself. Reminiscing a little bit I remember this one particular day as a little girl that didn’t quite go as planned. I was about 3 or 4 years old and we were living in Germany at the time. I stood outside our military quarters watching all my friends cross the str...