Life Lesson # 454 ~ Valhalla Awaits

 

“I will see you in Valhalla. I am a warrior. I will always be. For when my time comes, I will not beg for more time to pass. We are all fated to die on a certain day. I know there is no bravery without fear. Live for each moment as if it were your last. When I leave this world, I will smile. For there are many things for us to discover on the other side of the shield wall...” ` Lagertha 

 

In 40 years of living with chronic illness I’ve watched my body slowly and then quickly fail. I’ve seen my vision fade, my heart weakens, my lungs stall, and my kidneys live day to day on the brink. I could go on and on, spill the beans on how my body has given up the ghost but what’s the point? We all eventually decay. The cost of living is dying. In the end no matter who we are or what kind of life we’ve lived; Death will not be denied her toll.  

 

Dark, I know but Death comes for each of us, sooner or later. She is impossible to avoid or keep at arm's length forever. After years of brushing up against her hand, I don’t fear dying anymore. I’m at peace with my life and the path I’ve chosen. I’ll be honest, I’m no way ready to pay her toll yet. But when she comes for me, I won’t be afraid. See, what I’ve come to understand is this. Death is not a curse. Not really. She holds the keys to eternity. And I don’t fear eternity. Death is not our enemy. She’s not necessarily our bestie, or even our ally but she isn’t a foe or adversary either. 

 

Let’s be real. When Death appears, with her face in full view, she can be terrifying, no joke. But you know what, like her or not, she’s part of our journey. We take our final breath in her company. It is her hand we reach for and hold as we pass into the spirit world. For it is she, Death who unlocks the gates between our worlds, ushering us into the halls and fields of immortality. 

 

Now let me be clear. I’m not dying tomorrow. I haven’t settled or accepted defeat. I’m not giving up. I’m a fighter. A shieldmaiden. I won’t be silenced easily. And no, I don’t ever give up the fight. I may not be jumping out of bed every morning. It’s probably more of a roll but I still greet the day with a roar. Let me put it this way. I wasn’t raised a princess; I was raised to face adversity, to swing a sword and build a shield wall. I wasn’t given anything. Nothing in my life has ever come easy. I was born on the battlefield, and I was trained to become a Valkyrie. S.L. Heaton sums it up best. “The strength of my soul was born on the backs of moments that have brought me to my knees.” 

 

What I’ve come to realize and yes, even acknowledge is this. I don’t have to let go anymore; I simply have to let it be. I’m still me, illness or not. Whatever my body decides to do, where it goes or what it becomes, I will adapt. If God allows more pain, distress or even suffering upon my body... my faith, strength and courage will stay the same. Don’t think I won’t ask God why. Lord knows I will. I’m quite an opinionated woman, let’s be honest. But I will always embrace the hard. And when this life is over, I won’t sorrowfully take Death’s hand. No, I will smile and joyfully raise a glass to her and gently whisper” Skol.” After all, Valhalla awaits.  

 

“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” ~Buddha 

 

~Merida Grace