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Showing posts from November, 2008

I Want My Nickel Back!

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Remember what I said about never having a dull moment around the Olachia household? Well, if it weren't for the curve balls thrown our way we wouldn't have any excitement to talk about! So last night the four of us were at home, relaxing after the big family turkey dinner. Life was good.

Then suddenly at 11:44 PM Micah came running in our bedroom, tears streaming down his face, crying. He was panicked, overwhelmed, afraid. The next words came out like a bolt of lightning: "Mom, I swallowed a nickel!" My response was: "You did what?" I called poison control like a crazy woman next. Their response was: "He did what!" Then I called Johnny. His response was : "He did what!" See the pattern here?

My poor baby was terrified. His tears kept coming and his words were like a knife through my heart," Mommy am I going to die?" That was it, I sank like a rock in a very deep river. Johnny was out at the store, so he was driving home like a …

ThanksGiving

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Thanksgiving has always been my favorite time of year A time when family and friends all gather together around the table. Good food, laughter and remembrance, all these things embody what this time of year is about. We give thanks for each other, for the blessings God has bestowed upon us and for the sweet, sweet gift of life.

Thanksgiving 2006 was the hardest for me I think. We really had no family near us so to speak. The few relatives that were within a 10 mile radius, had buried their heads under ground. I remember seeing one of my cousins for the first time since I had lost my hair. My mom had basically bribed her to come see me. Disaster was written all over that operation. I just sat there holding back the tears as she and her mother sat as far away from me as possible. She couldn't even look at me. I was crushed. I left there feeling as if I were some kind of leper, repulsive and unloved. I know deep down this was not their intent, but it was the outcome of their actions. …

Not Just My Story...

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Life is a journey, it does not matter what path you are set on. Life can be joyous, and cruel. Along the path life can bring unexpected pleasures and loss. Grief can come from not just ahead but it can sneak up from behind. Low lying branches can snag your arm. pulling you downwards. the road before each of us can and will be rocky at times no doubt. Yet even in the midst of such pain, weariness and confusion life can offer us bits of strength and hope we never knew where there.

Many times in the midst of our fight with death, fear, illness, our children are overlooked. No we do not over look their care, needs or the love we give their precious souls. What is lost, overlooked sometimes is their might, their core of true inner strength. This is the lesson I was taught this last week.

As I came out of my IVIG treatment, waking after 15 hours of sleep, I realized my children had been kept from me. My heart broken as I saw clouded images of both Joshua and Micah asking to see me and being t…

Recovery and Awards

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Life has been crazy the last two days. I have not been up to my normal speed so I am sorry it has taken me this long to write this entry.

I just want to say I am humbled and blessed to be surrounded by so many dear and wonderful friends. I am still recovering from the IVIG on Tuesday. It was much rougher than I expected. My BP sky rocketed for one, then I developed a major headache, followed by fever, followed by throwing up. Finally the nurse knocked me out. That is really saying it lightly! I woke up close to 7 AM the next morning...15 hours later. No joke.

So I have been recovering the last couple of days. I am stilling running a low grade fever and I have eaten two meals since Tuesday, But I will say this in spite of it all: I can bend my fingers! Yes I said bend. I can almost make a fist. I am so excited. If this is just after one treatment, what will happen after two? Truth: I hate the process, but if the process will give me some of the pieces back of my life I feel have been ta…

Life On the Merry-Go-Round

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Well.... OK I am stumped. Not really sure where to begin, what to say or even really what to do with myself actually. Never a dull moment... that's me! I sometimes feel as if I have been living my life on a merry -go- round. You know the one on the playground we used to spin on as kids? Round and round we would go...



One minute we were perfectly still, ready for the twisting mayhem to begin. Then we were off and spinning out of control. Remember how we would laugh and scream and laugh some more? Remember how much fun it was? So where has all my sense of adventure gone?

As a little girl I had a real sense of imagination. I would build forts, fight off the enemy then have tea with the Queen. I would be a princess, a cowgirl and wonder woman all in one day. Today I would love to liken myself to a female Indiana Jones. You know? Dodging the bullet, swinging across the cliffs out running breast cancer and her consorts.

With that image in my mind today, I must reach as far back as possible…

Mending the Broken Pieces, My Conversation With God...

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Christina---
God, are you there?

God----
Yes child.

Christina---
Have I disappointed you?

God ---
No, not at all child.

Christina---
Are you sure God?

God---
I am sure.




Christina---
Then why has this happened?
Why me?
Why my life and my family?
Why have You allowed this beast to drag me into her den?
To feast upon me, and scar me like she has?
Can't I just stay here, in the darkness... forever?
Can I choose to forget everything?
To just sleep.
To be rid of her scales?
God?
I am really tired.
I do not want to battle this merciless beast.
I do not! I do not! I do not want to!

God---
Christina...breathe.
Stop holding your breathe.
Go on, child just breathe .

Christina---
(Loud exhale)

God---
Ah, doesn't that feel better?
Wake up now.

Christina---
No, I don't want to.

God---
But it's time...
Open your eyes, Christina.

Christina---
I don't think so God.
No, I just don't think I am ready.

God---
Open your eyes Christina.

Christina---
Not yet.

God---
Christina...
Please open your eyes?

Christina---
I told Yo…

A Crazy, Wonderful Mismatch

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As a child my day dreams were filled full of fairy tales,--- princesses, castles, jousting, knights and riding off into the sunset. As a woman, my sights were a bit more realistic when I met my husband. Alright so Johnny isn't my knight in shining armor. Getting the man up on a horse would never quite happen. I think I would actually pay to see that happen!

The two of us are a crazy, wonderful mismatch. Johnny and I met and married in 6 months time. Most of our family and friends thought we would never last. Well, here we are 13 years later. True we have had our troubles, fought our battles, but we have always come out on top together. The bottom line is this: We absolutely love one another! We have known that from the first moment we met. I know what most people think, but for Johnny and I, the old taboo of finding love at first sight was a perfect fit.

Johnny was not just handsome, he was strikingly beautiful. His high cheek bones, brown eyes and cinnamon skin was more than my se…

Wonder Woman, I Am Not!

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As a little girl, I always wanted to be Wonder Woman. What little girl wouldn't want to twirl around transforming into her extraordinary alter ego? Like so many girls my age I dreamed about putting on this super heroes golden tiara and cuffs, red boots, snazzy one piece suit and of course her lasso of truth? The hours I would spend daydreaming, imagining and pretending to be this amazon princess...


My parents still love to tell the story of when I was two years old and how I convinced myself I was indeed Wonder Woman. I climbed up and onto their chest of drawers with a cape (made from a towel) tied around my neck. Apparently in the very early hours before the sun rose they awoke to catch a glimpse of my tiny body projecting off their dresser, flying over their heads and across the bed all while shouting " Wonder Woman!".

After all these years I guess it still comes down to my love of Wonder Woman. I am sure that it comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me as 'Chris…

Letting Go...

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My Joshua is 12 today.


I just have to stop,


and let it sink in....


Unbelievable. Has time flown by so quickly? Where did it all go?

Joshua was just 9 when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. He was in third grade. We had just moved into our first home. I had just thrown him an out of sight Dinosaur party. He was still so young, innocent and untouched by real fear and worry.
This year as Joshua turns 12 he has entered the 6Th grade. We have been in our home for 3 years and his party has no theme. For the most part Joshua is still innocent and young. But unlike before, worry and fear have taken up residence ---even if it is only seasonal.
Indeed, life has changed. For better, for worse? Both I would have to say for I do not believe you can have one with out the other. Life's little lessons have big punches don't they?
Joshua, my precious son, a boy becoming a man ,is kind, good natured, tender hearted and loyal. He has stood by my side through it all. Taken my hand when I least expecte…

Wake Up and Smell the Roses, Chistina!!!

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"When I was a child, ladies and gentleman, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times...I learned very early in life that: "Without a song, the day would never end; without a song, a man ain't got a friend; without a song, the road would never bend -- without a song." So I keep singing my song."”--- Elvis Presley




Life is full of unexpected surprises. Some good and some rotten. Wrapped up any way you want , life is a gift. Each and every day we are given to wake, each day we have to greet the sun and each day we have to hold our loved ones close is a precious gift. Pain, troubles, fear... sure they are all part of the day, but so is the love we share and the joy we hold. Those surprises, both good and bad are the prizes at the end of the day continually making this life worth living. Every morning I get up and face a new day is a reminder of how truly blessed and how very much …

Approval: DENIED.

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Just a peak into my most recent go around with my ever caring, always preventative, in my corner insurance company. Mondays are grand aren't they? Really just what I needed on a dark, dull rainy day.
8:00 A.M.
Breast M.R.I. :
Diagnosis Code: Check.

Criteria:
Breast Cancer: Check.
Silicone Implant: Check.
Breast Pain: Check.
Painful Lump: Check.

Under Review: Check.
Review Complete: Check.
Approval Status: DENIED. (Does not meet criteria.)

Necessary Criteria:
Breast Falling Off: Not yet. ( but soon I imagine.)
STUPID PEOPLE: Check.
Say what? Did I hear you right sir? Big Mr. Insurance man, you did not just ask for an Amen? No, I think we need to talk and by talk I mean maybe what we need is a hallelujah come to Jesus meeting kind of talk! What does B-R-E-A-S-T C-A-N-C-E-R and the word C-O-M-P-L-I-C-AT-I-O-N-S mean to you? Keep my voice down... what about getting my dander up? Click.
Alright I might have over reacted, just a bit anyway. I know I should have been more gracious like the southern wom…

Sign on the Dotted Line Please

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So this week has been well one for the books. Crazy doesn't even begin to describe it. There are definitely times in my life when I feel as if I am a big gummed up ball of mess under the table just waiting for someone to come along and scrape me off! Seriously, that is how I feel right now. Put aside the normal crazy of my life... and you have absurd. But this week has just topped the charts and is seriously one for the books.

Flash back....Breast reconstruction was the way to go. I was all aboard that train. No problems, well that was what I was told, just sign on the dotted line.... Christina D. Olachia. Done. Well in my world of 20/20 I would say CRAZY was written all over that one but did I take note? Oh no, I just signed away, trusted what i was told and went along as typical happy go luck Christina. Why not, after all I had just had my boob whacked off. How could it get any worse? I had been living with an expander for 12 months, how bad could an breast implant be? Worse.

Life…

Living Life One Breast At A Time

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OK, so living life one breasted isn't any woman's first choice, but it can be the best choice. I am not just talking from experience, I am living from it as well.

As I sit here, my computer in front of me, I can look around my house and see evidence of cancers hand. I can see the pain, the fear, the hope and yes even the life that breast cancer has given to me. Was I happy that breast cancer decided to mark me as one of her victims? No, absolutely not. But, I was the one who decided not to be her victim as both time and my life went on in the aftermath.

Breast Cancer. What comes to mind when you here those two words? Loss,pain, breasts, mastectomy, chemo, radiation, fear, worry, possible death, hair loss, change, breast reconstruction, implants? Well all those come to my mind and a few more at least. Breast cancer is about change for the most part. She can cause all kinds of turmoil, yet she can also bring your life together, give you purpose, understanding and a new lease on l…