Letting Go...

My Joshua is 12 today.

I just have to stop,

and let it sink in....

Unbelievable.

Has time flown by so quickly?

Where did it all go?

Joshua was just 9 when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. He was in third grade. We had just moved into our first home. I had just thrown him an out of sight Dinosaur party. He was still so young, innocent and untouched by real fear and worry.

This year as Joshua turns 12 he has entered the 6Th grade. We have been in our home for 3 years and his party has no theme. For the most part Joshua is still innocent and young. But unlike before, worry and fear have taken up residence ---even if it is only seasonal.

Indeed, life has changed. For better, for worse? Both I would have to say for I do not believe you can have one with out the other. Life's little lessons have big punches don't they?

Joshua, my precious son, a boy becoming a man ,is kind, good natured, tender hearted and loyal. He has stood by my side through it all. Taken my hand when I least expected it, wiped away my tears and hugged me tight when I could not stand one more minute of this insanity. My boy is growing into a good man, tender and understanding, well rounded with strength I could have never given him on my own.

I am grateful, and yet somewhat sorrowful as I see him grow. I am loosing my boy no doubt. I worry I have not given him enough care, maybe too much grief and fear along the way. Yet, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I know he is always aware of my unconditional love. I have to believe that when all is said and done Joshua will have that one gift to hold on to through all the years of his life.

Yes, my boy is no longer a child, not quite a man, but forever my child.

Time to let go...

Christina