Life Lesson #470 ~ Growing Older, Moving On

“Half time goes by, suddenly you're wise. Another blink of an eye, 67 is gone. The sun is getting high. We’re moving on.”  ~100 Years/ Five For Fighting 

From the moment we’re born each of us is aging. Every minute we’re breathing we’re getting older. One day closer to moving on, right? Now, most of us don’t stop and think about getting old. At least not while we’re young anyway. As we slow down and the double digits pile up, getting older becomes more of a reality than a possibility one day. 

As children we rarely think about our parents' age. Or the fact that they might not be there one day. We think they'll live forever. They’re rocks. Always there. Steadfast, never wavering. Our parents are the steady force behind us. Pushing us forward. Believing in our dreams. Building us up. Encouraging us and always proud of who we are becoming. They give us our names. As children they tell us stories and sing to us when we're scared. Tuck us in at night. Turn the night light on. Chase the monsters away. Read to us. Feed us. Bath us. Wipe our butts. Clean up after us. Defend us. Play with us. Believe in our imaginations. Every day they believe in us.  

Our parents give. Sacrifice. Go without and do for their children without thinking twice. They wipe away our tears, kiss our boo-boos and listen to our fears. Parents love us unconditionally. Even when we don’t appreciate them. They dig in, holding on to that love even tighter even when we’re ugly and not kind to them. They love us so much they’d die for us. 

This is what being a parent is all about.  

It’s really not until we’re older and have children of our own that we begin to understand. And I say begin, because the process of being a parent is a long one. You’re always learning, growing, adjusting, failing and trying. You don’t get a learning curve or a manual when your baby comes home in your arms. You’re just thrown into the deep end. Mistakes are made. Lessons are learned the hard way mostly. We figure it out pretty quickly that our parents are human. That our expectations may be a bit off and too high. And in time, as we get older ourselves, raising our children, we truly appreciate our parents. We’re suddenly conscious of how much we take them for granted. We’re aware of the hardships, the sacrifices and the love they have given us. We begin to recognize and realize our parents won’t be with us forever.  

That moment came for me last week.  

My dad is nearing 79. My mom is just behind him at 75. In the last year I have watched their health decline as they’ve tired and slowed down. As I’ve gotten older myself, I’ve come to appreciate my mom and dad in ways I couldn't have imagined as a child much less as a young adult. The reality and truth of the matter is I haven’t always seen eye to eye with my folks. I've been mad. Even angry. I’ve had words with and judged them. I’ve been ungrateful, felt entitled and thought I've known more than my parents more times than I can count. But, at the end of the day I love and value my parents. I respect them. I’m grateful for their sacrifices even if I didn’t seem to understand what they were in the moment. I cherish and treasure each moment I have with them.  

Why? Because one day I won’t have them to depend on. I won’t be able to pick up a phone and hear their voices. One day, as we’re all growing older and moving on, the day will come, I have to say goodbye. And that day my friends will be an agonizing, gut-wrenching and heartbreaking day. That day will shake my foundation.  

I say to my parents now. I love you. You’ve taught me to be brave, shown me how to love without expecting anything in return, to forgive, cry, and to laugh at myself. I don’t ever want a day to go by that we don’t speak. I know I will have to live without you one day. I know this because age takes its toll, time passes and life fades away. But that knowing keeps me humble. Keeps our memories, good and bad, alive. I don’t want another day to go by that I take your presence in my life, or your love for granted.  

Love you for always and forever.  

~Merida Grace