Life Lesson #458 ~ This Too Shall Pass

 

“Grief is a nasty game of feeling the weakest you have ever felt and morphing into the strongest person you will need to become.” ~ Windgate Lane 

 

Grief. One word with a powerful punch. It knocks us down. Lays us flat out on the ground. Then turns around and does it all over again. The thing about grief is it’s not something we ever see coming. Grief is a living, breathing being. She just shows up one day and makes herself at home. Most of us think grief only comes with death. But that’s just not the case.  She visits every day. The difference is some days we simply ignore her sitting at the table. And the other days she boldly walks through the front door expecting a glass of tea sweetened with our tears.  

 

Personally, I’ve found grief to be bittersweet. She’s complicated. A lot like we are. Grief is sadness, pain, fear, anger and joy all wrapped up in one package. Grief can make us feel weak, inadequate and fragile but that’s not her goal. Not really. 

 

On the one hand she reminds us of what we’ve lost, stinging us with the pain loss brings. On the other hand, she conjures up and summons all the love and many times, every moment we’d forgotten brought us joy. I think that’s why I love photographs so much. They’re perfect little reminders, a glimpse of times when things may have been tough but also when they were good. That’s the thing about grief. She’s a two-edged sword. She brings pain and joy, simultaneously.  

 

Grief nudges us, jogging our memory, reminding you and I we’re both human, flawed, imperfect; and yes, broken. Every one of us has cracks and dents, but that’s the beauty of grief. She’s transparent. Our shortcomings make us who we are. Grief helps us accept this about ourselves. And while grief can feel like our enemy, she’s really not. See, she tells us like it is. Grief lets us feel sorry for ourselves for a bit, but she doesn’t let us forget. She reminds us to be thankful, not to take life or those we love for granted.  

 

Grief has a soul. She floods us with emotions. She’s the embodiment of everything good and magnificent in our lives; and yet, the complete manifestation of every adversity and each unfortunate predicament we’ve ever faced. Grief is the keeper of our memories. She holds them safe for us until we’re ready, and at times even if we’re not. I heard someone say once, “Some memories never leave your bones. Like salt in the sea, they become part of you. And you carry them.” This is what grief does. We can try and forget all we want. We can deny, pretend they don’t exist and even bury our memories, but they never fully go away. What was good is always good, what was bad can’t be changed. But you can’t erase either. They coexist in unison. 

 

The reality is life can be agonizing. It hurts. Inflicts pain, pierces our hearts and then turns around and scratches the scab right off. Lessons we need and must learn never come easy. Each one comes with a price. Grief ensures this. I can’t tell you any of it is easy. Because it’s not. Letting go of the reigns and trusting God to sort it all out isn’t exactly a cake walk. It’s downright excruciating. Grief can’t be avoided. She’s here to remind us, we’re human after all. Believe me, she slaps us in the face, taking no prisoners. When she’s fierce, she’s brutal, like a battle ram. But when she’s compassionate, she’s forgiving. Grief can tear us open, but she can also transport us to a better place if we let her.  Say what you will about her, but grief is nothing less than life changing.  

 

So, chin up buttercup. Let grief do her thing. Remember. Regardless of what you’re facing right now, hope isn’t dead. Hope is never dead. As hard as it is to face your grief and pain, allow yourself to embrace the knowledge this too shall pass. 

 

“There are losses that rearrange the world. Deaths that change the way you see everything, grief that tears you down. Pain that transports you to an entirely different universe, even while everyone else thinks nothing has really changed.”  ~ Megan Devine 

 

~Merida Grace