Life Lesson #484 ~ The Blooper Reel

 

“Your mistakes don’t define your character. It’s what you choose to do after you have made the mistake that makes all the difference.” ~ Dave Williamson

If my life was a montage in a film, you’d probably be surprised by the bloopers reel. And when I say bloopers, I mean gigantic, enormous, colossal epic fails. My life is full of them. Quite regularly too. I’m an ordinary, everyday run of the mill, clumsy, muck it up, fish out of water. If there’s a way to mess it up, I’ll find it. Kinda like those Pinterest fails. Yep, that’s me. I start out with good intentions and suddenly the whole thing goes sideways before I know what’s happened. 

So, let's get this out in the open right away. I’m about as flawed as they come. I don't have any superpowers. Well, that is unless you’re counting my ability to put my foot in my mouth or trip over my own feet. Then I have some rather amazing, dynamic and extremely high-powered capabilities. 

Not that my whole life is amuck, all the time. It’s not. I have an incredible life, even if it’s a slight train wreck and messy sometimes. If I captured my life in a montage, there’d be amazing moments too, full of laughter and love. Days full of silly memories thrown in there. Sweet, delicate times filled with joy and happiness and a few tears too. And yes, awkward, embarrassing times as well.. But the reality is this is real life for everyone. Life isn't a fairytale, full of fantastic tales or quintessential and blissful or romantic accounts, every moment of every day. Life is full of dilemmas and complications. But it’s also about how we deal with our difficulties and hurdles. Life in a nutshell is a tangled-up mess. You know what though? Despite all the chaos and confusion, life is a beautiful, wonderful tangled-up mess.  

I know this personally. My life hasn’t exactly turned out as planned. I’ve experienced plenty of obstacles, stumbling blocks and hiccups. From health issues to marriage problems to estrangement from those I love. And when you’re in those moments, it feels like no matter how hard you try you fix the problem or get past the barrier. Again, if you took my lifetime and composed different moments together, you’d see the dark side of me too along with a lot of blunders and mistakes. 

So, for a moment let’s imagine my life’s core memories in a movie montage.... 

Childhood birthday parties, hospital stays, packing and moving frequently definitely make the cut.  I can see my dogs Keno and Boots come running into the room with my cats Fluffy, Ginger, Pumpkin and Lady. There’d be breakups and feeling lost and alone. My graduation comes to mind. Starting college, meeting and marrying the love of my life. Becoming a mom is definitely the highlight of this montage. Holding my babies for the first time, watching them grow, learning to walk and graduating themselves. Family meals around the table, vacations and seeing my boys' faces on Christmas morning are my prized memories. These are the moments I hold onto the most. Especially in the darkest sequences of my life.

There’s absolutely a darker side of this montage. We all have them. Mine includes hurt and pain behind the scenes of loss and silence. The feeling of abandonment and havoc as relationships have fallen apart. The worry and anxiety of living with chronic illness is always there. Just as much as my hope fades into the uncertainty and fear of permanent estrangement.  

Life is complicated. Heck, I’m complicated. We all are! But that’s the thing about life...it’s difficult to understand most of the time. And if we’re looking back on our individual life montages we can see the good times and the beautiful, funny moments we’ve shared together. Of course we can also see our bloopers and how we’ve failed ourselves and others. Our bad choices, overthinking and failures are there, for all to see. But if we’re acknowledging our faults and frustrations, then ultimately we’re growing. That’s what life is all about, learning from our blunders and growing in spite of them.  

So, when I’m gone and my life plays like a montage, I hope it includes my best moments but also my mistakes too. When all is said and done I want to be accountable for my shortfalls and muck ups.  More importantly, I hope those I leave behind know how much I love them and recognize the growth it’s taken for my life to bloom. 

 

~Merida Grace