Life Lesson #468 ~ The Rubble

 

Life is strange. That’s for sure. It’s both beautiful and terrible at the same time. Some days make sense while others are completely mystifying. One day you’re on top of the world and the next you’re buried under 10 feet of rubble. No explanation. No clarification. And absolutely no resolution or solutions in sight. Just dust and debris. Who could have imagined this mess, right?  Or the destruction it brought. 

But here you are. Covered in debris. Stuck and pinned down in a heap of ash. If you move one way or the other, bricks fall. If you stay still the whole building collapses. Bottom line is you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Either way loss is inevitable.  

Life. It’s complicated.  And loss, well, it’s agonizing.  

The problem is once you’re under the rubble, it’s hard to dig your way out. Doesn’t matter how you got there. You’re there. Everything you loved crumbled to the ground. Anger, rage, resentment, and hurt each one floods our minds. They dig in. Tearing away at our memory and the accuracy of what just happened. We convince ourselves the only solution is disconnection and detachment. 

And so, we stand in the way of a peaceful resolution, compromise or working together to rebuild a stronger foundation. We’re set. Our thinking isn’t to harm, and yet we do. I get it. Life has just come tumbling down. We’re injured. Dirt and soot are everywhere. Our first instinct is to protect ourselves. And that’s understandable. We need time to work it out.  But if we take our resentment too far it becomes more difficult to understand or forgive.  And if we judge too harshly, we create a whole new set of problems no one recovers from.  

The thing about blame is it comes easy just like responsibility becomes hard. Criticizing is simply convenient. And so, we ignore any liability or accountability. There's no way we had a hand in this destruction or fallout surrounding us, right? It’s just easier to place the blame somewhere else.  Ascribe to the idea we’re completely irreproachable. But good hearts say the wrong things at the worst possible times. We all make mistakes.  It’s inevitable. Just because someone makes an error, doesn’t make them disposable. We surely don’t forget all the things they did right. That's the problem with judgment though. It separates us. We expect grace. But we rarely offer it to those who’ve offended us.  

We’re human. I am. You are. But if we genuinely know love, especially unconditional love, then we’re capable of forgiveness. We’re able to sit down and talk it out. To be heard and to listen. To build boundaries and respect. To take one step at a time to heal, rebuild and genuinely see the growth in those we love.   

The truth is any real change begins with you and me.  When blame ends, the crowds disperse, and restoration begins. But healing can only happen when communication is no longer impaired. C.S. Lewis once said, “You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” 

Maybe we’re not so far apart after all. Maybe there’s a way to meet in the middle. Does one bad chapter mean our story is over? I sure hope not. I’ll leave the light on until you’re ready. 

~ Merida Grace