Life Lesson #484 ~ The Gremlin Effect

 

Sometimes life goes sideways. You can fight it and struggle with it. You can even scuffle with the pain and stress all you want. But the bottom line is you eventually have to stop grappling your demons and start sorting out the actual root of the trouble. Problems don’t just go away on their own. Toil and trouble doesn'tjust disappear because we want them to. Obstacles don't miraculously disappear by hiding from or ignoring strife or conflict. Our mix-ups and setbacks only get bigger, uglier, more intense and hostile the longer we brush them aside. It's like a gremlin, add water, and another one pops up. Then another and another one. Before long, your one gremlin has become as army of it's own.

That’s the thing about discord, especially among family. The longer it continues, the more hostility and division it creates.  Prolonged quarreling, squabbling and engaging in assumptions only leads to more confusion and misunderstandings. Hence the gremlin effect. 

Now, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you I have all the answers. Because I don’t. Not in the slightest. I’m a train wreck of my own making most days. I tend to feed my gremlin after midnight and throw water on him a little too often for comfort. I don’t mean to, but I get reckless and start overthinking. Then KA-Chow! Gremlins everywhere! 

And what do these out-of-control gremlins have to say?  Lots, believe me. When I’m managing more than one cute furry little devil, chaos erupts. Fact: As I’m cleaning up their mess, I feel like Eddie Murphy in the bathroom scene from Daddy Day Care. I mean where do I start? It's overwhelming. But for me, I’m choosing to start here. 

I know I’m imperfect, flawed, broken and damaged. I’m stubborn and hard headed. Many times, I have misunderstood, taken things personally and overreacted. I can and I am wrong a fair amount of the time. I’m not a perfect mom. I’ve made mistakes and I’ll make more. Believe me, plenty if you give me enough time. However, I am a mom who loves her children with all her heart. I’m your mom and I love and miss you very much.  

I may have failed you. I might have stumbled and blundered. I know I have. I’m sure you feel misunderstood. And I’m willing to bet you think I’m out of touch too. But I need you to understand this: nothing was ever on purpose. I never meant to hurt or cause you pain. EVER! I’m sorry if I have. 

Our story doesn’t have to end here. There’s still time to meet halfway and get this gremlin effect under control. I can’t tell you I’ll understand everything right away. But I can promise I will try. I’m willing to find middle ground. I want to listen, to hear and understand you. I LOVE YOU. I always have and I always will. Nothing in this world or beyond can or will ever change that. NOTHING!  

Maybe one day you’ll see this, maybe not. I sure hope you do though. Maybe by then, I hope anyway, you’ll be ready to meet us in the middle and reconcile. Until then I’m still holding out hope you’ll find your way back home eventually and I’ll see your face again.   

~Mom