Life Lesson #466 ~ The Mud Pit

 

Two thousand twenty-two proved to be a tough year for me. I'm sure that can be said for a lot of folks really. Life happens, right? But on the flip side that’s not to say it wasn’t a good year. Or amazing for that matter. Because it was. One of the best truthfully.  We traveled, experienced life outside our box, reconnected with old friends, made long needed improvements to our home, faced our demons and created some pretty amazing memories. So, how was it a hard- pressed, taxing year? Well, life can and is a constant contradiction. Am I right? I mean life is basically a balancing act between Ying and Yang. And for me 2022 was both fantastic and formidable. 

 

Life is like that though. One day we’re on top of the world and the next we’re barely hanging on. From finances to health life can throw a party or a punch. One year you’re healthy, the next your body is failing. Yesterday you were sitting pretty, and today you’re on an operating table with a knife literally at your throat. Life happens in an instant. No one expects it to go sideways but the reality is that's exactly where most of it happens.  

 

For some reason humans by nature seem surprised by the unexpected. One moment we’re a big happy family, and the next we’re dismantling it. Emotions swing, our brains overthink, egos inflate, and our tolerance fails. It’s life. It’s also called being human.  

 

Being the creatures we are, life makes us vulnerable to illness, pain, emotional and mental anguish, hurt, being provoked, angry and misunderstood. Letting go of the things we can’t control isn’t a human specialty. Why? Well, we’re a bunch of hard-headed, stubborn and willful beasts, that’s why. We go to war with ourselves and each other way too easily. No pardon, penance or amends. Just judgment, loss and damages be damned.  

 

Let's face it. We're a mess! Before we reflect or ponder the consequences of our actions or better yet let things be and give it some time our hurt and pride end up leading us to more distress and destruction.  

 

Human nature is complicated. I don't know we're inherently evil or good. That's not for me to decide. Personally, I think we're a little bit of both. Basically, humans are flawed. Once we step in the mud, we’re either slinging it or looking for someone else to blame it on. The thought we could've walked into it ourselves is beyond our scope. Sadly, by the time we stop throwing the mud around we’ve become our own drama. 

 

So, how does a day start out fine and end with such pandemonium? I’ll tell you. 1.Misunderstandings. 2. Lack of communication. 3. Hurt feelings. 

 

Unfortunately, after we pull ourselves up and out of the mud pit our pride is so damaged, we can’t see straight. Regretfully, at this point the need to protect ourselves ends up clouding our logic. I probably don’t have to tell you. But the problem with broken down communication is it leads to even more devastation and unrest.  

 

Lines are drawn, sides taken, walls reinforced, and all reasoning or compassion forfeited. Anger, hate and unforgiveness festers. All before we've had a chance to grab our morning cup of coffee, it’s all gone. Forgotten... every wonderful moment you shared together. Without a second thought, your friends, family and the life you once shared with them are shattered and eradicated. 

 

We can keep looking for explanations and chasing answers.  We can make our point. Get the last word. Prove we’re right. But at what cost? Certainly not peace. That’s for sure. Ponder this. How do we cut off communication, and still expect those we’re hurt by to understand us? Or to see our point of view? We can’t. It’s impossible to resolve conflict without communication. At some point along the way we gotta stop being so focused and determined to misunderstand those we love and who love us.  

 

Robert Greene once said, “We can never really experience what other people are experiencing. We always remain on the outside looking in, and this is the cause of so many misunderstandings and conflicts.” He’s right. We're all human. It’s our nature to fail. But also to rise. I know I have flaws. We all do. No one can go back and undo their failures, but we can undo our misunderstandings by taking the time to listen. 

 

So, my advice at the beginning of this new year is this. Let’s stop slinging blame and get out of the mud pit. How about we help pull each other out? Stop taking sides. Building walls. Instead, let’s open doors. Consider talking, forgiving and understanding. Let's get to work resolving our conflicts. And let’s get back to loving one another again, no strings attached before life and time take the opportunity away. 

 

~Merida Grace