Brave Heart, Brave Soul. She who is brave is free.

Some people try and turn back their odometers, not me, I want people to know why I took this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.” ~ Unknown    From the day we’re born we’re aging. Every day we wake up, breathe and close our eyes again, we’re another day older. Time takes no prisoners. It simply marches on. And as much as we’d like to slow down the process sometimes, age is inevitable. While age is actually just a number. Seriously it is.  And yet, many of us dread each digit turning over.     I don't know about you, but I’ve found growing older isn’t something to be feared. We sure fight it enough though, don’t we? Wrinkles line our faces. Gray and silver hair become the norm and in time; if we’re not too absorbed with our youth, we become a little wiser. At least we hope we do anyway.     When we’re younger we tend to forget growing older is a gift not all accept or receive. By the time we’re noticing lines an...

    “No one tells you the hardest part of being a parent is when your kids grow up.” ~Unknown    Most of my adult life I’ve been a mom. In fact, for over 2 decades my whole identity has been and was wrapped up in one word. Mom. I knew no other name, job or calling. I was a mom, through and through. So, what happens when your children leave the nest? Or worse, become estranged.  How do you cope? There’s no map to navigate. And believe me, the host and array of emotions it brings is life altering. When you’re facing the sudden loss of your child, how do you keep your head above water or stop yourself from drowning in the deep end?     Truthfully, I have no idea. I wish I did. If the nest is emptied naturally, it’s bittersweet. If not, it’s devastating. As parents you wait your whole life for your children to spread their wings. You love, nurture and praise them. Build them up. Pray for them. Provide, sacrifice, and yes, you fail them just as many ti...

  “Sometimes in the waves of change we find our true direction.” ~ Unknown    We’ve all heard the story of Jonah. He ran from God and ended up in the belly of a whale. Not exactly the posh uptown condo one might daydream about, right? Sounds more like a slippery, sloppy, messy and muddy ordeal to be honest. If not damp, mucky and downright terrifying to boot. I don’t know about you but the idea of being swallowed whole by anything is alarming. No less by a monstrous whale with jagged teeth. Yet, despite our best efforts, we all end up inside the belly of a whale at some time or another.    Why? Because we run. Fear takes the wheel and steers us right into the mouth of an angry, hungry whale. What was it Herman Melville said? Oh yes. “Ignorance is the parent of fear.” He sure had that right. I mean by the time regret catches up with us, we’re the proud parents, if not grandparents of a hopping mad, agitated litter of feral changelings we don’t recognize. ...

“The hardest thing is the last goodbye, especially if you didn’t know it really was the last one.”  ~ Unknown   Goodbyes aren’t easy.  And they never really say it all do they? Goodbyes are just messy. At their worst they leave us abandoned with no room for understanding, second chances, forgiveness, or reconciliation. At their best, goodbyes leave us feeling misplaced and lost.    Let’s be real. Doesn’t matter how many times we say them, nothing about a goodbye is painless. Absolutely nothing. Goodbyes hurt. They sting. Most of them are full of sorrow, anguish, and heartache. And if it's a final goodbye, well, it can take our breath away, can't it? Especially if it comes unexpectedly or abruptly.    Death is the final goodbye. And he’s never a welcome friend. But he doesn’t care. He comes for the young and old alike. Death moves on his time, not ours. Yet somehow, we’re always shocked by his presence and angry with his lack of notice. We always want m...

  "When you have a rare disease you face two battles. One being the illness itself. And the other, living in a world where so few people understand what you're up against." ~ Unknown.  Let's talk about perception, reality and chronic illness.   Can we just be honest? Let all the pretense go? Chronic illness is one of those things that most people don’t ”get” till they “get it”. And let’s be brutally blunt now. What so folks think they know isn't always what's actually going on. You know what's happening to your body. I mean it's happening whether you like it or not, right? Yeah, you know. And your doctor knows but  there's a particular kind of person whose perception doesn't quite match our reality. Whatever your real life is doesn't hold water in their eyes. You're making it up. Being dramatic. You just need attention. And sadly, that becomes the narrative.  I don't know why so many folks these days feel they’re adept at diagnosing...

 “When we deny our emotions, it owns us.” ~ Brene Brown    Grief.  Sadness.  Sorrow.  Suffering.  Heartache.  Anguish.  Pain.  Fear.    Every last one of these feelings and emotions turn up like some kind of a lemon, don't they? And by lemon I mean trainwreck. Implosion is probably more like it, right? Off the rails, through the roof, off key kind of hot mess. I mean we can throw humor at it all we want but a shipwreck is still a shipwreck. Kind of like a really bad adaptation of Inside Out.      Let’s be real. Most of us don’t like to talk about Grief or his not so content, very chummy bedfellows. I get it. It’s painful. Seriously, who in their right mind volunteers for pain? Grief can do a lot of things, good or bad if we’re honest. When we're willing to face it, grief can heal us. If not, it can tear us apart. The problem with ignoring our hurt and grief is the darkness it lets in. It eventually consumes...

You don’t end up with a meaningful life, you create it.” ~ Unknown      What is it about change that frightens us so much? Why does the evolution of our lives bring so much panic and dread? And how is it we crave this marvelous metamorphosis in our lives but can’t face the transformation process needed to make it possible?  I mean we all want meaningful, relevant and purpose driven lives, right? At some point most of us wish upon a star. Longing for something better. Dreaming and hoping for the beauty, grace, and prestige of being a butterfly. But sadly, we rarely understand the suffering, struggle or disruption required to sprout those wings, do we?     In nearly 50 years I’ve had to grapple with change over and over again. And like it not, for life to get better, it requires change. You know what that means. Hate it, love it, ignore it, or flat out run from it, change is essential. Change is how we learn, how we grow and how we eventually spread...

  “Grief is a nasty game of feeling the weakest you have ever felt and morphing into the strongest person you will need to become.” ~ Windgate Lane    Grief. One word with a powerful punch. It knocks us down. Lays us flat out on the ground. Then turns around and does it all over again. The thing about grief is it’s not something we ever see coming. Grief is a living, breathing being. She just shows up one day and makes herself at home. Most of us think grief only comes with death. But that’s just not the case.  She visits every day. The difference is some days we simply ignore her sitting at the table. And the other days she boldly walks through the front door expecting a glass of tea sweetened with our tears.     Personally, I’ve found grief to be bittersweet. She’s complicated. A lot like we are. Grief is sadness, pain, fear, anger and joy all wrapped up in one package. Grief can make us feel weak, inadequate and fragile but that’s not her goal. Not ...