Life Lesson #459 ~ Transformation

You don’t end up with a meaningful life, you create it.” ~ Unknown  

  

What is it about change that frightens us so much? Why does the evolution of our lives bring so much panic and dread? And how is it we crave this marvelous metamorphosis in our lives but can’t face the transformation process needed to make it possible?  I mean we all want meaningful, relevant and purpose driven lives, right? At some point most of us wish upon a star. Longing for something better. Dreaming and hoping for the beauty, grace, and prestige of being a butterfly. But sadly, we rarely understand the suffering, struggle or disruption required to sprout those wings, do we? 

  

In nearly 50 years I’ve had to grapple with change over and over again. And like it not, for life to get better, it requires change. You know what that means. Hate it, love it, ignore it, or flat out run from it, change is essential. Change is how we learn, how we grow and how we eventually spread our wings and fly. 

  

Is it easy? Heck no. No way no how. Do radical changes feel good at first? Absolutely not! Change and transformation are two of the most difficult undertakings we spar and lock horns with. And truthfully, change typically hits us below the belt or upside the head when we least expect it. But you know what? Once we embrace it, push away the ruble, we usually discover just how strong we are. 

  

Change comes down to acceptance. I’m not talking about sitting around idly while the ship goes down either. No, I’m talking about being proactive in your own transformation from a caterpillar into a butterfly. Sometimes we have to step back and let go. Stop trying to be in control of everything, all the time. Finding the meaning in our lives comes down to this. We have to learn to respond and not simply react. Make peace with our fear. Stop running from what we don’t understand and face what is in front of us. Our lives don’t lack purpose. They simply lack direction.  

  

As for direction, it can be hard to find if fear is running around in charge. And fear brings in a host of other bad players if we’re not careful. Drama, gossip, resentment, irritation, rage, unforgiveness and the list goes on. If you want purpose or a meaningful life all of that’s gotta go. Karen Salmansohn says it like it is. “People who live a life full of drama are lacking purpose and meaningful goals. After all, when you have purpose and meaning you don’t want to waste your life on drama.”  

  

I don’t know about you, but I’m happier in my older age letting things go. I’ve finally figured out how to deal with disruption, disagreements, and offenses. Instead of throwing myself so fiercely into myself righteous indignations and other people’s shortcomings I’ve accepted the truth. “One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change.” (Unknown) See, there simply comes a time in everyone’s life when we have to decide. Are we going to continue jeopardizing our own happiness or accept change, and let it go? So the life lesson here is this. If you want a meaningful life, you have to choose to trust the process of transition and change. Sounds simple, right? But for something so easy, it’s pretty hard isn’t it? 

Bottom line is we’ve gotta stop overreacting to life’s flat tires and learn how to respond instead. Living life day to day reacting emotionally to everyone and everything that goes bump in the night isn’t living. It’s a slow, painful death is what it is. Our real strength and ability to grow, young or old, is in learning how to ride the wind, not fight against it. Our wings can only grow and transform into strong, beautiful wings when we embrace the experiences change brings. And by doing that, true transformation begins, and happiness, well, it becomes a breathtaking side effect. 

  

“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” ~Budda 

  

~Merida Grace