Life Lesson #465 ~ Growing Older

Some people try and turn back their odometers, not me, I want people to know why I took this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.” ~ Unknown 

 

From the day we’re born we’re aging. Every day we wake up, breathe and close our eyes again, we’re another day older. Time takes no prisoners. It simply marches on. And as much as we’d like to slow down the process sometimes, age is inevitable. While age is actually just a number. Seriously it is.  And yet, many of us dread each digit turning over.  

 

I don't know about you, but I’ve found growing older isn’t something to be feared. We sure fight it enough though, don’t we? Wrinkles line our faces. Gray and silver hair become the norm and in time; if we’re not too absorbed with our youth, we become a little wiser. At least we hope we do anyway.  

 

When we’re younger we tend to forget growing older is a gift not all accept or receive. By the time we’re noticing lines and dark spots on our faces, we’re well into multiple decades of double digits.  I’m not sure why growing older is so complicated. But it is. Like it or not, we all have to accept and acknowledge our advancing years at some point. 

 

Truth is not everything in life goes as expected. Right? Most of my life has been lived off the rails. Maps only go so far when you’re living life one detour to the next.  Oddly enough our best days aren’t usually planned.  And if we’re honest our greatest memories haven’t typically been what we thought they would be either. Most adventures come with bumps and bruises. And growing old is most definitely an adventure! 

 

I guess aging like fine wine is possible. Or at least I've heard it is. However, in my case it’s not plausible.  I’m more of a sippy juice box than a bottle of fine wine.  Personally, I happen to like being a juice box. It makes life a bit more versatile and a tad more interesting in my opinion. Getting older requires being resilient. Some days come easy, most don’t. Pretty much life is all about plan B. And if we’re paying attention along the way, we learn early on that perfection is just a bunch of hocus pocus, made-up nonsense.  

 

But if you’re at all like me, you typically learn most everything the hard way. Falling on my head is a way of life. Seriously though, the reality is we can’t control or fix every mess, muddle and tangled up predicament that comes along. We’re human. Or at least I am. That’s for sure. And being human, we learn by trial and error.  It seems to me when we’re younger we know how to set the world on fire even if we have no clue how to put it out. Nothing can stop us. It’s us against the world. And time? Well, we don’t care. We have plenty of it, right? On the other hand, words hit harder. Rejection seems unfair. Being brushed off or blackballed feels like a kick in the teeth. And we’re certainly more likely to react than to respond. When we’re older, we see things differently. Don’t get me wrong! We still feel the sting, but we have the life experience most days to realize whatever is driving the drama usually has nothing to do with us. 

 

My advice? Remember, you’re responsible for you. Not anyone else. You and you alone. Your words and your actions are yours. That’s it. You’re not in control or in charge of anyone else’s perception of who you are. Nothing you do or don’t do will change someone’s opinion if they are set against you. At the end of the day, you’re solely accountable for your own success or failure. Age is quite simply not about regrets. Personally, I like to think it’s more for reflection. 

 

Growing older has changed me. A lot. I’ve obviously aged, but I've also grown. I've learned to set boundaries. I’m comfortable in my own skin. I know my limits; and yes, at times I still do push them.  Let’s not kid anyone. I most definitely get mad, but I don’t let anger take the wheel. Forgiveness is my constant rule of thumb. Letting go still isn’t easy but it sure beats drowning. Mostly, I’ve found growing old is not for reliving our past and pining over it. It’s not even for grieving. Growing old is about self-responsibility. That’s a given. If we grow wiser with age, we should take ownership of our own slip-ups and blunders. After all, we made our own mistakes. They were our choices. But growing older isn’t for self-affliction or mourning. As we grow older, we begin to tell our own story, pulling each chapter we’ve written together in the process. 

Mostly growing older shifts your perspective. Your desire for peace grows. Your acceptance of change, even if scares you, takes precedence. You stop fighting against the deep and simply begin rolling with it. You love deeper, forgive quicker and stop taking time for granted. Landslide’s lyrics say it best. “But time makes you bolder, children get older and I’m getting older too. Well, I’m getting older too.” 

 

I’m getting older. It’s true. I’m not a young woman anymore.  I’ve lived an adventurous life, written a good story. Yes, I was younger once and I danced in spring and through summer. Now it’s my turn to grow older tracing lines across my face and the silver in my hair.  Yes, I happily join the slow dance of autumn before winter comes for my rest. You see, I do not fear old age, I welcome it. It is a gift, not a curse. 

 

“Aging is out of your control. How you handle it though, is in your hands. “  ~Diane Von Furstenberg 

 

~Merida Grace