Life Lesson #201- Villians On Parade

"When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can't make them change if they don't want to, just like when they do want to, you can't stop them."  ~ Andy Warhol

When I was a little girl I simply loved this time of year. October was a happy time around our house always full of high spirits and amusing fun filled weekends. My parents were never big on Halloween, but they were big on fall. We decorated with colored leaves, corn, pumpkins and gourds. Our house continually smelled of pumpkin and spice. Mom made all kinds of pies, haystacks, hot cider, oatmeal cookies and candied apples. On the weekends we'd gather with friends and celebrate the season together. Sometimes we'd spend the weekend at a Fall Festival or take a hay ride. There was always lots of music, games, goodies and of course bobbing for apples. And no October was ever complete without watching the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. As for my boys, well they've always loved this time of year too. Even today, some 21 years later we still carve out time to enjoy the season together. From the time the boys were crawling we've been taking Joshua and Micah to festivals, dressing up and going door to door around our neighborhood with them. Just like my parents, Johnny and I've always been active with our kids. If they're dressing up, then so are we. If we're off to a water or amusement park, we're all in. We're a family and everything we do, we do together. And that's still the way it is around here. If one of us is going into a scare house, we all are. The truth is as I'm ducking flying winged creatures, running from zombies and avoiding freaky scarecrows jumping out at me at Universal Studios my family is laughing, with me of course. I'm inevitably the one hollerin' like a banshee acting like a screaming meemie while pleading the blood of Jesus the whole way through ...all simultaneously I might add. But you know what? We're all shoulder to shoulder the whole way through. I like it that way.

As a child I loved the Fall. The cooler weather October brought in was a welcome relief from the Southern summer heat. I loved the pumpkin patches, festivals and of course the welcoming of imagination and creativity. Back in my day we either made our costumes from whatever we could find around the house or bought a mask and a plastic dress/onesie combo in a box. Through the years I was known to dress up as everything from a scarecrow, princess, farmer, cowgirl, Wonder Woman and of course Annie and Strawberry Shortcake. It wasn't unusual to find apples and popcorn in your bag at the end of the night either. Goons and ghouls ran around providing everyone a good scare and a belly laugh too. Life was simpler I suppose. Villains were villains and heroes were heroes. There was no real in-between. But times change, do they not? Life takes on different meaning. Ideas shift and thinking revises and retracts itself, and for good or bad, keeps moving us along the way in new and different directions. Babies grow and become teenagers. Children turn into adults and death comes like it or not for both. As we grow up black and white seem to merge more often than ever before. It doesn't take too long before we're living in a world so fake we're not even sure who we are anymore. Are we heroes or have we become villains? A great perspective comes from an unknown but insightful author in these words. "There are no heroe's without villains and there are both in each of us." And honestly, either way you shake a stick at it, October's packed full of both good and bad. October 31st has its own charm and is usually bursting with imagination and of course candy.  And we're talking lots and lots of candy, right? All you gotta do is take a trip to your local grocery store see they're all brimming with decorations, costumes and sweets of all  kinds. Yards are decorated, party invitations arrive in mailboxes and every imaginable type of pumpkin spice you can think of is rolled out. Anyone who hasn't been thinking about pumpkins before now, quite honestly is. Personally I know those who can't wait for October 31st's arrival while a few others can't get it over fast enough. I think some folks are just born with candy corn in their veins, firm believers that trick or treating is more than just a bunch of hocus pocus. They'll hush you in a cotton pickin' second if you express anything different too. Let's be honest here, talk Christmas or Thanksgiving before Pumpkin Day and you just might find yourself the recipient of  Maleficent's 'your stupidity makes me raise my perfectly shaped eyebrow' moment with these folks. On the other side of the coin many really do find this night of mischief and masquerading a bit unsettling. Let's just say for these folks this time of the year's the perfect time to dress up...as Sleeping Beauty, that is. More than likely you'll find them at home, asleep. Everyone has their own opinions on this particular night be it merrymaking or provoking somber thoughts. And that's OK. But either way most can agree it's definitely a night for the unusual and strange to come out. As for me, well I run my own castle. It all comes down to perspective in our household. And I think for most folks it's the same. Love it or leave it when it comes to Halloween it's all in how we chose to react and respond to one another. Some days I'm like yes, be prepared! Something wicked this way comes. And others, well I'm quietly thinking to myself..."Don't make me get the flying monkeys out sweetie." I believe life is much like this too... all about perspective. It's especially so when it comes to monsters, villains and heroes.  The real truth is, "The world is full of monsters with friendly faces and angles with scars." (Unknown) I kind of think that's how we have to approach all of life, not just the frieghts we find along the way. The way I see it, anyway you spend the month of October villains and heroes are going to be in play somewhere in between. And because of this, I think today is a perfect time to discuss Villains.

For our family October's a mixed bag. Bittersweet actually. For one, it's Breast Cancer awareness month. Anything and everything pink is front and center. This is the one month of the year  I'm asked to stand up as roll call sounds off. The reality for us is October packs a one, two punch. No one can deny Breast Cancer has certainly been a villian in our lives, that's for sure. Together we've faced some pretty big and ugly monsters over the last 10 years. But we've also beaten a great deal of our biggest fears since then too. I guess you could say fear no longer has a place inside our home. Angst, fright and anxiety just don't control us in any way, shape or form anymore. One, Jesus stands between Satan and us. And two, we made the decision a long time ago to grab hold of the reigns. Doesn't matter what horseless carriage we've managed to hitch a ride on. And whatever ghastly or ghostly beast is directing, we simply enjoy the ride regardless. How? Why? That's simple... Our joy comes from Jesus Christ, in His perfect love, not in the circumstances surrounding us. Those change constantly, but His love and grace do not... ever! Instead they stay the same. So yeah, life's seriously full of villains. I speak from experience here, you know that. Sure we've faced some pretty big villians in the last few years, I can't deny it. But you know what? We're still standing tall and there's no way in all of God's earth we're going anywhere. So when I say this month is a little extraordinary for us, I mean it. October has become a time of reflection, a month together as a family when we look fear in the eyes and say...boo! Cancer, fear, betrayal, physical or emotional pain and even rejection... it's all met by difiance around here. Whatever it is, we face it together and with Jesus Christ beside us. We stand and deliver. It's all by His grace too. And we never, I mean ever, back down!

Okay, let's stop and acknowledge the reason fear has no home inside our lives anymore. Now, for the most part looking behind us and still facing forward, God's taught us, "The villain has a heart, and the hero has great flaws." (Anne Lamontt)  I know I have a great many flaws. To deny this would be the same as rejecting every life lesson God's provided me. As for the bade guys in this world... the villains knock on our door daily. Well, they certainly do come in all shapes, sizes and all with reasons of their own for taking up the mantle. They're broken and injured people really waging internal wars out of a desperate need for attention and love in any form, by any means. Many have secret shame, hidden away. And every villian I've met has been shackled and chained for as long as they can remember. Villains most definitely are sent by the Devil to destroy us. Heck, sometimes they even attempt his dirty work in the most beautiful ways possible. There's no doubt these bad guys have nasty thoughts and a long list of evil plans in store.  Believe me, they do! And when it comes to my life, oh honey you just have no idea! Seriously, I can vividly hear a handful of Disney's Villains cackling in the background... better yet judging and gleefully threatening my happiness every once in a while. From Lady Tremaine, the Queen of Hearts, Hook, Maleficent, Cruella De Ville and Ursula, they all have something to say, right? If you think about it, every one of their threats can be appropriately applied to life's challenges and villains. Think along the lines of  a melody here, a mash-up of villainous rhyme..."Oh, pay no attention to her... off with her head...I'll get you for this, Pan if it's the last thing I do... you poor simple fools, thinking you could defeat me...poison them, drown them, bash them on the head...and my favorite... poor unfortunate souls!" I mean they're all pretty messed up, right... proud of their sinister reps and being ruthless and cruel. But honestly, I've developed a new perspective when the circus, or better yet a parade of villains comes to town. I just don't bother showing up. By God's grace our family no longer fears the villains. Instead we challenge them by remembering the good and the bad together. Just like in the Wizard of Oz it's simply a matter of  looking up, referencing a falling house and saying, "Be gone!" Speaking for my family, well we probably don't do victory dances in a normal way. By all means I wouldn't dare! However we do dress in silly, goofy and sometimes downright genius costumes. We open our doors and celebrate this beautiful life God's graciously given us, together. And why not?  October gives us an opportunity to gather and fellowship with those we love in customs. Who wouldn't accept that invitation? Fear, well it's firmly turned away at the door. Instead hope's embraced as friends and family walk through our front door. Believe me we give mundane a makeover this time of year and strange a run for her money too.  This usually quiet home of ours transforms from ordinary into a our own version of Disney's Haunted Mansion with a Nightmare Before Christmas twist. Just like Disneyland. I mean honestly, what else would you expect around here? The reality for us, in our castle and from our perspective is this:  We're not celebrating fear or glorifying the villains of hell or their counterparts. No, we're  facing them. And simply put by a simple mind, celebrating God's victory over the Devil's fear and every kind of attack he's plotting year round. 

I guess for me, and probably for you too, when it comes to villains, we've all faced 'em. Maybe we've even been the villain ourselves at times. Could have been by accident, well thought out plans or simply circumstance. Either way, we have to be careful of the darkness inside our own hearts. Most of us do our best to keep from being cast in this role; but there are a few who thrive on it, embrace it, choosing convinence  over provocation every time. As the Evil Queen says, "It's easier to hate, blame and fear than it is to understand. No one wants the truth , they want entertainment." This is exactly why the villain plays the victim so very well. Let's get real: We're more apt these days to 'like' a status perpetuating drama along the lines..."She unfriended me? Oh no she didn't!!! Big mistake honey!" Probably more so than if you simply updated with two simple words...I forgive you, right? I mean the drama will circulate a whole lot more than forgiveness, or a simple apology, right? Admitting fault, accepting responsibility, changing our behavior or actively rebuilding trust just doesn't create the same kind of attention now these days does it? Still, the Bible says we are to love. I Corinthians 13:7 speaks of it this way. "Love bears all this, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." This is our true calling in life...not to choose hate, not to pray for the downfall of those we don't see eye to eye with. No, our calling especially as Christians and followers of Christ is to love in spite of the hatred and betrayal of this world. Maleficent says it best, does she not, in Disney's live action movie. "Aurora, there is an evil in this world, hatred and betrayal. And I cannot keep you from it." And just as Aurora cannot be kept from this evil, neither can we. But the truth of God's grace can be found in Romans 3:23-24." Everyone has sinned and is far away from God's saving presence. But by the free gift of God's grace all are put right with him through Christ Jesus, who sets us free." Yes, even the Villains. And this is the real story behind one of Disney's most magnificent villains, Maleficent. She was once a creature of beauty, with love and goodness inside. She tells us, "I had wings once, and they were strong. They could carry me above the clouds and into the headwinds and they never faltered. Not even once. But they were stolen from me." What we learn through her back story is she was a victim of someone else's fear. She was good and pure but the darkness in someone caused such great pain her heart was turned. This part of her story sheds great insight here, honestl, bringing this truth to light, does it not? "The villain is just the broken hero." No one hears them, bothers to listen to their story, and how they came to be so angry and bitter. Truthfully this is no excuse for their behavior, but it does give us insight. We all have a choice. We can fight against the rage or become the rage ourselves. But this does open another chapter we might have passed over in all the powers of evil hullabaloo going on around us. I guess every villain has a reason or a purpose behind what they do. Some want domination to destroy your life and mine. And then there are others who will seek redemption at the end of their story. We have all known those whose hearts we feel are slightly blackened, been bruised and seemingly misguided just as much as those who long to watch everything burn. Carl Jung says, "The healthy man does not torture others --- generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers. "I believe the same can be said of our hearts. If we turn our backs on those who need our love the most, we are no better than the pot calling the kettle black?

Now I don't expect anyone to believe I haven't ever thought to myself, "Oh Tarnation, a whoopin's comin!" The truth is, I have many times. Here in the South you know when those words hit the fan some one's 'bout to be in a world of hurt. Seriously how many times can one person start an argument with an empty house or a fence pole without a jerk knot in their tail? But then sometimes we just can't help ourselves I suppose. I know myself, I'm guilty of gettin' my Southern out on many an occasion. Doesn't matter if you can feel it in your bones or not, we have to learn sometime we've just gotta get glad in the same britches we got mad in. This is the thing.  We can't go around having Sanderson sister moments from Hocus Pocus anytime we're inclined, now can we?  You know what I'm talking about, right? An, 'Oh look another glorious morning. It makes me sick!' moments. I mean, oh dear. What an awkward situation that could turn out to be, right? There are simply times we've got to stop our rantin' and ravin' for Pete's sake and just hush. See as a Christian, I'm asked to have both compassion and forgiveness. Does this always work out for me? Oh no, not in the least. Who am I kidding? I'm a hot southern mess. Lord knows my face speaks long before my mouth does half the time. But you know what? Jesus tells me to love my enemies anyway. "But I tell you this: Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you. In this way you show that you are children of your Father in Heaven. He makes His sun rise on people whether they are good or evil. He lets the rain fall on them whether they are just or unjust.' (Matthew 5:44-45) See this confirms no one is so far gone God's goodness is unattainable. God's love for us is so great, so powerful and so forgiving, villain or hero, redemption is never out of reach. He always, I mean  always extends grace. I like to think of it this way. In the words of Jon Acult, "Sometimes God redeems your story by surrounding you with people who need to hear your past, so it doesn't become their future."This is how I see Maleficent too. She was so overcome by  hatred and revenge she lost herself. She found herself committing unforgivable acts in the eyes of so many. Yet because she felt true love... and I'm talking about a love that offered selflessness and forgiveness, Maleficent found redemption and grace. Kind of the same way we do in God's eyes, right?

Everyone has a story to tell, good or bad, filled with villains and heroes alike. Much as in Maleficent's back story we find the biggest part of our internal battles come from pushing away God's grace. Villains are not princesses or princes who weren't saved. No, we've all got a bit of villain in us. And we've all been offered saving grace. As followers of Christ, we're His brothers and sisters, sons and daughters. of the King. He came to save us and it's up to each of us individually to decide what to do with His gift of salvation. Now, if we claim to know God, to have accepted His grace personally, then we know we're all the same in His eyes. Some of us have found the way home already while a few are still a little lost trying to figure it all out. Our mistake comes when we deny our fears exists. We can't pretend we're all heroes all the time... because we're not. Even heroes fall from grace, right? Jim Moriarty is pitch perfect with his thoughts here. "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." And in the same way, we can't deny sin isn't apart of us. It is, like it or not, but so is God's grace. All He asks of us is to believe His grace is sufficient, to accept we're truly meant for good more than bad. Sure Maleficent was evil, there's no doubt about that. But she's not all evil, not in a long shot. Most villains aren't born, they're made much like Maleficent here. If we're truly going to rise above hate and revenge in our own lives we must be willing to face the villain within ourselves too. We cannot expect compassion and forgiveness if we're not willing to offer them willingly first. Rebekah Hallberg relays my heart best here. "REDEMPTION is not just about the SURVIVAL of our soul. It's about the REVIVAL of a soul that was once dead. So what is it going to be? Are we going to stand in judgment towards those we see as lost, unsavable and  unforgivable ? Or are we going to reconsider the possibility they simply sin differently than us?  Honestly, most of the folks who appear in our lives as villains, a Maleficent or even an Evil Queen have hearts lined with cracks, bruises and scar going all the way through the fabrics of their souls. Isaiah 44:22 tells us this, "I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you." The reality once you realize it is something Duke S. Lee reminds us of. "It's easy to give grace when I recall how much I need it." So my advice? When you're facing down the villains in your life, maybe it's not pity you need but compassion. Everyone has a story and a different reason for the way they are. We shouldn't ever except excuses, but in our hearts, if for no one else but ourselves we should willingly offer forgiveness. And that is what I offer the villains in my life today...forgiveness. I may not understand you but I forgive you.

So how we deal day to day with these villains? First and foremost, let it go. The forgiveness you offer is for you really, and by allowing it to do it's work, forgiveness frees you from the prison Satan's trapping you in. The thing about it is forgiveness doesn't excuse the villain's behavior nor does it necessarily mean reconciliation. However, it does keep hate and anger from destroying your heart and your life. Personally, I've been working on being more mindful of my own sin. None of us can deny the villain status we've carried ourselves from time to time. If we toss away everything and everyone difficult in our lives, what are we left with...fear and loneliness? Speaking for myself,  I'm learning to love in spite of the hate. Now surely you understand this doesn't mean my front door's swinging wide open or a seat is actually offered to Maleficent at the table? So what does it mean? I'll tell you. For my life it means this : I'm working on myself, by God's grace, owning my own inner villain, taking responsibility for her and making steps every day towards the restoration of my own soul. Everyday, God's chipping away at the hero I was born to be. I no longer live in fear or shame. The mistress of all evil' s shadow or her inner circle has no hold on me. And I'm fairly certain even on the days she attempts to scare me into hiding, she's on my attempting to just blow off a bunch of hot air anyway. The 'Listen well, when the sun sets you'll prick you finger on a spinning wheel and die' kind of shenanigans are just that... tall tales and a bunch of blah blah blah at the end. What it all comes down to is how I choose to react and respond to whichever villains' accusations are making the rounds at the time. What I know after years of running from the villains of my life is this. "Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed." (Friedrich Nietzche) Maybe it's time to shatter those illusions! Let's take hold of the night, stop fearing the ghouls and goons and embrace the goodness God has provided us. Halloween may be a night with Villains on Parade. But Life Lesson #201 is not about hiding ourselves away from Maleficent and her parade of villains. This life lesson is simply the other side of the story...after all there's no dark side to love. Only a darker side to those we love. (Michael Xavier) Nothing is easy, nothing but everything is possible including a villain becoming a hero. And so in spite of all the powers of hell,  I really do believe Maleficent has a powerful message for us all. Never let them steal your wings from you; but if they do, don't forget change is possible. But you must first overcome your fears. In the end, as one page of your story turns into the next you might just find yourself a lot like Aurora...as the seasons change and the flowers grow, so shall you.

"We've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we chose to act on." ~Sirius Black, Harry Potter

~ Merida Grace