Life Lesson #476 ~ Freedom

 

“Freedom is not about the size of your cage or the power of your wings or the non-attachment to a person or a thing. Freedom is about being so truly, madly and deeply attached to your own soul that you can’t bear – if only for a moment – a life that doesn’t honor it.” ~ Andrea Balt 

 

Maybe it’s the fact I’m growing older. Or maybe I’ve just gained some accidental wisdom with my older age. Who knows exactly how or why? It’s an age-old question. Did the chicken come before the egg or the egg before the chicken?  Pun intended, either way, I’ve aged. I’m gray-haired with multiple lines showing across my face. I’m not the vulnerable young woman I was once.  But I’m not yet past my prime. Though I’m absolutely not a spring chicken anymore either. 

I don’t know when it happened. But it did. One day I woke up and everything was different. My hands had creases. My red hair wasn't so red anymore. My eyes didn’t glimmer quite as much as they used to. And yes, I felt tired but my heart, even broken and put back together differently, felt more alive. As for my soul? It was lighter. No, I’m not free of wrinkles, or pain, but I am free of the worlds’ expectations and assumptions of who or what I should be. With the coming of age, I’ve found myself. I know who I am and why.  

Some fear the loss of their youth, afraid to accept the advancing years. For me though, age has always simply been a number to me. I see the effects of time on my face and feel it in my body. I know the stage of life I’m in. But it’s Ok. I’ve found myself. And I've also discovered complete freedom in the process. Every day I travel this new and unknown direction of my life, I see more clearly.  

The strength and potential I lost or discarded somewhere in my youth, has found its way back to me. The light within my soul is brighter. My heart is lighter. I’m free to be me and to be happy. Letting go of what I can’t control has been ultimate freedom. Harriet Ruben once said, “Freedom is actually a bigger game than power. Power is about control. Freedom is about what you unleash.”  

That’s where we get all tangled up, especially in the springtime of our lives.  

When we’re young we don’t want to be controlled, not at all. That’s why we rebel. Or as my dad says, “go through the school of hard knocks.” However, we sure want control over everyone else, don’t we? We want to set the rules and make everyone fall in line. How they look, think, move, what they say or how they say it. And if they don’t conform to or accept our thinking, well, we build walls and toss emotional grenades over them. But all that changes in the fall of our lives. Colors change, leaves fall and whither getting swept away. What was once so vitally significant becomes so much less relevant. We grow and we let go. Power isn’t essential. Freedom is. 

For most of us, as our youth fades, we let go of those old age wars rattling around inside us. The thing about wisdom is you learn winning isn’t always about being right. As you age and get older there comes a time when you’re done with trying to make peace with those who always want to wage war. So, you make peace with yourself. You focus more on who you are, not who they say you are. Those battlefields are for the young, but the wisdom of the old warrior living inside us remains, ultimately becoming our legacy. 

So, let's be real. Age brings a lot of baggage with it. How it got there or the way you carried it could fill a book, no doubt. But it’s how you choose to unpack and what you do with it in the end that matters. It’s all about choices. And the whole thing about the size of your cage or the power of your wings? This is where the reality of your choices sinks in. At this point you realize more than ever before your soul matters. And your true self, well, it matters too. Because how you love yourself and others shows the world how to love you back. 

Bottom line. At the end of the day, growing older has taught me many things. Chief among them though, is learning the shackles of youth fall off and pride loosens its grip. That is, of course, if you’re willing to shed the layers of ego you've built up over the years. 

This is where I’ve found my freedom. Where will you find yours? 

 

~ Merida Grace