Life Lesson #221 ~Rise Up

A little rebellion now and then is a good thing.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

OK. Stop. Maybe my story doesn’t actually start so far away. As for a long time ago...well this part is probably fairly accurate. If we were going back in time the year would be 1977. I was just 4 years old. The far, far away part, well you could say it's about as close to being factual as possible. After all, we were living quite a long distance from home at the time. In fact, when Star Wars, A New Hope premiered my dad was stationed in Frankfurt, Germany. Which was some 5,232 miles from Texas to be precise. I remember waiting in a line a mile long it seemed, on post to see this new marvel they were calling Star Wars. I took in every scene holding my breath watching Luke Skywalker, Hans Solo and Princess Leia rise up against the Empire. I was completely taken with the whole idea of a lost son becoming a Jedi. I was torn though. My imagination was a complete mess. Do I pretend to be a Jedi, an X-Wing fighter or even an empathetic storm trooper? You gotta realize this was long before Star Wars, The Clone Wars was around and there were multiple strong female characters to choose from. I wanted to be Princess Leia but I so wanted a light saber of my own too. Thank goodness my parents never filled me in on societies ceilings. I never had one. Because of this my imagination soared. I could be anyone or anything regardless of conventional ideas. I think this is why I was drawn to Princess Leia. She was brave, bold, feisty, headstrong and exceptionally outspoken. I liked her. I’d imagine myself as part of the resistance, as a rebel of course. I wanted to be just like Leia...fearless against the tyranny of the Empire. Didn’t matter what part I chose to play on any given day, both were satisfying. See I knew it didn’t matter if I had a light saber in my hand or a blaster, either way my place was in the resistance. The reality is my daddy taught me from an early age it takes a brave heart to live free. He told me I could be anything I set my heart on. All I needed was a courageous spirit to stay the course and a bold soul to be defiantly and authentically myself. The world may have expected me to become a woman defined by certain standards but as Marilyn Monroe once said. “Well behaved women rarely make history.” I had a great encourager in my life. A man who saw his daughter, not just as a wife and mother one day but a woman with a calling of her own to answer. I knew my daddy had courage. He wore his wings proudly. And I knew he’d earned them with his own blood, sweat and some tears as part of the 82nd Airborne. He paved the way for me. And the truth is he’s the one who taught me long before it was a thing, that every little girl has a rebellion inside her. I don’t know how he knew my life would be a challenge, but he did. Maybe it was because his life was hard. However, when it came to him, my daddy prepared me for everything that’s ever come knocking. He saw the fire in my eyes and knew I’d never fear it. See my dad, he was fearless in my eyes and I wanted nothing more than to be just like him. If he could face fear with a kind heart, fierce mind and brave spirit, so could I. Today I often think if life and I ever have a conversation it would go a little something like this. “You’re gonna be happy” said life, “but first I’ll make you strong.” (unknown) And it has. Like Princess Leia, I was warned nothing would be easy. I was given explanation after explanation. But just like my favorite princess of all time...I’ve persisted in spite of the pain.

The truth is, I'm a rebel but not in the way you’d expect. I didn’t stay out past curfew. I didn’t have my first drink until I was 21. I didn’t smoke. I never snuck into an rated R movie. I was a square. And I’ve never been ashamed of that. This hot mess was raised in libraries, with paint on her fingers and broken crayons in her hands. In our house Osho's quote really should have been written on the walls. “Creativity is the greatest rebellion in existence.” Jesus, sweet tea, Disney, comic books and sci-fi was the norm in our home. I was born and raised a gospel singing, Jesus lovin’ nerd. This is who I am. I watched my parents lives and I took notes. When people threw stones at them, they simply smiled and gathered them up. I never saw either of my folks throw even one back. Instead each and every time my parents laid those very rocks at the feet of Jesus. Psalm 94:19 has always seemed to be present in my parents lives. “Whenever I am anxious and worried, you comfort me and make me glad.” And for this reason I learned to be happy even when I was sad. My parents empowered me with hope, joy and tenacity. My mama was a woman who believed in second chances and unconditional love. She instilled me with compassion and a wild, creative imagination that was never tidy in the least bit. My mama brought me up to be self-aware and never fear adversity. She has always said I'm a diamond... unbreakable. I can’t say life hasn’t tried to break me because it has. In fact, it’s come pretty darn close a few times. I didn't always understand the meaning behind her words back then, but I do now. Pressure makes diamonds. John Mark Green’s words in response to the toughness of life is inspiring. I remind myself of his words each and every time life, wrapped in chaos and turmoil comes knockin’ at my door. “Life tried to crush her, but only succeeded in creating a diamond.” I might have been a hot southern mess growing up but I was taught to always own who I am. I’m grateful my mama made sure I understood this fact. I have ownership of one thing no one else ever can...myself. When I think of my childhood conversations with my mama I think of these words. “The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.” (unknown) Little did the world know then my mama was secretly raising a little rebel. Because of this I grew into a woman who understood her value and potential is limitless.

Like you, I've long known life is hard. It can really be rather difficult at times, kicking us around. Life can be scary, even beating us to a pulp. But the truth is, if we’re brave enough to endure and persist, one day we’ll be more than just survivors. John 16:33 tells us this. “I have told you this so that you will have peace by being united to me. The world will make you suffer. But be brave! I have defeated the world!” I don’t know exactly how I inherited my optimist daring view on life but I own it humbly. One thing I know shaped me is this. I grew up the daughter of a Green Beret. And like Rey some 38 years later in the Force Awakens, I too knew I needed someone to show me my place in all this. My daddy was this person for me. He was a continual driving force of unflinching confidence. He walked me out and into the shallows. Then taught me how to swim in the deep end of the universe. He’s believed in me my whole life long and taught me to brace for the ceiling before breaking through it. I was raised to be kind and compassionate. I was taught to get back up after stumbling. And to rise up again as the entire fire, not just the spark. From the time I can remember I was aware I didn't need rescuing. My daddy taught me this. Princess Leia simply came along and reinforced it. Anthony Douglas Williams sums my life up in a nutshell. “What you can become depends on what you can overcome.”

Now any good Star Wars fan will tell you rebellions are built on hope. But, listen to me. Hope isn’t some made up pipe dream. Hope is knowing our troubles still exist but won't last forever. Hope is that one spark in spite of the darkness around you still lighting the way. Hope is not the end, but the start of something new. Again hope whispers...try, try again So when you feel uncertain of where this whole rebellion and resistance thing is taking you, remember this. “For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. So collapse. Crumble. This is not your destruction. This is your birth.” (n.t.)  so this is what we all must understand. The key to living the life of a true rebel is having hope. I’ve heard it said many times before,"A single thread of hope is still a powerful thing.” Hope is a formidable force. Princess Leia herself once said, “Hope is not lost today. It is found.” And like her, I’ve got a brazen amount of hope inside my heart. I’m not just a breast cancer survivor. I’m a mother, wife, daughter and a woman with her own voice. Satan’s definitely tried to steal and destroy my joy throughout the years. He may have even tried to silence me, but he has failed time and time again. By God’s grace I've not only withstood the storm, I've become the storm. My life has been spent filling my heart and mind with God’s Word. I’ve clung to it through every difficulty. Believe me, the struggle has been real. I’ve been tested, tried and injured, battered and bruised. But the power to resist the dark side has come directly through my faith in Jesus Christ. This is the strength I possess in the face of impending doom and destruction. And this strength will always be anchored in the hope Christ offers me every day. Hebrews 6:19 reaffirms this. “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” I was taught the only way to resist the darkness is with the light. That’s what God’s Word does for me. It repels Satan’s minions of darkness. The truth is I trust my Father with my life. And I trust His Word. I’ve had my feet put to the fire. But I know this without a doubt, if I stay focused on God’s Word there isn’t room for the devil’s lies. Look, the devils’ henchmen much like Captain Phasma are nonstop. They attack, assault, strike and hit with a punch. But you know what? I’m just as obstinate and unyielding. I don't mince words. Believe me I've been known to look Satan in the eyes, hands on my hip repeating Princess Leia’s words in response to his half-baked schemes. "I don’t know where you get your delusions, laser brain.” Yes, I know I might be a bit delusional myself. But I also know I’m one sassy, stubborn thorn in the devil’s side. You could say I’m a bit like Poe in the Last Jedi when it comes to sending the devil and his objectives packing. I’m always ready to jump in an X-Wing and blow something up. I don’t give up. I’m a fighter and a rebel. I carry strength in my heart and determination in my soul. I understand hope is the only thing stronger than fear. I’ve learned Carrie Fisher was right when she spoke of being afraid. “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” My daddy would say I’ve always carried this kind of confidence. I’d tell you I got it from him. I mean anyone who can shuffle to the door, jump out of a plane with a pack strapped to his back singing gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die is a can-do spirit in my book despite whatever fear’s whispering in his ear.

So yes, I’m a rebel. I’ve always been one. I have an independent streak the size of Texas. At three I insisted not only on learning to spell but write my name myself without help. At six I taught myself to whistle, taking it as far as whistling in my sleep. And again that same year I took the training wheels off my bike and taught myself to ride a two wheeler. At 18 I walked in and came out with a coveted spot in a college music program not knowing how to read music. At 20 I was hired to be a computer coordinator, knowing nothing about computers whatsoever ...not even how to turn one on. By the time I started, I knew everything I needed to. And again at 35 I did the unthinkable. I stepped out of my comfort zone and into the shark tank. But it paid off and I was published for the first time. This is who I am. I may be cautious but I’m still a risk taker. You could say I’m just one of those 'I can do anything' types. From the time I was little I wanted to do everything myself. Be it tying my shoes or giving my own insulin shots. I was just determined. I threw myself into ballet, jazz, theater, gymnastics, piano and singing. I learned how to cook, became a teacher and eventually followed my heart and surrendered to the life of a writer. The real truth about my zany personality can be found in the words of Viola Davis. “My authenticity is my rebellion.” I simply like living outside the box. For me rebellion isn’t just a statement, but a way of life. To be part of the resistance one must be willing to be taunted, scorned and ridiculed. I understood this even as a child. I wasn’t the kind of girl to compromise who I was for anyone's approval. I was born a divergent. Anthony Anaxagorov probably explains my spirit best. "Rebellion is when you look society in the face, and say I understand who you want me to be, But I’m going to show you who I actually am.“ So yes, I’m a rule breaker. I don't like the status quo. Katherine Hepburn had the right idea. “If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.” I guess I’ve always found it a bit amusing to be the complete opposite of what everyone else expects. I’ve never thought being weird was a burden. Being odd, different and a tad peculiar is a gift. I’m blessed to be one of the weird ones. There’s no shame in being an outsider within a world of clones. Being one of the dreamers and misfits is truly a blessing, one I’m thankful for. I know who I am despite the reason why. I embrace the struggle. I always have. Quite honestly I prefer surrounding myself with other square pegs in round holes. You know...the folks who despite being a bit eccentric are as real as real gets. We’re the resistance. We’re the thinkers, writers, poets, dreamers, artists and music makers. We’re nerds and geeks, wallflowers and oddballs...the crazy, rebellious ones who think for themselves and rise up laughing in the face of difficulty. We embrace the weird, quirky and unconventional ideas most dismiss. I truly love the way Gavin Nascimento explains it.” Rebellion is not what most people think it is, rebellion is when you turn off your TV and start educating yourself and thinking for yourself.”

I leave you with this. Hope, is a force not to be dismissed. It's also the underlying truth behind Life Lesson #221 ~Rise Up. Hope carried me just as it found me...just a little girl who rose above the bruises and scars life offered her with a grin. I guess you could say I get it now. I’ve never lost my hope. Now more than ever I realize being part of the resistance to the norm is less about perfection and more about authenticity. Looking back, I know it was a long time ago but 1977 isn't so far away I can’t remember hearing the names SkyWalker, Solo and Leia for the first time. I knew then while I longed to be a Jedi or in command of the Millennium Falcon, Princess Leia would win the fight. And I was right. Forty years later in 2017 she led the Alliance as one of the resistance’s greatest leaders. She left the title of princess behind and made a name for herself as General Organa. In spite of everything life threw at her, Leia as a princess or General, persisted. She lost her mother at birth, adoptive parents along the way, her home, planet, found a brother she knew nothing about and learned her father was the face of evil and all before she had time to blink. She faced adversity and even the loss of her husband at the hands of her own son. And yet Leia found courage to follow her heart where it led. Carrie Fisher said herself once. “I like Princess Leia. I like how she handles things. I like how she treats people. She tells them the truth. She, you know, gets what she wants done. I don’t have a problem with Princess Leia. I’ve sort of melded with her over time.” I think it’s the same with me...I’ve blended and meshed with her character in many ways. Throughout my life, at the age of four and now at 44 years old Leia’s still teaching me to live bravely with the whole purpose driven, warrior princess, save the world vibe thing she’s always had going for her. Besides, as Leia would say somebody has to save our skins, right? And if I’m going to be a rebel, I might as well be in good company. The truth is this. Not all girls are made of solely sugar and spice and everything nice. Some of us are made with all those ingredients and more. The rebels, we’re the ones with just a heavier spoonful of adventure, resistance, brains, no fear and a splash or two of hardheadedness, misfit and trouble maker too. If I think about it I’m a lot like Rey, I suppose. In the sense I’m usually fairly certain I can handle myself. What I’ve learned and gained in life is this. Purpose, determination and courage are all necessary to spark a flame. What you do with that flame is up to you. St. Catherine of Sierma reminds us of this fact beautifully. ” Be who you were created to be, and you will set the world on fire.” Just remember every personal rebellion and resistance starts with one thing...a spark. The rebel in me will never die. You see, Yoda was right, “In a dark place we find ourselves.” I did. And I’ve held onto her ever since.

“That little piece of rebel you have inside. That part that screams LET ME GO. The bit that makes you stand up for what is right for yourself. The strength from within --- that’s a gift! Never silence it for anyone, it’s the basis for your authentic self, it’s your truth.” ~ Honey Child

~ Merida Grace