Life Lesson #168 ~ Love As Old As Time

"It's not until you lose everything that you can truly appreciate everything." ~ Belle, Beauty and the Beast

I am a loved woman. I am married to the love of my life. He is strong, handsome, a bit ornery at times but always kind. He's far from perfect, but then neither am I. He can have a temper, but be assured so do I. He is fair, gentle, sweet and yes sometimes a bit unrefined. He calls me his Beauty, and at other times, his Baby Beast. I call him my Beast, the love of my life and my hunny-bee.  We are quite the oddly mismatched pair to many, but that's what makes us work. I've always been what you'd call a bit peculiar, just like the song..."Look there she goes that girl is strange, no question. Dazed and distracted, can't you tell? Never part of any crowd. 'Cause her head's up on some cloud. No denying she's a funny girl that Belle" But Johnny knew this about me from the moment we first met and he loved me for it. I was different, unique in a world full of fake. He saw my heart, he loved my laughter and my smile, and yes he was taken with my eyes. He told me from the moment we met I'd be a wonderful mom. He saw me, and I love that he still does. I still get lost in books. On any give day you can find me sitting with my my Harry Potter t-shirt on, my Beauty and the Beast PJ bottoms, Dr. Who slippers sticking out from under my Star Wars blanket and a Mad Hatter mug full of hot tea as I'm listening to my play list. I'm that girl. And Johnny loves me for it.

On the other hand Johnny is a sports guy. I've always loved his arms, the strength they hold and of course his gentle, warm smile. He may have appeared ridged to some and unwelcoming to others, that is until he gets to know you. To me, well I 've always seen his warm, tenderhearted, vulnerable, gentle and generous side. He's Native American, I'm Irish. He's a manly man, loves his whiskey and steak, loves to fish and a good action flick too. He's a cross- fitter, lifting weights and pushing his body to it's limits. He believes "your body is the engine and your mind is the engineer." Just as I've made Harry Potter, Disney, Star Wars, Marvel and DC part of his life he's made football, baseball, basketball, golf and ice hockey part of mine. And I love him for it. He was the linebacker on his high school football team, and was popular. The truth is we wouldn't have ever run in the same circle, and we'd never have dated if we'd met during those years. But you see God had something special planned for us. He knew we'd find each other later. He could see what we couldn't. You see He knew when we did meet, the truth of Beauty and the Beast, this very tale, yes one as old as time would ring true for us.

Doesn't it go like this," Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong."  And the truth is if we'd steered clear of each other simply because of our differences, we'd have missed out on something pretty amazing. The reality is there is no simple love story. Seriously nothing about love is ever simple, easy or uncomplicated. Unconditional love by virtue of definition is  complicated. But as Toby Mac conveys, 'Love is not IF or BECAUSE. Love is ANYWAY and EVEN THOUGH." And I have found in all our adventures out there in the great wide somewhere, in being married to the love of my life for over 21 years that this is a very important piece of loves puzzle. See Johnny and I, well we are complete opposites in every way. Yet our hearts, our lives and our love for one another has proven united,  stronger than any obstacle set before us. What does the song say? "Tale as old as time, true as it can be. Barely even friends, then somebody bends unexpectedly. Just a little change, Small, to say the least, both a little scared...Beauty and the Beast." That is us.

Now I know some will say but what about the heartache and the pain ya'll experienced? Was that part of the plan? Nope, it wasn't but it is part of our story. It was not fun, let me tell you but it was worth it. To say Johnny and I have had our ups and downs, that we've struggled is putting it mildly. I mean a wife with breast cancer, RA, stroke, lymphedema, among other assorted conditions unable to work for years plus a child with a TBI and another on the spectrum well let's be honest here, those things can prove to be very worrisome, even burdensome and exceptionally hard to carry on your shoulders. Even if you are a strong, unmovable person, lifting Olympic sized weights like a beast. Add the addition of any more weight, in just the wrong spot, well that can have you shaking, losing your balance and in those moments everything can come crashing down around you. It's life right? It's at this point when the phrase "like a beast" oddly turns into being a Beast and not in the same awesome terms. But you see, this tale, the one as old as time has been tried, tested and told again and again and you know why? Because love is more than a feeling, more than a pretty face and much, much more than an idea. Love is forgiveness, love is putting yourself last and seeing through the eyes of your partner. Love is not about me, not about you, but about us together. Love is talking through the disagreements, but most of all love is about selflessness and unconditional love, never being afraid to put your heart on the line for each other. I absolutely agree with Mrs. Potts, "Love doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be true." She also explains, "You don't lose hope, love. If you do, you lose everything." And that's what Johnny and I have held on to during the tough times, the difficult, tiresome and beastly moments of our relationship...hope. No, I'm not an expert on love or marriage but I can assure you that while it's been learned by trial and through fire mostly, we are inseparable. Together we have seen the best in each other, the worst of one another and we have chosen to stay. We know where our hearts lie, and it's together,in one another's arms.

As I begin to reach the last of my tale, I say to all who question me: I'm blessed. Over the last few years Johnny has fully embraced my Disney side. If not he'd probably gone mad by now. He's started bringing home many Beauty and the Beast ornaments and figurines for our mantel. I love each and every one, because they just don't tell a story, they tell our story. I personally relate to these characters, and in many ways so does Johnny. Much like the lyrics of 'Belle', "But behind that fair facade. I'm afraid she's rather odd. Very different from the rest of us. She's nothing like the rest of us. Yes, different from the rest of us is Belle! " Then they go on to belt out..."It's a pity and a sin. She doesn't quite fit in cause she really is a funny girl. A beauty but a funny girl." This is me. The one and only Christina in the flesh. The real me, the fully odd, strange and different me. Bill Murray has it right, "A soul mate is someone who appreciates your level of weird." And Johnny does, all of my crazy, weird, nerdy, geeky and whatever else you want to say about me level of strangeness.  I will tell you this with complete confidence, what I love about Johnny and I is this: Even though I've always been a bit odd Johnny a bit grumpy, both those characteristics are the very things we absolutely love about each other. He sees me, really sees me for everything I am and all I'm not. So yes, in my eyes we're true to the characters, Belle and Beast. Yet I know that's also what makes our love, our life and our years together so rich and full. We may disagree and we may not always get along.  He may be moody and I may be unreasonable. We may be oddly paired, a strange girl, with wild ideas and a beast with a big heart who's learned to love that very same weird, peculiar girl all the same. See, N.R. Hart  is correct. "Every girl needs her Beast to protect her from everything but him." And in Johnny's arms I am safe, loved, secure and protected.

So now let me bring our story to a close. It's true, love, is a tale as old as time. It's truly "certain as the sun, rising in the east." Johnny and I , we are two imperfect people yet our love is as real as it gets, tried, tested, and true. Our love it is kind, generous, impatient at times but always unconditional. It keeps no record of wrong doing as our love has come to understand what real, genuine forgiveness is. Much like Ephesians 4:2-3, our marriage has grown, been challenged and overcome the adversity of being imprisoned by conditional love. By God's grace  we have been freed by true loves kiss. The scriptures say this to us,  "Be always humble, gentle, and patient. Show your love by being tolerant with one another. Do your best to preserve the unity which the Spirit gives by means of the peace that binds you together." And so Life Lesson #168 ~ Love as Old as Time, speaks of the forgiveness, of patience and the unconditional love Johnny and I have found for and with one another together. The truth is we all can find this, if we chosoe to. It's been said many times, spelled out beautifully for all of us if we'd only listen. "If he could learn to love another and earn her love in return by the time the last pedal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, then he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time." This tale is simple, not complicated. If we wish to break the spell of unforgiveness and despair in our lives we must be willing to love unselfishly,unconditionally, ungrudgingly and of course generously. It is then, the beast inside of us is tamed, transformed, and the age old question is answered, "Who could ever love a beast?"  The answer is you, and me. Your tale, it will be told just as ours has been today. The two of us together can tell our story, our tale of love and forgiveness without shame or hesitation. Our tale is truly as old as time, and our song as old as rhyme. I as his Beauty and he as my Beast till the end of time.

"I love you. After all this time. I still love you. It's always been you. It was you yesterday. It was you today. It will be you tomorrow. And for the rest of my life it will be you." ~Unknown

~Christina