Brave Heart, Brave Soul. She who is brave is free.

Celebrating A New Day I woke up this morning and I realized that I had gained and added another thirty something digit to my name. Yes, another marker had lined itself up front and center and was shouting 34 at me as loudly as possible. Of course having my children bounce up and down on the bed like jumping beans shouting 'it's ya birthday, it's ya birthday' through my foggy state of semi consciousness was enough to leave me in complete awe. But seriously on the flip side of things, is it age that caused me to reflect and to tremble? No, actually I embrace the years that I have lived here on this Earth. The simple truth is that I am in awe of the life I am now living, a life once swept away, thought to be dull and abandoned has now come to life full of new opportunities. How precious is it that I am here today, alive and living with hope and courage? Looking back on the last 519 days, 74 weeks and 17 months I realize that I have lived more than I have ever lived befo...

Holding On..... Have you ever had one of those days or maybe it was one of those weeks when you just wanted to throw the towel in, leave everything where it lies and literally run for the hills? Well, this has been one of those days, weeks for me and it is only Tuesday! You know sometimes having your plate so full that it is overflowing isn't a bad thing. Having a full plate can be exciting, keep you going and your mind occupied. But then there are those times when having that plate of yours over flowing seems like a daunting task at best. Truly hasn't everyone experienced a day or two at some point in their lives when they wanted to take that plate and just toss it, slam it up against the wall and watch all the pieces of the plate crash down o the floor and the contents of the plate just slowly drip down the wall? Well, truthfully that has been my day today. There are times that dealing with and living through cancer can really just beat you down leave you feeling hopeless. N...

Recently a wonderful, strong, courageous friend of mine and fellow pink warrior was attacked on her blog for sharing her "misery with the masses," calling her a silly woman. How sad that anyone would feel the need to belittle a beautiful fighter in such a way. Sadly we all know people like this. Sadder still is that they gain their own strength from the pain of others. I too have been bitten by this type of emotional vampire as I have written about in past entries. In my circumstances I wasn't attacked by a stranger, but by a "friend." Through my journey I have come to realize that these emotional sucking vampires are just empty, shallow, attention craving, and genuinely needy folks. So I offer this entry to you now long as it may be, this entry is a true reflection of where I have been and where I am going in my journey with Breast Cancer . This is truly why we fight, to keep the voice of reason and the virtue of compassion alive in this mad, mad, world! This...

I have learned that cancer can be cruel, incredibly overwhelming and at times over powering. I have learned through my journey that while there are some days when you are completely inspired to keep up the fight, there are simply those days when you have no fight left in you. I have learned that there are parts to this journey where you feel absolutely strong, eager not just to face the beast, but to slay the beast! Then there are those days that creep up from behind you, pull your feet out from under you and leave the stench of defeat within close proximity of the beast's lair. I have learned that your family and friends will pull you back up on your feet again intentionally or not. Those close to you will listen without intruding as they will comfort and encourage you without ever judging your weakness. Still, more importantly they will allow your tears to cleanse your spirit without ever feeling the need to crush it. What I have learned is that this journey isn't easy no...

Hello Ya'll! Well, let me first say that I am thrilled with my new doctor. She is wonderful. Her office was like coming home in a way. The rooms and walls are full of comfy, heart warming and welcoming pictures, nick nacks etc. She is also all about empowering her patients with knowledge, file copies and giving each woman plenty of time. When you have an appointment, you have her time and not the other way around. She spent about 3 hours with me going over everything from my initial staging to what I can expect in the coming years. The best thing is that she schedules only 2-3 women at a time. That was a welcome wonder after being one of 30 waiting for a doctor. As for my health? I am well. Yes, I do have a few hiccups to get past, but over all I am confident in my prognosis. I do have mild l ymphedema in my left arm so I will see a physical therapist and be placed in a sleeve. No biggie, I have lived without a breast, without hair, so what is a glove? Maybe I will finally look h...

In Memory... Well, this has been one of those weeks for me. There have been several days that I really just wanted to run away from my own little spot in this world .The only thing stopping me? I had no place to run to. There are times when life just seems to be crawling on top of you, shoving and pushing you back down under the water. That's about as honest of a picture as I can give you right about now. Can I say it again? I HATE CANCER! I hate all it does to your body, your life and to those that love you. Cancer reeks of death. It thrives on it. Cancer is a sly little son of a gun creeping up behind you attacking before you even have time to counter attack. Cancer seeks to destroy taking away all it possibly can. Cancer is a parasite moving through your body as if it truly owns you. Cancer is devastating . I have lived through cancer, fought it, and have forced it to retreat for the time being. Still there are those days, those appointments that grab you up by the seat of ...

Why We Fight... We fight for life. We fight for all that has been lost and the pieces of our lives still scattered on the wind. We fight for the lives we once held in our hands full of dreams and we fight for the glimpses of hope we still hold close to our hearts. We fight for the wives we once were and the mothers we still hope to be. We fight for the cause, to eradicate fear and denial. We fight for those who can no longer and we fight with those who stand beside us yet untouched by this disease. We fight for the hope of not just a cure but healing of the mind and spirit. We fight because we want to live, to breath and to embrace each moment given to us. We have conceded enough. We have given our breasts, our hair, and for too many, our lives. We have given enough! We fight for our children to give them a life filled with hope and not fear. We fight to fill our days with the lives, the giggles and the innocence of our children, giving them hope for a new day. We fight to fill their l...