Life Lesson #226 ~ Living An Incredible Life

“The best things in life are the people you love, the places you’ve seen together, and the memories you’ve made along the way.” ~ Unknown

I have an incredible life. I can’t deny it. I’m blessed. Now that’s not to say I haven't had to fight for my happiness or overcome sadness and difficulties. Believe me, I have over and over again. In spite of all the ups, downs or moments life’s gone sideways, I still count my blessings every day. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times. I’ve been raised on Jesus and sweet tea. Truth is so have my boys. The world outside our door may be falling apart, but the life we share inside these walls keeps us together. Our glue has and will always be family, Jesus and a cold glass of sweet iced tea on a hot, humid, Texas summer afternoon. The honest to goodness truth is life has been anything but effortless and trouble free. Our family description would more than likely read a little something like this in a church directory. Complicated, complex, awkward, unfathomable, intricate, committed, steadfast, unwavering, brave, spirited, dauntless, stubborn, close and warm hearted. We’re far from perfect and not one of us would claim to be. Life has hit us hard. I’d venture to say it’s even broken us a time or two. Some folks through the years have asked me what’s kept us together? The truth is faith has. No matter how bad life has gotten, how broken and defeated we've felt Jesus, the Champion of Heaven has always stood with us. Let me tell y'all we’ve faced some pretty mammoth beasts and wickedly wicked fiends in our adventures together. Though I’d say most of our escapades have been amazingly remarkable. Comical possibly sums up a few of our mishaps along the way. While calamitous rounds out the rest. Yet in spite of every startling and shocking, even jaw-dropping setback Jesus, family and sweet tea have always been the remedy. Whether my parents were jolted awake by me flying over top of them and their bed yelling ‘Wonder Woman’ or finding myself running around the grocery stores in masks with lightsabers and lassos with my own children, life has never been dull.

Right now, I’m thinking of a more recent predicament involving my parents, yours truly and my oldest son though. This particular evening we decided to grab some froyo. Little did we know it would soon turn into a story fit for the family history books. I mean who would think a run for a bit of froyo could be cause for a police bolo? Yes you heard me correctly. This Dowling tale begins quite innocently enough. Where it becomes pandemonium is anybody’s guess. First, my dad decided to ask his guidance system for directions. This was the start of the mayhem. The second mistake came when he gave up waiting and hung up. This not only disrupted the call but put in place a series of unfortunate events not even I could make up. Life sometimes is indeed stranger than fiction. I should know. Let’s be honest, my life’s full of strange tales. And this trip for froyo that night wasn’t any different. All of a sudden our phones began ringing, one right after the other. I was the only one who answered only to quickly and accidentally hang up mid sentence. The call itself was a bit bizarre not to mention who they asked for...my dad. According to the voice on the other end of the line my number was one listed inside the car… yep let that one sink why don’t you. What followed was straight out of an old black and white Abbott and Costello movie. In between all the hanging up and additional hullabaloo and hoopla going on my mom decided to check her voicemail.  With our jaws dropped down on the ground and eyes popping out of our sockets our ears heard correctly…”if we do not hear back from Mr. Dowling within the next 3 minutes a police bolo will be issued.” And that is how an ordinary outing for froyo turned into yet another weird, wacky and unexpected stranger than fiction chapter in our tale. Best part? When our guidance system finally announced we had arrived a sign hung over the door in big letters announcing the shop was permanently closed. Yep, that’s just how we roll. See, humor and grace, those are our superpowers not perfection or fine-tuned picture-perfect phony 3-dollar bills. Now maybe our quandaries aren’t as interesting as Mr. Incredible and Frozone bringing down a burning building trying to save the day  but the truth is as a family we’re a bit peculiar and curious. It certainly rains when it pours around here that’s for sure but let me tell y’all somethin’. We’re stuck together like glue and I can guarantee we know how to take the bull by the horns. Growing up the way I did I learned early on to not to get my panties in a bunch as we say down here. We may all bleed the same but we deal with life’s victory’s and tragedies differently. I’ve lived all around the world and across this beautiful country of mine since I was knee high to a grasshopper. In doing so I’ve learned a lot in my travels. While I’ve gained some truly incredible stories to tell along the way I can assure you, I’ll forever and always be a southern woman. The life lessons offered me growing up in a southern home, no matter our physical address, have both shaped and given me a pretty spectacular if not a rather incredible perspective. Katori Hall puts a finger on it better than anyone else I have heard. “I’m very Southern in the way I walk in the world. I love to laugh. I love to eat. I love to hug people.” See I was raised to look for the good in every situation...not to go to bed angry or leave without huggin' and always offer some home cooking whenever possible. And today, no matter where I go, I bring a little bit of home with me. 

Now let's get this straight. I’ve had a good life. Hard at times, yes, but good nonetheless. At eight I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and by the time I celebrate my 40th birthday I’d experienced a mini stroke, bell's palsy, preterm labor, two high risk pregnancies and two very complicated, near death deliveries, stage 2b breast cancer, chemo, lymphedema, a full hysterectomy, menopause, kidney disease, multiple autoimmune diseases and that’s just before 40. But I wasn’t raised to get out of the way. Instead I was taught to make a way through. By God’s grace I may be a soft hearted, quiet and shy southern bell but let me assure you I can also be hell on wheels when need be. Satan may have tried to define my life by difficulty, misfortune and tragedy but God intended and used all those setbacks, adversities and disasters to strengthen me. Joel 2:25 has always stood out in my mind when doubt begins circling. ”God can restore what is broken and change it into something amazing. All you need is faith.” From the time I can remember Satan has been after me and my family too. Like Syndrome, the devil is arrogant, cruel, vengeful and maniacal. He’s downright wild and violent. I can just see him daunting a superhero costume with a giant S on it, can’t you? His goal, to render you and I useless. Mark my words, if Satan could steal Syndromes line he would. “You can’t count on anyone! Especially your heroes!” That’s his MO, but you know what? While he may be out to rid the world of our faith, hope and joy it’s up to us, the none- cape wearing ‘Supers’ not to get caught up in his diabolical plans. Now let me be clear I am no super human in any way. I am strong, but I am weak. I have joy, but I’ve known sadness. I can be confident, yet be doubtful just as often. I’ve been dealt rejection, pain and defeat. Still I chose to be tenacious when it comes to my faith and family. Twenty-eight years ago, I was asked to sing at graduation. Yes, I said that correctly. The year was 1990. The song choice was mine. I thought long and hard before I chose The Warrior is a Child’ by Twila Paris. I had no intention of faking perfection or pretending I wore a cape, even back then. The lyrics still speak loudly to my life today. “Unafraid because His armor is the best but even soldiers need a quiet place to rest. People say that I'm amazing .I never face retreat. But they don't see the enemies that lay me at His feet. They don't know that I come running home when I fall down. They don't know who picks me up when no one is around. I drop my sword and cry for just a while cause deep inside this armor the warrior is a child.” This is my battle cry. I am nothing if not human. Jesus carries me when I can’t walk. He lifts me up on His shoulders so I can see past the battle line in front of me. In all the sickness He’s been my help and comfort. He is the reason I’ve come through every last bit of it. I am nothing without Jesus Christ, and I am not ashamed of this. My strength and conviction? They’re rooted deeply in His relentless mercy. My hope and His grace are a constant. I look back only to see how far He’s carried me. Mostly, I try to think like Edna Mode, from The Incredibles, when it comes to the past. “Never look back, darling. It distracts from the now.” And so I keep pressing onward.

The reality is I had to face havoc and pain early in life but in return I’ve been given a pretty unbelievably incredible life in exchange. I may not come from a family of cape wearing superheroes, but in my experience they’re ‘Supers’ all the same. Now if you’ve ever seen Disney and Pixar’s, The Incredibles, then you’re familiar with this term. You also probably know this quote too. “Don’t think and don’t worry. If the time comes, you’ll know what to do.” This is how I’ve lived my life to be honest. If I stood around waiting for trouble to find me I’d have drowned already and never come back up. Life is tough. Nothing about it is easy, not even the easy parts, right? Sometimes you’ve got to hightail it out of there and other times you’ve just got to dig in deep. What I know now at almost 45 years old is this. I am not what’s happened to me. I am, however, the woman God’s called me to be, part of a greater plan than I could'a ever imagined. I’m a member of a family of ‘Supers’ and they are indeed my greatest adventure. No, none us have actual superpowers, at least none that I willing admit to anyway. What we do have however is each other. We’re human. We have faults. We disappoint and even hurt one another. We’ve been let down and lifted up by the same hands. We may not always get along or agree but we always have one another’s back. We are a family. We love and suffer, sacrifice and prosper together. We fight with and for each other. I don’t always deserve their love but I always have it. The love we share as a family is more than words, it’s spelled out everyday in our actions. Our love is unconditional. No matter what any of us do, we’ll never lose or leave each other abandoned on the side of the road. When I’m a hot mess I have no doubt my family’s always comin’ directly after me. It’s what we do. Having an incredible family life isn’t always being on the same page...no, it's all in how you get there when the turbulence sets in. Family cares about family, differing opinions and all. Being kinsfolk means being there for the good times, bad times..all of it. I guess you could say we believe the words Jim Butcher imparts, “When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching --- they are your family.” The truth... life’s hard. It's been tough. I’ve had to learn to give up control of my life and trust God's got the reigns. Good, bad or somewhere in between I’d rather die with our memories, than some kind of out of reach white picket fence dreams. Dave Willis sums up the definition of an incredible family like this. “There are no perfect parents and there are no perfect children, but there are plenty of perfect moments along the way.” And you know what? When it comes to my familia, I’ll continue loving every beautiful, sometimes painful and still incredible random memory we make together. The truth is you can always make more money, right?  The reality is you can’t get back time. My two cents for what it’s worth. Don’t get so wrapped up in who burnt your biscuits. Just be glad you have biscuits to burn for goodness gracious sake.

Truth is, as a family we’re all pretty much a different cup of tea when it comes to most folks, but then we’ve been blended, fused and brewed in the same pot for decades now. We’re blood, yes, but that’s not what makes us a family honestly. Our last names don’t really even define us as such. What matters and denotes our tribe is this. When we’re all together we’re fully known and deeply loved. Doesn’t matter how odd, different or even if we’re a black sheep, we all have an equal place at the table. In fact our family dinner table has and will always be a daily reminder we’re connected both in life and to one another. In the movie The Incredibles, Dash and Violet are pressed to keep a lid so to speak on their family's super powers. As a unit they are different. Most of us are truthfully but some hide it better than others. My family however? The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. We don’t hide anything, we’re a little odd to say the least. Quirky is probably a good word for us. We’re different for sure but we’re warm and exceptionally inclusive and forgiving. We love Jesus, Disney and the world of comic books. Some of us are readers, while others are tinkers. We’re sci-fi fans. A few are diehard horror junkies. Dinner isn’t just a time of the day, it’s a family experience. We’re all creative and imaginative in our own ways and as musicians, writers, artists and filmmakers all of us fall into if not multiple categories above with ease. We’re a clan of baseball and hockey lovin’ nerds and geeks but we do love our Texans and Rockets too. Growing up I played volleyball, basketball. I was on the drill team too. Johnny played on the football team and the boys started Texas T-ball almost as quickly as they could walk. We’re a modge posh family of interests and talents. We’ve landed on our faces more times than not honestly, but think of all the stories we have to tell around the family table. We’ve thrived and grown because of our love and determination to learn new things and not necessarily because we always have the raw talent either. The fear of failure is there, believe me. It just doesn’t have the power to hold us back. I mean we could worry the horns of a billy goat, but why? Actions speak louder than words  right? I think I speak for my incredible but very human family when I say we’d rather be working on a solution any day than talking ourselves out of one. When push comes to shove, Edna Mode’s advice is really sound. “Words are useless. Gobble, gobble, gobble --- there’s too much of it darling, too much!”  My advice? Stop talking and start doing something about it.

Arriving here today, at Life Lesson #226 ~ Living An Incredible Life, honesty, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. However, I chose to stand on His promises. I know God’s Word is true and I believe He has every page of my life figured out. Gordon B. Hinkley explains it best. “Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things will always work out.” Yes, my impossible is His reality  He knows who I can be, failures and all. I am beloved, just as you are my friend. I cannot move you by mere words to believe this, but I pray in time you will see my words are true. I am no superhero. This is a fact, but God’s strength enables me to walk like a giant. Whatever comes my way, I know this. God is for me, not against me. (Romans 8:31) I have an incredible life. I’ve been blessed with an imperfect but incredible family. By God’s grace, I’ve inherited my parents faith, hope and humor. And I pray in turn I leave the same for my children too. As a mama now myself, I’ve raised two creative souls with direction but always within perspective. As parents, Johnny and I have allowed our boys room to figure out who they are and what makes them tick. Has it been easy? Heaven’s to Betsy, no! It’s been anything but! Yet watching our boys become men with conviction has been our reward. There may not be riches untold waiting on them one day but the memories we leave behind are far more valuable. Missy Mwac has it spot on. “If you don’t think photos are important, wait till they are all you have left.” This is why we fill our lives with memories and our homes with photos. After all, a family that plays together, prays together and imagines together can defeat Syndrome, AKA Satan and his malicious plans together too. Yes, we are a family of ‘Supers’ whose real powers are a crazy sense of humor, joy, laughter and gratefulness for one another. We don’t possess the power to fly, run at the speed of light or on water. We can’t create invisible force fields, turn into fire, stretch like elastic or lift cars like Disney’s 2004 Incredibles. We’re everyday folks living in 2018 with fears, faults and failures but that doesn’t mean we can’t rise above whatever any super villain throws our way, now does it? We’re a family, individually unique and yet still incredibly connected by our memories and unconditional love. Sure, we’re unconventional, but when has that ever stopped us ? Deuteronomy 26:1 says this. “And you shall rejoice in all the good that the Lord has given to you and to your house.” Today I rejoice...I am loved, accepted and forgiven. And while some days I'm so busy I don't know whether I've found a rope or lost a horse  I'm content. I not only have a remarkable family, I'm living an incredible life.

“Happy times come and go but the memories stay forever.” ~ Unknown

~Merida Grace