Life Lesson #213 ~ True North

“True love isn’t found, It’s built.” ~ Anonymous

Love, it all starts with a spark, doesn’t it? And afterwards, is where the real adventure begins. Sure diamonds are forever but adventures, now they’re the moments diamonds are made for. Each impression left across our hearts, every escapade along the way becomes eternally endless and enduring, right? We build our lives on these very memories. And as for the legacies we leave behind? Well, they’re each stitched from the very fabric God’s woven together from our greatest adventures. We find our true North as we set out, hand in hand chasing what sets our souls on fire. And for my parents that fire was found in each other some 49 years ago. Just like Genesis 2:18 God created my parents uniquely for one another. “ And the Lord God said, “It isn’t good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs.” Now, they will both tell you they didn’t find each other first. Both felt the sting of rejection, loss and regret. Still till this very day both my parents will explain God found the both of them...for each other. When I think of my parent’s love story I am often reminded of Carl and Ellie of the Disney Pixar film Up. When neither one expected true love, love found them. Russell may just say it best for me. “I may not have gone where I intended to go,

but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” And this is really the story of my parents lives.

It was some 50 years ago my parents met in May of 1968. This is the day my mom stepped onto my dad’s bus and into the rest of her life. Neither my mama or daddy knew this particular day her steps would lead them towards the greatest adventure of their lives, but it did. How could she have known deciding to go to work on a Sunday would set such an amazing adventure in motion? My daddy, he was a Red Arrow driver in downtown Philly in 1968. A soldier, Green Beret in fact in between getting out of the Army and going back in. My mom was working for the Franklin Institute. Reality is, as soon as they saw each other they knew. True North was calling them personally and an adventure was surely about to be put in motion. Neither were looking for love. As God would have it love bit ‘em both fairly hard sending them on a whirlwind romance. Nine months later they were Mr. and Mrs. Dowling. Less than a year later my dad was back in the Army. Soon after that my parents were setting up house in Panama. And three and a half years later I was born, the only child, and a daughter at that, a dreamer of two fearless adventurers.

Together we traveled the world. From Germany, England, France, Scotland, Italy, Austria and almost all across the U.S. I've lived quite an adventurous life beside my parents. From the very beginning they’ve taught me through example to go where God sends you. To the ends of the earth if need be. All my life my parents have packed their bags and headed out with me in tow right behind them. Jack Kerouse’s words ring loudly in my mind when I think of my parents. “Live, travel, adventure, bless and don’t be sorry.” They've always gone where God has sent them...moving as directed and purposely going exactly where He leads each and every time. In all the years I’ve sat and watched my parents, I’ve never seen them lose sight of four things...God, each other, me and my boys. My parents may have lost countless material things along the way but never each other or our family. To paraphrase an unknown author we’ve filled our lives with adventures, not things. We have stories to tell, not stuff to show. And I like it that way. The reality is life hasn’t always been easy and it most definitely has been a struggle uphill more times than I can count for my parents. But what I do know is this: their love and life together continues to defy the test of time. Of all the love stories I’ve ever read none are better than my parents. I have seen the enemy come against them time and time again yet God has always been good. He’s continually supplied all their needs and given each one the strength to  standing hand in hand. Just like Carl and Ellie had to break that savings jar from time to time, my parents have had to do turn over their own wants, desires and plans to God. And yet I look at my parents and I see determination and hope. Through it all my mom and dad have stayed the course, always side by side and always certain they are each other’s true North. They are one flesh, one mind and body just as Mark 10:8-9 speaks of. “and he and his wife are united so that they are no longer two, but one. And no man may separate what God has joined together.” Great marriages don’t happen overnight nor by accident. My parents have made 49 years, still just as in love as the day they said I do because they’ve invested in each other. They've consistently given one other their time, affection, forgiveness and respect. They not only pray together, they pray for each other. I know the truth of Gary Thomas’ words are found within their marriage. “A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make, and you have to keep on making it.” Matthew L. Jacobson asks this: What is one thing all the best marriages have in common? His answer is: Two good forgivers. And that is why my parents have the marriage they have today.

Ephesians 4:2-3 says this. "Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Try always to be led along together by the Holy Spirit and so be at peace with one another.” This is the bar my parents set and still strive for today. My mom and dad are not perfect and I didn't grow in a utopian home. I was however raised in a home where unconditional love was the norm. We had house rules long before they were popular household decorations. In our home we've always been real, given second chances, offered grace, continually made mistakes and owned them, said we’re sorry, hugged it out and loved unconditionally. We're certainly about as human as they come and my folks will be the first to tell y’all. However, the many short fallings they may have they’re covered by the grace of God. He brought them together, and He has kept them bound for 49 years. Like Carl and Ellie, when the time comes they will die loving one another. This is who they are.. In each other God has placed a compass always  pointing them continually back to one another. True love is hard to find, if you've found it then you know. So when you do, you grab hold and you don’t let go. You take good care of it while you can...never taking your true North for granted. Life itself is the adventure, don’t forget that. And if we’re given a soulmate to lose our way and find our soul with, run away with them and don’t look back. Go on an adventure, be it wild and crazy or ordinary. Life doesn’t have to be nonstop, packed with def defying adventures. Life should just simply be lived side by side with those we love. So go climb a mountain together, sail the oceans or rise above it all in a hot air balloon. Maybe just sit down on the curb and enjoy an ice cream like Carl and Russell or take a walk hand in hand as Carl and Ellie did so often. But whatever you do, never give up on your dreams. And as I think about it Russell again puts my thoughts into words beautifully. “That might sound boring but I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most.”

What will I remember? Let me tell you...being tucked in at night, my daddy kissing mama every morning and the smell of mama’s made from scratch oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Sure, we had some fairly big adventures too but mostly it’s the small, little insignificant moments I treasured.  I have lived a life of adventure, been all over the world and seen places many only dream of. But my greatest and fondest memories are those of my daddy enjoying a hot cup of imaginary tea or my mama strumming on her guitar singing with me every afternoon. Yes, the reality is I never quite knew where we’d land next or what crazy nonsense lay ahead. Still what I did know was this: home was wherever our hearts were, not what walls surrounded us. Without a doubt I grew up a wandering soul, raised by adventurers.. Because if this I learned early on J.R.R. Tolkien was onto something. “Not all who wander are lost,” We may have moved to jabip and back again a few times, but home was always home. I may not have known where the Army was sending us next but I did know my parents marriage was built on total commitment and that was enough for me. As Dave Willis says, “The strength of your commitment will always determine the strength of your relationship.” And for my parents? Well the proof is in the pudding I suppose. Today their marriage is 49 years strong and because of their dedication our family circle is tenaciously strong. After 49 years I’d say without a doubt my folks are absolutely writing a love story that will last the test of time

And this is the real heart of my parents love story. Each and every moment has been captured in the adventures we’ve lived together. Our story be it boring, extraordinary and everything in between can be found within. Those very memories...well, we made them together;  and we’ve got some whoppers to tell too. I honestly can’t remember at this point how many times we moved from one house into another through the years. I was in a constant state of memorizing telephone numbers and addresses growing up. I do know my parents ate spaghetti every night for months on end because meat was too expensive living on the economy in Panama. And before you ask why they didn't eat rice, I’ll tell you.  It came home full of bugs. And if that wasn’t an adventure, I don’t know what was. I do remember the terrible, gripping pain of saying goodbye to my daddy when he left for Korea, on a one year hardship tour. It was hard living thousands of miles apart and giving up our own security as a military family for the security of our nation. And because we did, these are now our adventures, stories and tales my grandchildren will tell their own children one day. Some of our experiences have been hard, others unbelievable while many more have simply been amazing. Each one though has made a mark on our lives, creating piece after piece of our family’s fabric  and providing spellbinding, riveting and gripping stories for generations yet to come. And one day when my boys grandchildren talk about their great-great grandparents love story, they will most undoubtedly begin with their tale with these words by Sherman Alexie. “He loved her, of course, but better than that he chose her, day after day. Choice; that was the thing.” You see the truth is if you want to find your true North knowing real, true love then you have to learn to see an imperfect person perfectly through God’s own unconditional loving eyes. And still all these years later even in the midst of new uncertainty I can hear my dad calling out to my mama, “Oh darling, let’s be adventurous.”

Lesson #213 ~ True North, is a love story. It’s about adventure, faith and God’s Almighty grace. A true love story, written by the hand of God never truly ends. So as I close my post today I want to remind you my friends that  true love is real. It’s out there. Your True North is just waiting for you to understand that sometimes you have to get lost first before you find your way. Kinda like my parents did before their hearts collided some 49 years ago on a Sunday afternoon in downtown Philly on a city bus no less.  And almost 50 years later, they’re still each other’s greatest adventure. Happy anniversary mom and dad. I love you forever and always and to the moon and back.

“After all this time? Always. “ ~Unknown

Your baby girl,

~ Merida Grace