Life Lesson #204 ~ I Found Myself... In Wonderland

"Direction is so much more important than speed." ~ Unknown

Fall is my favorite time of the year. And not because of any dramatic or major weather changes either. I mean we're talking Texas here. We're warm enough year round to wear flip flops and shorts most days. Even when it's chilly outside flip flops are still in order with your jacket on. And if it gets seriously cold we'll pull out the boots and sweaters, but all ya have to do is wait a day or two and the flip flops are be back in action. I'm just sayin'. Fall around here, y'all, is rather laid back. But honestly, I kinda like it that way. The sky darkens and sun sets earlier. And yes, the leaves do eventually fall. Truthfully though it will still take a few months for the branches to become really bare. Scarves  do begin appearing, sweaters escape from the closet and long sleeves might eventually see the light of day. As for our BBQ? It's a year round deal. I mean not to brag, but Texas BBQ is simply in a league of it's own. There's just nothing else like it. And truthfully, it's not something we think of as seasonal either. When we invite y'all over for BBQ be it the Fall, Winter, Spring or Summer we don't mean a cookout with burgers and brats. That's grillin'. When I say BBQ, I'm takin' about slow cooking ribs, brisket, pulled pork, turkey legs and sausage. And nope, it doesn't matter what time of the year or how cold or hot it is outside for that matter. That's for darn sure. Seriously, Fall in Texas brings so many wonderful traditions. We play fall ball here. The Friday night lights of Texas high school stadiums come alive. Cow bells, ribbons and Texas sized mums means Texas homecoming season has arrived. And just what are homecoming mums? Well, they are unique. You know how they say everything is bigger in Texas? Homecoming mums are the definition. These gigantic creations made of ribbon, cowbells, and trinkets are not only in full bloom come Fall but also a beloved and cherished tradition passed down from one generation to the next here. College ball is certainly front and center. You either bleed Orange and white or Maroon. And like it or not...Texas football rules most Sundays. That is, of course, directly after the last amen has been hollered from the pulpit. Then there's Dewberry Farm, the corn maze, pumpkin patch followed by the Nutcracker Market right before Thanksgiving. You can bet your last dollar baseball is king. And to collect all you have to do is ask any little leaguer on a Saturday and they'll tell you. Then there's our Ren Fest. It's one of the largest and oldest in the country. It runs for 8 weeks in the Fall and in it's 43rd year is one of the biggest and brightest family traditions round these parts. So yes, I love the Fall, especially here in Texas.

So the truth is I wasn't born here but I can assure you of this: I'm a Texan, through and through. I may not have been born on Texas soil but I sure got here as fast as I could. I like to think of my arrival here in 1980 much like Alice when she first found herself in Wonderland. At first, things appeared strange and odd, but after a while I began to see things in a different and wonderful light. I woke up one day and found myself living in Texas. I was awestruck, that's for sure but I adapted quickly. As a seven year old little girl I took to the drawl, sayings, food and way of life with ease. I had no idea how long we'd be here but I was keen on getting settled in even if it was just for a little while. After all, I was used to moving around, meeting new people and making new friends often. I'd grown accustomed to trying new foods, visiting new places and settling in just in time to be on the move again. I wasn't really sure how or why Houston would be any different. Little did I know Texas was about to become my one and only true home, changing my life in ways I couldn't have ever imagined. Sure I've known some of my deepest pain here but I've also experienced all of my greatest joy as well. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes during my first Texas summer. I suffered a stroke soon after my second child was born and at 32 years old I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer. And all at the very same hospital!  But you know what? I also met the love of my life In Texas too. And together we 've raised two amazingly, bright and talented and if I say so myself, very handsome young men. I found my voice, calling, dreams, heart and by God's grace made a forever home here with my family. True, I have known tragedy almost as much as I have known happiness. But as scribbles and crumbs so beautifully pens, "I've changed. Irrevocably. Permanently. My soul is richer and my heart fuller in brokenness than it ever was without. I've learned true despair, and it's made me learn to appreciate true joy."

For me the Fall represents change, letting go and transformation. I think this is why I love this time of year so much. For our family Thanksgiving has always been a time of reflection. Christmas has it's place but not before Thanksgiving. It's always been this way for us. I was taught to be thankful and give before I thought about receiving. It's just the way we do things around here I suppose. Once we made it to Texas, my daddy's family followed for the most part. Every November we'd gather at my Granny's house. I can't tell you how big of a day this was. And this little freckled faced, toothpick of a redhead was ready to eat! We'd have turkey and all the fixin's let me tell you. Pies? You have no idea! Sweet tea, dressing, my mama's stuffing and the homemade rolls were plentiful. I mean until the cows came home kind of plenty. I loved this day and looked forward to Thanksgiving day all year long. All of our family was there. Aunts, Uncles and of course all my cousins came in from all around Texas and Louisiana.  Believe me the kid's table was full. We'd run around outside until we dropped. And till this day those very memories have stayed with me. The years since may have been hard on many of us. And yes, through those years we've added and subtracted chairs to and from the table. Still I remember Psalms  103:2 when I think of those days. "May I never forget the good things He has done for me." The truth is no rain, no flowers right? Thinking back on Alice right now, comparing her journey and mine, I see the truth. If she hadn't fallen down that blasted rabbit's hole she'd never have found Wonderland. Or for that matter Hatter, Chess or even when she came face to face with the Queen of Hearts. Yes I know she was after Alice's head from the start, but without this particular brand of underground crazy, chasing after Alice she never would have never found her purpose. Alice struggled. She drank this and ate that. She chased the white rabbit then ran in circles in a caucus race, shrank, grew and was nearly burned alive by a dodo bird. Sure, she fell down that dark hole, landing on her butt. There's no doubt as she made her way through Wonderland Alice most definitely tripped over her own two feet at every turn. I can guarantee you Alice found herself at a loss for words more times than she could count too. But the one thing I know about Alice is this: She learned to never lose sight of where she'd been and who'd made the journey with her. Like Alice, we can be fixated on what we feel is right for us. However God, our Father in Heaven knows best. Cliché, I know but true none the less. Looking back on my life, presently, recently and way back when I'm thankful for God's continual guiding presence in my life. Even when I was pulling and tugging at His hands, trying to take back control of my life He was lovingly protecting me from everything I thought I wanted. He's never stopped blessing me or my life, even when I was being obstinate much like Alice daydreaming about a world of her own. I know I'm blessed, even when the rain is falling. In my weakness, Jesus Christ has given me purpose. He has flooded my heart and soul with passion and words He speaks through me. Bishop T.D. Jakes reminds us of this. " If you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For passion will lead you right into your purpose." If not for my own tumble down the rabbit's hole into Wonderland,  I'd never have found myself... or for that matter felt this passion for writing as I do, nor would I felt it as deeply as I have. Stumbling into Wonderland and upon the Mad Hatter, his tea party, Chess in his tree full of riddles or even the Mad Queen and her court was not by accident. Every moment has served a purpose. I'm a better woman for the journey. I know who I am, where my purpose lies and where my passions are leading me. And for this I'm thankful. Now, I'm not saying it's easy. Cause it's not, not in the least. The reality of gratitude is simple and yet complex,  is it not? I really love  how heartfeltquotes.blogspot.com explains thankfulness. "Hard times are often blessings in disguise. Let go and let life strengthen you. No matter how much it hurts, hold your head up and keep going. This is an important lesson to remember when you're having a rough day, a bad month or a crappy year. Truth be told, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones our spirit needs the most. Your past is never a mistake if you learned from it. So take all the crazy experiences and lessons and place them in a box labeled...Thank you." Alice did this. And so shall I. I wonder if you can too?

So my dear friends as we approach Thanksgiving, gathering around family tables with those we love or not (for some anyway), why don't we place the words of Maggie Reyes in our hearts "How you love is how you live." Why don't we choose to live in love with a grateful heart for the life we may not have chosen, but were given. Let's breathe deeply, letting go of our worries, forgiving those who've hurt us and simply find thankfulness for the closed doors and road blocks God has placed in our lives. The truth is, sometimes not getting what we want is the blessing. And that is exactly how I've continued to find  myself in Wonderland among friends and family each and every Thanksgiving since 1980. I may not have saw it comin' back then but today, I'm content with how my life has turned out. Truly, "I'm thankful for all if it. The highs. The lows, The blessings, The lessons. The setbacks. The comebacks. The love. The hate. Everything." So if the good Lord is willing and the creek don't rise, I plan to be full as a tick this Turkey day too. But not just with the amazing food spread out over the table . Instead  my plate will be overflowing with the love of those I call family, biological or not.  If I've learned anything since falling down that rabbit's hole all those years ago and landing in this wonderful place I call home, it's this: "It's not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy." (unknown)  This Thanksgiving will be spent as most of yours...cooking, sharing, gathering together and of course eating till the button on my jeans pop. But let me make this clear, my day will also be filled with thanks and gratitude for all I have been given...for my family, my parents, my hubby and my children. Each and every one of them are gifts beyond compare. Whatever tomorrow brings, tomorrow brings. As for today, I will put Psalm 136:1 into action. "Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His steadfast love endures forever." And as I do, I will continue reflecting on His goodness in my life. And that's what Life Lesson #204 ~ I Found Myself... In Wonderland is truly all about, right? So I say to y'all go on embrace the odd, weird and strange places God is leading you through but always do so with a thankful heart. Take your time. Don't rush yourself. Just be sure you remember something a wise and yet unknown author once said. "Fill your hearts with what's important and be done with all the rest."

Oh my goodness gracious...and sweet heavenly molasses! Look at the time. I have a table to set, a turkey to fry, pies to pull out of the oven, fixin's to fix and family to hug on Shugah. Happy Thanksgiving. Y'all come back now, ya hear.

"Shine brightly. See beauty. Speak kindly. Love truly. Give freely. Create joyfully. Love THANKFULLY." ~ Mary Davis

~ Merida Grace