New Year, New Hope

Here I sit, looking back over the last few days oddly with a smile while shaking my head at the same time. This is the start of a new year, a new chance to live fuller, to shout joyously and dance around the room like I haven't a care in the world. 2009, let me just let it sink in...

Three years ago I was just starting out on my journey through breast cancer. I had no idea where I was going but I was going none the less. So here I stand, all this time later, and I am still here, still fighting. I am not hopeless, helpless nor am I condemned because I have been dealt a life changing blow. I am finally free, for the first time in my life, I was set free from all the chains keeping me on the ground.

Some would say I waited all my life for this journey, I would say I was being prepared, learning how to fly. Now, I can fly without hesitating. I am not the same woman I once was nor will I ever be the same woman again. I have changed, both inwardly and out. I can fly, rise off from the ground, defy gravity, even stand up to status quo. Now when my journey comes to an end I know I will have lived completely without regret.

I can see clearer than I ever have before. I am not defined by this outward shell, but I am defined by the way I choose to live in spite of this beast. Life has not been kind but God has been gracious. In allowing this beast to come my way He has given me friends I never would have known, adventures I never would have taken on my own. In all life's chaos, He has placed order. Where my sight was once cloudy, I have been given a new set of eyes, a new lease on life.

I have no idea what this new year will bring. Darkness, light, pain, sorrow, joy and beauty... no one knows. What I do know is this... life is beautiful, full of reasons to hope. I do not have a resolution this year. I do not plan to give anything up, no I plan to keep moving forward. So this year, this time around, I have a promise instead to offer up.

My plan, my promise for 2009 is this: I will continue my journey, not giving up, instead living each wonderful moment as it comes my way!

Happy New Year, and New Hope to one and all!

Christina