Life Lesson # #235 ~ Brave’s Story...The Story of My Life

“Make your heart the most beautiful thing about you.” `Unknown

If I told you my story without leaving out any of the sorted details, you'd probably think I was crazy or certifiably coo coo.  And I really wouldn't blame you. After all, some of my chapters are a bit far fetched. Page after page filled with nothing but drama, loss, dismay and dark humor. I mean seriously, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. My life, well it’s been action packed from the get-go. My mama can sure attest to this fact too. The night I came into this world was just as eventful. As usual, I was running late. Seriously, even in the womb I was stubborn. So much so, despite being two weeks behind schedule, my mama was unconvinced she was in labor. As her contractions worsened, mama swore up and down she was in false labor. I had other ideas. I was coming into this world, like it or not, head first. Mama might a had doubts but her nurse had none. I was on my way. And like a good southern woman, she didn’t mix words. When mama tried getting up, looking for her clothes, she was promptly told, “You ain’t going nowhere honey. This baby is on the way.” And I was. At 7:27 AM, on the last day of June, all 8 pounds, 9 ounces and 21 1/2 inches of me took my first breath. And just like that my story began. Now, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I’ve fought for every breath, every day, since my mother first held me in her arms some 45 years ago. I was born a free spirit, with adventure in my soul and fearlessness in my heart. I was fiercely independent. So much so by the time Disney’s Brave came around in 2012, he must’ve wondered if they’d confused King Fergus daughter with his own. Merida may have said it, but her words, were in my heart long before she spoke them.” I am Merida! Firstborn descendant of clan DunBroch, and I’ll be shootin’ for my own hand!”  

Raised an only child, I was the apple of my parents' eyes. Now I know what you’re thinking, an only child? Must’ve been spoiled, right? Not so. I was sheltered to an extent it’s true, I’ve always been loved and showered with my parent's attention from the moment I was born. This said though, I was raised to be kind, generous and unselfish and I was taught to give, put others first and always hold tight to my faith. As for the rest of my story? Well, it isn’t some kind of a fairytale filled with rainbows and fairy godmothers. It’s quite the opposite really.

The story of my life has incredibly dark chapters. Some of them are filled with hellish, backbreaking taskmasters too. There’s been no riding off into the sunset or castles filled with riches for me. No, life has been hard and difficult if not problematic through the years. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had my share of adventures believe you me! And if you’ve followed my story even for a small amount of time, then you know what I’m talking about. I’ve had plenty of ogres, trolls, monsters and bogeymen jump out and surprise me along the way not to mention hardships, demons, villains and struggles galore. However, if you look really close at my story, you’ll see there’s this hope inside me, a dream I won’t give up.

If you gave the first few chapters of my life a once over, you’d find most are filled with adversity, calamity and a whole lot of learning curves. I’d even say the first pages are rough around the edges truthfully. Small, monumental but teachable moments of faith, hardship and illumination. See, when I was little girl, I had these big dreams. I wanted to sing, fly to the moon, teach and become a brave warrior princess. I dreamt in bold, bright and vivid technicolor. Neither my imagination or the joy it brought, seemed to fail me. I spent my days running with rebels, flying with dragons and bravely mapping out new, uncharted territory. Even as a child, I had this idea in my heart my life had a purpose. Little did I know however, where fate, destiny and the hand of God would ultimately take me.  

The truth is as told by TobyMac is this. “It is rare to meet a strong person who has had an easy life.” It’s just the truth. Nothing in this life comes easy. I know, anything and everything that could go wrong in my life has. Type 1 diabetes for starters. If that wasn’t a kick in the head, I don’t know what was. Growing up I saw my dad laid off and watched my parents start over again time and time again. Throw in preterm labor, breast cancer, multiple autoimmune complications, asthma, and a stroke amongst others and you could say life’s been unfair. And it has, but just because something's unfair doesn’t necessarily mean it's a bad thing either. Know what I do when I’m feeling sorry for myself? I remind myself of this, “You will never manifest your dreams by complaining your way out of your current reality. “Now I have no idea, despite my best attempts, who said this, but read that again. It’s powerful.

What I know is this. Miracles happen every day. I’ve seen them surface more than once since I was a child. You might not notice them, but they’re there. And do you know how they happen? I do. Miracles materialize when we open ourselves up to this little thing, we call childlike faith. We must believe in the unseen, let go of the fear holding us back. Fear cripples us, hope frees us. When the world is crashing in and your well is running dry, hold tight to your vision. Bad things happen. They do. And when they do you have three choices. One you can let it define you. Two, you can give up and let it destroy you. Or three, my favorite, you can allow it to make you stronger. This is what I know for sure. God is the Author of my story. He knows exactly where and how my story will end. Call it what you will...fate, destiny or Divine design in those page- turning, nail biting, cliffhanger moments, we’ve gotta let hope take flight.  

I don't know about you but I can often relate to Karen Salmansohn’s words,” Often it’s the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into the highest version of yourself.” I can’t promise you a life free of pain, worry or struggle. It’s just not possible. However, like Merida, of Disney’s Brave, I believe, “our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.” And like her, we can be a bit unruly, stubborn and rebellious. Being human, it’s par for the course just as much as following our own path and the desire to live our own life. As we grow up and begin making our own way in the world, we can become a bit impulsive, not really considering the consequences of our own actions. This is typically where all the drama comes in to play spilling into our story. Like Merida, we have a choice to make. We can fight against our destiny or we can bend with it. After all, “when you really pay attention, everything is your teacher.” (Ezra Bayda)

Take a good look. Like Merida, I’m a daughter of the King. Let’s get this straight. I’m no Princess! I’m far as far from perfect as the East is from the West. Seriously, let’s get real. I’m flipping flawed. My life isn’t one of privilege or entitlement and never has been. Believe me, I’ve felt sadness, known grief, fallen off my horse way too many times to count and been labeled a failure. Know what though? All I have to do is turn the page. See, when one chapter ends in tragedy, hope is usually busy working up ahead. Think about it this way. If not for so many pages of darkness and tragedy within my own story, I’d have never known how to wield a sword, shoot an arrow or stand my ground. That’s what I love about my faith. Nothing I go through is in vain. Every heartbreak has a purpose even if I can’t see it just yet.

Personally, I believe God exists. He’s very real to me in ways I can’t fully explain. I’m a warrior, the daughter of a King. I wear every last one of my scars as armor...never shackles or chains. As a daughter has faith in her father, I trust the One who calls me His own. My Father, the King of Heaven is the sole Author and Creator of my life. And while He’s provided me many challenges along the journey, like a good Father, He’s never failed to catch me when I fall. He knows exactly what I need before I ask. His amazing grace is mine just as much as it can be yours too. He doesn’t push, prod or guilt us into His love. It’s simply there, all the time waiting for us when we’re ready. In His mercy we’re set free, and by His unconditional love, forgiveness is never denied.  

I tell you now, God’s never failed me. Not even when I’ve pulled a Merida and hijacked His storyline. In those moments, Proverbs 16:9 speaks to me, reassuring my heart of His words. “You may make your plans, but God directs your actions.” And in Psalms 130:5 God Himself gently reminds me to trust Him. “I wait eagerly for the Lord’s help, and in His word I trust.” No matter how hard it is, we need to trust the process. If not we end up like Merida, too eager to change our fate.  In the end she learned the truth we all must, “it takes courage to be who you truly are.” The truth is there’s a million ways your story could end and a million and one ways to get there. Your story isn’t over. Mine sure isn’t. Take a deep breath. Your adventure is just beginning. Let your story unfold, and in due time it will reveal itself, Sure there’s going to be a few plot twists here and there. You’re going to make mistakes, and you can bet your bottom dollar you’ll have a lot of regrets too. Do me a favor? Let them go. Like the phoenix, reborn; hope rises within us emerging from the ashes of our stories.

So, where have I been going with all this talk of hope, tragedy and a Princess? Right here. Right inside the very pages of my life. Chapter 45, Life Lesson #235 ~ Brave’s Story...The Story of My Life, to be precise. I am Merida, Brave of heart; Firstborn and only daughter of clan Tá súil. I am a Dowling, McBride and Palmer. I come from a long line of cróga and though I may wander I am never lost. And after all these years, I am at peace. My soul is well; and Brave, well, she’s part of me now in every way my soul is. My humble beginnings have given me wings and made the unseen a reality. And this, oh yes, this is my story.

“Wherever you go, you meet part of your story.“  ~ Eudora Welty

~ Merida Grace