Life Lesson #230 ~ No Regrets!

“It’s better to look back on life and say: ’I can’t believe I did that. Than to look back and say: I wish I did that” ~ Unknown

Have I ever told y'all I love to cook? Probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise really. I’m all about creative energy and I love getting creative in the kitchen. Next to writing, cooking soothes my soul.

I’ve always been a creative soul. Can’t argue this. Cooking just became part of the process I suppose. I loved hearing the sound of pots and pans clinking in the kitchen. As a little girl I’d drop whatever I was doing at the time and come running. My daddy was probably a bit more adventurous than my mama. He’d let me take over, concocting whatever creation my heart desired. And he’d eat it too. Brave soul, really. Pretty daring back in the day, honestly. I mean I was known as the destroyer of cakes not to mention I added heat, as in the spicy kind, to oatmeal and ketchup to my, tacos. Well, nothing’s really changed there. I still eat ketchup on my tacos.

Growing up I was always in the kitchen. Both my mama and daddy had their specialties and I wanted to learn all I could from them. Standing on my perch from a chair, I watched everything. I learned a lot from my parenta like how to make hot cocoa, scrambled eggs, a PB&J, banana and baloney sandwich ( yes, you heard me right); and, of course, the perfect grilled cheese. Life was good. And it was tasty too, I might add. I really can’t remember a time when something wasn’t going on in our house. And that meant something was always cookin’ in the kitchen too.

I can remember a table filled with good food, laughter and gatherings that went on into the wee hours of the morning. I grew up in a house full of guests almost every night. Dinner time was never boring. Sometimes it seemed we had more folks around the table than food but it never stopped anyone from pulling up a chair. Never mattered how low the bowls appeared to be, no one ever went hungry. Be it my mama’s eggplant parm, stuffed peppers, chili, Sunday gravy with meatballs, tacos or my daddy’s cheeseburgers, the evening meal was always something to write home about.

You could say I learned the art of conversation around our dinner table as well.  Writing was just a natural side effect. We may have feasted on savory fare but we also partook in meaningful, heart-to-heart conversations. Faith, politics, current events, old family stories, humor and everything in between was spread out along our table. I watched as folks were drawn to my parents and into our home. Till this day, some seats are still spoken for. And no, it's not because mama and daddy ever pretended to be perfect. In fact it’s the opposite really. My parents have always been funny, real people, imperfect, loving, and unapologetic in their faith. The light’s always been on, shining from within my parents home. And in turn, unfailingly drew folks to them.

Growing up the way I did, I learned “your only limit is your soul” long before Disney’s Ratatouille hit the big screen in 2007. Did my parents have regrets? Sure they did. We all do. What my folks showed me though wasn’t ever regret, or unhappiness over past blunders. I saw them face disappointment head on with strength without regrets.. just real life lessons learned. See who we become has nothing to do with where we started. The reality is who you and I ultimately turn out to be has more to do with what we do with our life. Kinda like cooking, huh? All the ingredients are there. Happiness, love, faith, forgiveness, mercy, fear, anger, bitterness or hate. What you add, take away or combine makes all the difference, right? My parents showed me this by their example both in life and the kitchen. Neither one ever really followed the recipe. And I don’t either. I’m a little bit of this and a pinch of that kind of girl. When it comes to recipes of life, I tend to follow Beau Taplin’s advice. “Happiness is not a checklist. A dream job, a fast car, a good home, even love, mean nothing at all if you have not yet found a way to feel full and content in your own mind and heart.”

My parents each have a past. I do too. None of us make it out of this world unscathed. Life brings us to our knees, doesn’t it? We can stress all we want, even regret our past but none of it changes anything. When I’m in the kitchen fixing something up, thinking over my day, I often reflect on little Remy. He knew where he came from and didn’t let it hold him back. I wonder if we should all  be a little more like Remy? Think about it. When we face regret, narrowing our eyes in on our past, we lose sight of the here and now. Maybe what we really need is to remember what Chef Gusteau tried his best to convey. “If you focus on what you left behind, you will never see what lies ahead.” Quite the gem there, isn’t it?

Like Remy in Ratatouille, we all have to rethink our lives every once in a while. Like it or not we need to stop and ask ourselves these two questions. One, Is our past and where we come from going to define us or two, are we going to become the true chefs we were meant to be? This tidbit right out of the film, puts it all into perspective, doesn't it? “Let you past inspire you, let it motivate you, but never let it hold you back.” You see God’s grace is bigger than any regret or hurt in our past. I know this isn’t an easy thing to accept. Truthfully it’s one of the hardest. But grace, God’s grace covers our hearts, washing away regret, fear and each and every bruise left behind. Grace, insures our mistakes aren’t for nothing. Grace means our past serves a purpose. God’s grace never leaves us where He found us. The next time regret comes knocking remind yourself of I Corinthians 15:10. “Yet, it was not I but God who was working through me by His grace.”

Jesus is the answer. His grace is a powerful ingredient. Never leave it out. To quote Chef Auguste Gusteau. “You must be imaginative...You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from.” Let his words sink in. And while Chef Gusteau certainly is the guiding the force, Remy is the inspiration behind Life Lesson #230 ~ No Regrets! After all, we all need an artistic, creative, brave and optimistic muse in our lives, don’t we?

Wrapping up my thoughts here today, let me share something with you from Andrea Dykstra. “In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.” I’ve quoted her before, and I’ll continue to. Her words are clear, true and sound. Yes, we’ve all made mistakes. It’s how we learn. I’ve made my share and then some, Lord knows. I don’t know anyone whose life came with an instruction book, do you? Some of us fight financial battles, while others family and relationships, and the rest of us health or mental difficulties. I honestly don’t know many folks who aren’t juggling any given combination, on any given day. I know I am.

I’ll tell you this. My parents taught me the only real thing I can expect in life is unpredictability. However, they showed me by example Jesus is the one sole person I can count on all my life long. Now believe me, I watched them struggle. Nothing came easy but I saw them figure problems out as they came. Honestly, if I had an instruction book, kinda like a recipe, I’m not totally sure if I’d follow it anyways. Truth be told, life’s shown me I gotta accept my past. Can’t sit around denying it happened. Regret can seriously manipulate our present if we’re not careful. And if I’m not living in my present with confidence, then I’m living in the past with regret and fear. Know what? I don’t want either to have a say in my future.

Over and over again I’ll say it. I regret nothing. I look back with only gratitude. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the bumps in the road. I’ve certainly grown as a cook. No more spicy oatmeal that’s for sure. You know what though? I’ve grown just as much as a writer. And I’ll keep growing, everyday, mistakes and all. So how about it then? No regrets? Let’s leave it there and be done with it.

Look, I gotta back to my kitchen. I live in the South y’all, where no leaves hungry or cornbread on their plate. Dinner’s calling and it ain’t gonna fix itself. Y’all come back now, you hear?

“I am not someone  who is ashamed of my past. I’m actually really proud. I know I made a lot of mistakes, but they, in turn were my life lessons.” ~ Drew Barrymore

~ Merida Grace