Life Lesson #84 ~ The Woman I Am Becoming

“The woman I was yesterday introduced me to the woman I am today; which makes me very excited about meeting the woman I will become tomorrow.” The woman I was once is gone.  Like a butterfly I've broken free from my cocoon. I'm braver than I was, much more independent and far more free thinking. No, I wasn't as strong or always as tough as I am now. However I have always been genuine though sometimes to a fault. I’ve lived a life that has resonated a fervent and spirituous nature. I’ve always been a passionate soul that’s for sure.  I'm feisty, full of laughter and eager for adventure. I was raised by two unbelievably loving, caring, affectionate and kindhearted  parents. They taught me the art of being silly, of being true to myself and having a strong mind of my own. My stubborn, head strong ideas, my hopes and dreams were never discouraged. My parents encouraged me to soar, to fly and spread my wings from the moment I was born.  Through the years I haven't always been accepted for the spirited and awkward soul I am but that has never dampened my spirit any. I was taught to simply be me, and not to go with the flow just to fit in. I was shown by example to always be my own kind of beautiful and to never doubt my potential. My parents were quite alright with their only child being a square peg.  After all a round peg is just another shape right? My parents never asked me to be anyone other than myself. Being different, was not an unwelcome trait in our home. Being different was a badge of honor. I learned early on it was quite fine for me to “spend life doing strange things with weird people.” And truthfully I've done just that my entire life without a second thought.

As the years have passed, and I’ve watched my life transform I’ve been reminded repeatedly just how blessed I am. As a little girl I knew only one thing, well make that three, I was loved unconditionally, no matter where I went or what I did Jesus always loved me and if I could dream it, I could do it.  Yes, in many ways I was sheltered, but I was also encouraged to explore, to find my own voice, my unique way and not to make apologies for the path I took to get there. Till this day I am aware what sets my life apart, heck what sets anyone’s life apart for that matter is the art of simply being yourself.  Sure you can call me all kinds of names, say it’s a lack of this or that, shoot you can even hate me for whatever reason you please but that doesn’t change who I am or who I’ve become. The only person hate truly changes is you. “I am not like everyone else. I don’t pretend to be. I don’t want to be. I am me.” (Wild Woman Sisterhood) This is the very lesson taught to me from the time I was little. See, I understand my superpower is not found in my battles, my scars or in my accomplishments. None of those things define me. “I am me, that is my superpower.”

What many fail to understand is being true to yourself individually, spiritually and independently is what truly sets you apart. Being yourself, not a counterfeit or a knock off gives you a stage for your own unique voice to be heard. What I have learned in the processes of growing up, even at the age of 43 is life is basically a continuing education. Personally I'm still learning who I am to this very day. The thing about gaining wisdom is in fact understanding you’re never fully enlightened, you’re always learning. Life is a constant process of giving and taking, pushing and pulling. Our days are a mix of victories and failures, lessons and tests, each one teaching us, inspiring us and motivating us to become the best version of ourselves as possible. 1 Corinthians 15:10, says it best in my book, “But God’s kindness made me what I am, and that kindness was not wasted on me.” He made me who I am; He made you who you are. There is no competition nor is there anything to prove. He taught us to dance and to sing by different drums, to speak with our hearts and to love from our souls. I am His, just as you are His. Our stories, they are all different. My story, your story, our tests and trials are not the same.  The story our lives tell about us, well they are honestly just beginning. Of course that is only if we'll learn to get out of our own way and simply be ourselves. The reality is, "Life is the most difficult exam. Many people fail because they try to copy others not realizing that everyone has a different question paper."

Truthfully my life is a work in process, a messy notebook complied with failures and successes. Each day this life of mine is continually being filled with additional stories compiling pages and notes about who I have become so far. So many more chapters have already been written, finished and closed. And still more are very definitely blank, unwritten and waiting to bepenned. I've certainly tripped and fallen flat on my face too many times to count and then jumped off a cliff and soared. The little girl I once was has grown up, become a wife, a mother, a breast cancer survivor, a teacher and a writer. I'm not there yet;  Believe me I still have so much to do and to learn in the process of transforming into the woman I want to become someday. So Life Lesson #84 ~ is simple: The woman I am becoming is fiercely herself. Bill Gates said perfectly,"Don't compare yourself with anyone in this world...if you do so, you are insulting yourself." And that's why the woman I have become is stuck on being completely 100%  naturally herself. And yes, the woman I hope to become well, she’s still being shaped, molded and constructed into a woman of originality and grace.

I can tell you this, I am not weak, but I’m not invincible. I bleed, I cry and I feel heartache. On the flip side of that coin I mend, I laugh and I hope. Sure some may not “get me” or see a glimpse into the woman I truly am. Some may make assumptions of who they think I am but those who genuinely know me, understand I’m a work in progress. And oh how blessed I am by those few. I certainly may not be everyone’s cup of tea but I am and will always be me, imperfect, flawed and different. And I’m absolutely fine with that. What I do know is this: I am continually changing, growing and developing into the woman I hope to fully become one day. I’m excited to grow, even if it means pruning. After all, this is my life, my story and my book. The only author is Jesus Christ, and I don’t have to apologize for His edits and revisions.  I am on my way to becoming the woman He created me to be. Yes, “I am the daughter of a King who is not moved by the world for my God is with me and goes before me. I do not fear for I am His.” And yes I will always be His even if I am an unusually strong-willed and passionate square peg. After all, "originality is rare"and I'm perfectly content with that.

~Christina