Queen of Wishful Thinking

There are moments in my life when I seriously question where my childhood dreams went wrong. I mean was I the only little girl who wondered what it might be like to travel to distant lands and experience the world through untouched eyes?

What about all those long afternoons spent under the tree of Hopes and Dreams? Didn’t we all steal a moment at least once under her majestic canopy? Do you remember feeling the wind brush your face and the warm kiss of the sun as you lay under her blowing leaves? Oh I do! How I longed and dreamed of dancing everyday beneath this beautiful tree with all her grandeur.

Oh the charming scenes I would play out in my imagination, the worthy king by my side, the smell of the mad hatter’s tea, the glass slipper finally being placed upon my foot, becoming a queen to a handsome, strong king who saves the day? Well as my story unfolded life didn’t quite go so romantically now did it? Nope, not really….

The fall down the Rabbit’s hole, well it was a bit too bumpy for my taste, the glass slipper; well it was a bit uncomfortable, the tea was a bit too tart, causing all my hair to fall out and as for being a queen, well all that got me was the title of “Queen of Wishful Thinking”.

Falling down the rabbit’s hole and chasing after the white rabbit? Dreams of a mad hatter, tea and cakes, talking mice and a fairy godmother, well it’s not that they don’t have some place in our lives… believe me they do! The honest truth is sometimes this dream of ours, these ideas of what we think a perfect life is supposed to be doesn’t really work out. No, it doesn’t mean life isn’t beautiful, because life is a work of art just a very untidy, messed up, chaotic beautiful work of art if you know what I mean.

We are not meant to live perfect lives, no, we are meant to struggle. Why do I say this? Well because the struggle puts life in perspective. If we don’t have to challenge life then we don’t have to embrace it either. It blows me away each and every day I wake up to a new day, the sun rise, and the memories of dreams long forgotten, my husband’s kiss and the touch of my children’s goodbye hugs all bring my struggles into focus. These are the real treasures of life.

We are given the honor of the throne not by right, nor by the perfect fit of a glass slipper. We don’t just fall down a rabbit’s hole, nope we are generally pushed, and frankly become as mad as a hatter along the way. The truth is unending love is found not in the forever after of our childhood stories, but instead in the struggle, the effort of everyday life, in everyday love.

The wild whisper we hear blowing on the wind is just a long lost friend calling us home. Embrace it my friend, take it all in. Explore the tunnel to wonderland, sit down for tea, dance with the fairy godmother and allow yourself to be queen if just for a moment. Go ahead look back with the same childlike innocence you once had and dream again only this time embrace the struggle skipping along beside you.

You know, thinking about it I for one do not mind having the title,” Queen of Wishful Thinking” bestowed upon me. Actually I think it suits me quite well because through all the twisted paths, long journeys and detours life has taken me on and despite all my wishful grandeurs of a perfect life I believe I have finally found my way back home to the tree of Hopes and Dreams, even if it is a little un kept and overgrown, she has after all had her share of struggles too.

~Christina