Down the Rabbit's Hole

Ever feel as if you have fallen down a rabbit's hole? You know what I mean... it happens on one afternoon when you are just lazily strolling outside. You hadn't meant to find it but you did right?Out of nowhere you found an odd little hole and yes this is where you decided to just take a peek. After all it is just a bit curious... seriously what could it hurt right?

Let's just see what may be inside it, just a peeksy. Hum... what could this bit of a nuisance be? It's just the tiniest of lumps. Never mind...

"Alice, oh Alice are you listening to me? Yes, yes of course I am. Well, looky there! It's a white rabbit with a watch and he's telling me he's late. What on earth could he be late for? What? I am overdue... no you are over due! Very important, what could be so important? Oh well, maybe I should have kept my mammogram appointment six months ago? Well no bother.... oops!"

The next bit of insanity follows when curiosity grabs the better of you and sucks you down the tunnel head first and into Boobie Land. After all we are now chasing a white rabbit through a land filled with talking flowers, impassable, but not impossible doors, mad tea parties and insane queens after our heads!

Any of this sound a bit familiar? Well life with breast cancer and the years following it can seem rather like a day in Wonderland. Poor Alice says it correctly at the beginning when she says "Better read it first, for if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it's almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later. "

Once we hear the words breast cancer, from start to finish, we are lost in a world we know nothing about or understand. From the diagnosis, to the mastectomy, the rounds of chemo and on to remission life is a bit out of control for a while. What is it Alice says , " It would be so nice if something made sense for a change?"

I have often thought my own trip to Boobie Land was more like sitting down for tea with the Mad Hatter. Seriously think about this scenario? " What are we celebrating? Unbirthdays of course! " I don't know about you but before breast cancer I never thought to celebrate an unbirthday.

So now as we sit down to have a cup of tea with the Mad Hatter ( Believe me this irony is not lost on me as I think about the many bandanna's I wore after my own cup of unbirthday tea!) and engage in all his insane merriment we begin asking questions. "Of course I are seeking information... no I don't want anymore tea because I haven't had any yet! "

Mind you, not only is there no room and yet plenty of room at his table, there is more tea choices and questions than we ever thought possible. Tea pots are scattered everywhere and as soon as you pour yourself a cup you are scooted down the table into another chair. No time for sugar if you please! Just keep moving, scooting and pouring my dear.

Honestly before any of us know what has really happened we have caused ourselves more trouble than we thought possible. While chasing after the rabbit he indeed did lead you to his "most important of dates" and right to the ax swinging, "off with her" head screaming queen. (Well in this case your breast! ) She is begins calling every crazy insane character into her lunatic courtroom and proclaiming "everything is very important" commanding it be written down.

Way too many rules have been thrown your way and before you yourself even have the facts straight your head is spinning. The Queen, who you have decided at this point, is just seriously insane is spinning around crazily going on about her temper. This queen of Boobie Land has herself decided she wants the sentence first and the verdict afterwards. What? Is she kidding you? Not in the least and why? Because all ways are the queens ways of course and so informs the jury of her request. No hope for you girlie! You better get moving and soon too because once again she is yelling "off with her head!"

Where is the exit right? How do you get out of this place? The Queen for certain does not want to let you get away, but you must for goodness sake. And truthfully in time we do get out one way or another. We all wake up a bit shaken from our experience, ready to shake it off and possibly a bit more agreeable to our important dates.

In the end our stories may seem curious to others but they are still ours to tell. As Alice so poetically says, " When I get home I shall write a book about this place... "

Christina