Cancer



Cancer. It all starts with just one simple and yet very terrifying word. The words that follow are just as terrifying... pain, death, chemo, change, courage, survival and hope. We change, we grow and we fight. We become champions, warriors, legacies. We leave behind a part of ourselves, and we take up a cause. We fall, we get back up and we fall again. Cancer, it can't be happening to me, to us, but it is.

Why? How do I make things right again? Will I live? Will I die? Will I see my children grow to be men? Please God, don't take them from me, I want to hold my boys, kiss their cheeks every night , see my boys graduate high school and find love. I don't want to leave them behind so soon God!

Cancer. It is a four letter word stretched into six. A knock down hit you between the eyes kind of word. Cancer catches you unexpectedly. Cancer grabs hold of you and tries with all it's might to strangle the life out of you. Even though in the end cancer may take your life, it can not take you down!

CANCER changes, hurts, crushes and then pushes you back up on your feet again. I know, my day came on January 26, 2006. I found myself staring breast cancer right in the eyes. I changed forever. I found my life was not as indestructible as I was thought. I was vulnerable, small and suddenly at risk. But then you stand up, get your baring's again, and decide to fight the beast back. Now I am living proof, in remission 2 years after aggressive chemo that there is life in spite of cancer. I spend my life living in my own Kodak moments. I don't take for granted the small things and I cherish every breath I am given. I now know that I am living on borrowed time and I am thankful for each day I have to share with my children, with my husband and with my parents. I will not live afraid of the unknown anymore! I will live in spite of what I do know and I will live even though I have to share my body with this beast!

So what would you do? What will you do? How will you fight the beast if and when the beast comes your way? Will you be afraid? Yes, but I will be there for you. I have already traveled this road, so I can help navigate the detour ahead of you. Cancer is a beast, but not impossible to beat! We will do it, one day our children will not have to feel cancer's sting. One day, cancer will just be history to our grandchildren! But until that day comes, I will walk with you, accompany you down this road for I am still making this journey myself. When we walk this path together, we do not walk alone. I am a survivor and I will be there to help you stand up and fight back when your day comes!

Christina

Comments

  1. AnonymousSeptember 7, 2008 at 10:16 PM

    Strong entry!!  I'm glad that you are here!!!

    Joann

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousSeptember 8, 2008 at 1:40 PM

    You have a special journal reading dear, makes us all stop and think.  All of us have something going on health wise with ourselves, our loved ones and friends and we all have to keep striving for another day.  No one is guaranteed forever on earth, we just have to enjoy each day to the fullest and not allow ourselves to worry about what tomorrow brings.  Bless you, you're a remarkable lady.  Arlene (AJ)

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousSeptember 8, 2008 at 6:39 PM

    Wonderful entry!!!!

    Keeping you in my prayers always

    Hugs
    Terri

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousSeptember 8, 2008 at 9:20 PM

    Sending you many hugs!
    Love & Hugs
    Debbie

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousSeptember 8, 2008 at 9:20 PM

    Sending you many hugs!
    Love & Hugs
    Debbie

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousSeptember 9, 2008 at 10:41 AM

    Christina, such strong and beautiful words dear friend. If that day ever came for me, I would gladly let you stand with me and do battle with the beast. Your courage, your inspiration, your words of comfort gave you strength to help the next one in line to survive Cancer. Thank you, for no other reason than being YOU! (Hugs)Indigo

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousSeptember 17, 2008 at 9:38 AM

    I so admire your ability of putting into words those feelings  which I share with you as a cancer sufferer.
    Standing together and sharing moments like this helps to comfort and strengthen ours and other like minded sufferers resolve against the beast.
    Very well written Christina!

    Hugs
    Jeanie xx

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Please leave your comments and share your thoughts.

Popular posts from this blog

Life Lesson #157 ~ Daughters of the King

Image
"A Daughter of the King is known not by the crown she wears. but by the message she bears." ~ Daughters of the King ebook As a child did you ever dream of being royalty? I know I did. Yes, this comic book loving, Sci-Fi watching little girl daydreamed of being a princess. Pictures of Snow White and Sleeping Beauty come to mind. I mean who wouldn't want to talk to animals and sing all day? I sure did, but more than anything  I wanted to wield a sword, carry a shield and fight with the rebels. I twirled around in my cape made from a bath towel and carried a light saber made of a cardboard wrapping paper roll. My idea of royalty was more of a warrior than a dainty helpless damsel. I wanted to be like my favorite Amazon fighting Princess, Wonder Woman right out of my comic books or even Princess Leia from a galaxy far far away fighting against an evil Empire. Looking back now, I know I'm a warrior by birth. Even at my weakest, I've been a fighter from the ...
Read more

Life After Breast Cancer...

Image
As a young woman I didn't think too much about breast cancer. I figured that I would deal with it when I was older. I had time to figure it all out later, right? Well later came much sooner than I expected. Twenty came, and so did 30 yet I was young, not nearly old enough to battle breast cancer. How wrong I was! So I was in shock when I felt a lump in my breast. I was in even more shock when at 32 years old I was heard the words breast cancer as my own personal diagnosis. Suddenly breast cancer was bidding for an up close and personal relationship with me. Breast Cancer? Someone had to be kidding right? No, no one was pulling my leg. I was too young. I was not ready to succumb to life with breast cancer, not at 32 years old. I wasn't ready to have my breast removed and thrown in the waste basket along with my chest wall. I mean that is exactly what happened. No, I wasn't ready to have the plastic surgeon inject 100 plus cc's of saline into my expander twice a week. Tha...
Read more

Life Lesson #484 ~ The Blooper Reel

Image
  “Your mistakes don’t define your character. It’s what you choose to do after you have made the mistake that makes all the difference.” ~ Dave Williamson If my life was a montage in a film, you’d probably be surprised by the bloopers reel. And when I say bloopers, I mean gigantic, enormous, colossal epic fails. My life is full of them. Quite regularly too. I’m an ordinary, everyday run of the mill, clumsy, muck it up, fish out of water. If there’s a way to mess it up, I’ll find it. Kinda like those Pinterest fails. Yep, that’s me. I start out with good intentions and suddenly the whole thing goes sideways before I know what’s happened.  So, let's get this out in the open right away. I’m about as flawed as they come. I don't have any superpowers. Well, that is unless you’re counting my ability to put my foot in my mouth or trip over my own feet. Then I have some rather amazing, dynamic and extremely high-powered capabilities.  Not that my whole life is amuck, all the time...
Read more