Brave Heart, Brave Soul. She who is brave is free.

Today Johnny and I celebrate 13 years together. On this very day thirteen years ago we stood hand and hand vowing our love to one another no matter how the world would turn in the years ahead of us. I was young, but I knew no matter what storms would come, Johnny loved me and I him. We were complete opposites, yet we were hand picked for one another. In Johnny I found myself and in turn we found a whole new life before us, together... So today, April 27, 2009, I celebrate the mark of many passing years with my husband. Has each one of them been easy? No, many have been hard and long, but each one have been met together.Many seasons have come and gone since we spoke our vows that beautiful evening spring sky. Even many more lessons have been taught as we have faced the miles both ahead of us and behind us.Tear's and triumphs have come our way but in each one we have been side by side, together through the good and the bad. We have welcomed two beautiful baby boys and found love bey...

I loved circus day as a child. The sights, the sounds and yes even the cotton candy were all part of the experience. But truly for me it was the one day I felt I was home, among those who understood my oddly, yet unique spirit. Don't get me wrong, my family is where my home is, where my heart is. I have always been loved and cared for. I would not trade my life for any other but as a child I always felt a bit out of place. I was different from the other kids and so circus day was a kind of homecoming for me. I was under the big top, with diverse, beautiful, and sometimes odd people. I would laugh, hold my breath and long to travel the world with this beautifully woven and threaded family. Yes, as a little girl I always wanted to run away and join the circus. I sure was an imaginative little thing for sure. I was always running around with my imaginary friends, balancing on pretend wires, dancing in and out of hoops. Just the thought of circus life was absolutely thrilling. The ligh...

Have you ever felt as if you were having an identity crises? Aren't those reserved just for mid-life? Well, darn it I sure thought so. It turns out, I was wrong. Well it happened once upon a night like this: So there I was, watching TV with my hubby, in my jammies when the silly bug bit me! I was fine one minute and knocked down the next. I was in mid sentence when I suddenly felt the strangest twinge of pain hit me. Before I knew what had dozed me over I was blurting the words out of my mouth, "Johnny I don't breasts anymore, I have just a breast! I think I am having an identity crises honey." Puzzled and confused I sat up and immediately looked down at what is left of my breasts. I felt strangely inadequate, as if I was incomplete. I wondered how Johnny saw me? Does he see the same women on the TV set and regret my lack of serious boobage? Seriously the young women sporting big beautiful breasts on the TV before me were perfect, at least by the wo...

There are times in every one's life when the rains begin to fall. At first they may seem to fall gently, soft upon your face. But then you look up, see the clouds opening up wider, the rain falls harder and the winds gust fuller. Suddenly the rain you welcomed has become an unwelcome threat forcing you to run for cover and shelter. The rains began softy, refreshing your weary body, but have now turned their forces, overwhelming, overtaking and flooding all you once held to. As the sheets come down, your eyes catch sight of a powerful flash flood coming from around the corner. Before you have time to catch your breath you have gone under with the sheer force of it's measure. Living in the wake of cancer is very similar to being caught up in a sudden storm. One moment you are basking in the sun, enjoying the beauty of life, when suddenly there is a down pour of hard, forceful, pounding rain falling on top of your head. It is this type of rain that can and will at some point over...

I have been pondering whether to write a new entry for Easter or not this week. I have not been at my best and so I have wondered what I could bring to the table and offer this week. I have just not been myself, as I have been struggling with a few physical issues. I can say truthfully my heart has been sentimental and my spirit tired as well. I have needed the rest physically, emotionally and spiritually. As I look back over my journal I can see there are many weeks when I can write and write but then I just seem to disappear,and hide a way for a little while. The truth is sometimes I need time to be quiet, for my soul to rest and to find my inner strength once again. Once I have done that I can sit down at my keyboard, write from my heart and let my spirit run free. So this week has been" one of those" for me, especially as I look back on where I have traveled from to where I stand now. In the last three years I have walked in the footsteps of many great women before me. I...

April is here. Spring has sprung and it's still cold! I love the cold, really I do but not in the spring. I am ready for the warmth and the beauty of a new season. But it's still cold outside and I am still hiding inside my warm home. My point is life is never certain. We never know what it will throw at us next. One minute you can be basking in the sun and the next you can be standing in a wind storm. My life has been filled with such events. I had lived through many crazy unpredictable storm changes in my life. As a child I dealt with type 1 diabetes. As a teenager I dealt with blood clots and into adulthood came a stroke, bells palsy and of course breast cancer and lymphedema. I have had times I just wanted to pull my hair out. I never fit the "norm". I didn't get out and do normal things like the other kids did. By the time I was 21 I finally began coming into a sense of who I was outside of my illnesses. For one , I met Johnny. At first he seemed to many as ...

....After a long night of fighting cancer cells our super hero is back on the chemo couch. Suddenly Breast Cancer Woman springs to her feet to face her arch villain, The Beast! They stand toe to toe and eye to eye, circling, pacing with teeth clenched. The Beast reaches for BCW, but she is too late, BCW has already been juiced full of the Red Devil himself. BCW is grinning back at The Beast who begins to cower in fear. Still The Beast growls as Breast Cancer Woman begins to glow an iridescent red and yells "I'll be back!" BCW just grins bigger as she grabs her trusty side kick, the IV Pole, and replies, " No you won't you fiend, I have T.A.C.! " A bit melodramatic, I know, but the truth is without a bit of humor, a willingness to fight and the determination to survive, Breast Cancer can't be beat. Many ask me how I have kept such an upbeat positive attitude with the risk of death chomping at my heels. Well, I have done so with lots and lots o...