Life Lesson #190 ~ I'll Lead You Home
As the days drug by my mom struggled with depression. Something I had never seen before. At first she didn't want to cook, to clean or even do much more than sleep. Our dinners went from home cooked meals to pot pies and frozen mini pizza's. We heard from my dad as often as possible. Letters came back and forth, phones calls weren't often or long enough and our family photographs always seemed lonely, minus one. I felt lonely, alone, abandoned, deserted and isolated. I wanted nothing more honestly than to find my way, and our way back home, to the place I felt not only safe but secure. I often thought I'd wake up one day with our car packed up, dog in tow, dropped off and checked in at my Granny's house, my mom on a plane outbound to South Korea. I wondered how I'd feel about that or if I'd find a way to sneak on the plane myself. I'd reasoned this out in my six year old imagination. I'd stowaway, and return triumphantly, sitting right where I belonged...in the middle seat, between my parents. And of course I'd have a whopper of a tale to tell too, right? But that was not to be. My life had currently seemed to suit Alice you know? "If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise what it is wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be would. You see?" But I didn't see, not really. Somehow even though I hadn't given my consent and without warning I'd found my six year old self physically residing inside the bizarre and unexplainable world of Wonderland. And "for reals this time" too.